Housing

Does anyone know if there’s a way I can get help with housing? I’m currently living at home with a 2 month old baby + my partner but with a toxic relationship with the family. I don’t feel welcome or comfortable here. The whole situation caused me to get depression whilst pregnant which has only got worse since baby is here. I’ve been put on medication and referred to the mental health team but I’d love to get to the root of the issue and try to leave. I haven’t been able to enjoy my experience at all. I absolutely hate it here.

I don’t earn much money with my job (10k per year or less if I take unpaid leave for a holiday) because I’ve got my own business & 90% of my money goes on the rent on the property + water + electric & putting money in to the business, so I don’t take home a decent wage to live off.

My partner has only just very recently (8 weeks ago) started a business earning good money (67k per year before tax) but he’s currently spending most of his earnings on new tools and equipment and uniforms and vehicles etc. So he won’t be keeping the money until he’s fully set up if that makes sense.

So neither of us have savings to move out.
If I earnt his money I’d definitely save to move out but I feel like it’s unfair of me to ask him to do it all 100% on his own.

Government wise I don’t think I can get help with housing because I’m not homeless and have a place here to stay, although I really can’t bare to be here any longer, they won’t see it that way.

My dad earns a very high wage working in central London so if they look in to that, they will be very unlikely to help me. Even though my dad doesn’t help is out financially at all (apart from not charging us rent) he never offered to buy 1 thing for the baby. I got EVERYTHING second hand.

I was wondering if anyone knew if I’m entitled to anything, even though I’m 99% sure I’m not. I need to find a way out !!

My partner doesn’t want to rent anywhere before anyone suggests it because we’ll be stuck not being able to save to buy, he’d rather us get a mortgage one day but that won’t be for many many years to come.

in our community

Am I overreacting? Feeling overwhelmed and just need to rant

I was so overwhelmed yday and by the time husband came in I hadn't made dinner, told him to give baby his milk. I come back and baby is running around whilst he's on his phone, says baby needs me. I put him sleep then I clean up his bath, his high chair and the floor whilst he's fallen asleep on the floor, then I finish the food ate and he fell asleep with the plate on the sofa. I wash everything up, put things away. Did the laundry, cleaned the whole place, sorted food by the end I was exhausted and done. All I need for him was to help maybe just wash his bottles one less thing to do for me. I had a cry but he seemed to take no notice. I completely get that he is working long hours and is tired but I literally have no time for myself - he gets to leave anything to get a haircut or do whatever

Thi morning he left at 6.3am to travel far for work and said he will pop into his aunty for an hour and come
Back by midday. I ended up going to my parents and he came at midnight to pick me up and didn't even bother communicating with me that he's going to be late. Am like I don't get to just go and sit down for hours and hours and chat away. I don't get the time to do anything,
I'm with him 24/7 even when he napping I'm not sitting down I'm prepping his food tidying or having a shower but he can jsut carry on without any mind. I got so annoyed that he had just stayed there the whole day whereas he really could have left early as he has responsibilities here.

I'm so fed up that I'm constantly doing everything, he's self employed and works round the clock and I get that but gosh I don't get a break. He says that I'm being unreasonable for getting annoyed at him for leaving the whole day. Especially after yesterday I'm already so overwhelmed and you have left didn't even help out or change baby in the morning which he never does and thinks I'm being unreasonable.. am I just overreacting?

Overwhelmed and feeling alone

Recently I feel a real sense of frustration at how uneven things are between me and my husband but I may be being unfair. My husband works full time and one day a week from home, I’m on maternity with our 5 month old.
I put her down for all daytime naps even at weekends and I do all nights even at weekends. We both do bottles and nappies. My husband sleeps in a separate room. I feel like this is a huge amount of responsibility and stress on me and it leaves me exhausted but then he does work so am I being unreasonable?! My husband used to wake early on a Saturday and sunday e.g 5.30 come and get the baby and I’d sleep until 9. Over the last few weeks it’s got later, rather than waking early especially he now wakes at his usual time of 7am and then comes and gets her. It frustrates me as it feels like all sacrifices are made by me, 7 am is not that early considering I’ve done the whole night …again I worry I’m being unreasonable . He’s very good at saying things like ‘at some point I’ll have to learn how to put her down for naps’ but then does nothing to actually try or instigate it. He also tells me to not get frustrated and I’m not doing anything wrong e.g when she is fighting sleep and I get very upset and cry or fighting her naps and he’s genuinely trying to make me feel better but it annoys me because it affects me and not him because he’s not involved in any of the sleep stuff …..

Would you be annoyed?

Took my 4yo and baby out trick or treating tonight with my friends and their kids. The dad's were in my friends house watching the football and we were going back there afterwards for a take away. I hadn't been feeling that well today and while out I started feeling so sick. Baby woke up and was screaming so I took baby home to bed and left my 4yo with my friends and their kids. They said they would take him back to their dad (my husband) who was in the friends house when they were finished. My husband and 4yo are still there!! Its 11pm! I had messaged my husband asking him to watch what he was drinking incase I started being sick as I might have needed help with baby. I've slept on and off for hours and thankfully feeling ever so slightly better but wtf! Am I over reacting? 😆

Is this a disrespectful text message?

I want to be honest with you, and I don't wish to cause you any stress or upset you. I just need to get this off my chest because I don't want my feelings to continue building up.

Some things have made me uncomfortable, like cutting Raphael's hair without asking me and taking the kids into rooms and closing the doors. These things have contributed to my lack of trust because I feel like you want to do what you want with my children without respecting my boundaries as their mother. My children's safety and well-being will always come first, and I need to know that my rules will be respected.

I don't care what Michael tells you about me or what you think of me. I know I'm a good mom, and my children are loved, cared for, and safe. I have tried to encourage a relationship between you and the kids because I want them to have a relationship with their grandparents.

I'm willing to give babysitting a try while Michael is away because I want you to have that opportunity, but I want to be honest that I'm not completely comfortable with it because of the trust issues I have. I need to know that you can respect me as their mother, even when you don't agree with my decisions. I don't want to keep you from your grandchildren, but I do need to feel that my boundaries will be respected. I hope we can understand each other better and move forward with mutual respect.

Starting solids

My baby is turning 3 months on November 5th and I REALLYYY want to have her try foods for thanksgiving. Is it to early? I want to l purée some foods and put breast milk in it to thin it down a lot. I was thinking about calling and asking her pediatrician aswell. She already seems to be interested in food, every time I eat she stares at my food and smack her lips together.

No family/No village and Dad won’t let me hire a nanny

We have not been on a parent’s only date night in over 2 yrs now. He told me he trusted me to find a nanny and made me cancel on her the day before. I have parent burnout and I was looking forward to a break. I am so sad 💔