New sibling worries!…
I’m a “step” mom to a 12 yr old girl who i have been fully active and close w her since she was 4.5 yrs old. Bm is still in the picture and we have 50/50. So I have always felt like and just refereed to her as my daughter and not even stepdaughter and she has called me the same just mom and not stepmom. This was all natural from us by choice mutually between my “step” daughter and I. So now I’m 6 weeks pregnant w a sibling for her and she doesn’t know yet. We wanna wait till end of first trimester to tell her for obvious reasons…. Now the real issue is how I’m feeling abt it… my biggest fear even before getting pregnant is that when we would have more kids, that my first baby (“step” daughter) would feel like it’s different and like my other babies I love my JUST bc I birthed them and not her… she looks JUST like her dad and nothing like me at all. She is dirty blonde like her dad and I’m Latina and mixed…. Nothing wrong w that at all. but it just all adds into it. I’m worried abt how she may feel like replaced for my by her new sibling, and especially since ik her bio mom and others will put something like this in her head and feed here these lies that make her feel replaced (either intentionally or unintentionally). And my other fear is maybe it’s true tho?!…. Everyone has always told me “oh! It will be sooo different tho once you’re, you know, a REAL mom. And you have YOUR OWN kid.”… and that would pmo so much bc I do everything and I AM a real mom and she IS my own kid. Not blood but we are so close it feels like sometimes I forget I didn’t carry and birth her myself! And sometimes she forgets too tbh lol. My point is, I would do anything for my baby girl now. And I don’t want anyone making her feel, me feel, or trying to convince us otherwise. Have any other women been thru something like this?! Any advice is helpful pls… I’m having a really hard time when I should be happy and excited to have another child.
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You're having your first child, regardless of whether your partner already has a child from a previous relationship. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but here in the U.S., people tend to embrace the idea of blended families, which can work in some situations. However, realistically and biologically, you only have one child of your own. Of course, you can be kind to your partner's other child and encourage a relationship between the siblings, but that doesn't mean you have to see yourself as having two children. That's just my opinion. Enjoy your pregnancy 🥰
It's natural for her to feel jealous and she will need time to adjust but sometimes kids take on more a parental role when they are older a just bond right away , keeping her included in stuff asking for her help maybe to hold , hand over diapers, help bathe baby etc. and trust me I get it that you feel like she's your daughter but people are right...it is very different when you have your own. You don't even know true love till you have a baby! Yes you can love a man, love your parents love a sibling and a step child BUT when you have a baby it's a whole knew feeling you've never felt before!
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I’m a “step” mom to a 12 yr old girl who i have been fully active and close w her since she was 4.5 yrs old. Bm is still in the picture and we have 50/50. So I have always felt like and just refereed to her as my daughter and not even stepdaughter and she has called me the same just mom and not stepmom. This was all natural from us by choice mutually between my “step” daughter and I. So now I’m 6 weeks pregnant w a sibling for her and she doesn’t know yet. We wanna wait till end of first trimester to tell her for obvious reasons…. Now the real issue is how I’m feeling abt it… my biggest fear even before getting pregnant is that when we would have more kids, that my first baby (“step” daughter) would feel like it’s different and like my other babies I love my JUST bc I birthed them and not her… she looks JUST like her dad and nothing like me at all. She is dirty blonde like her dad and I’m Latina and mixed…. Nothing wrong w that at all. but it just all adds into it. I’m worried abt how she may feel like replaced for my by her new sibling, and especially since ik her bio mom and others will put something like this in her head and feed here these lies that make her feel replaced (either intentionally or unintentionally). And my other fear is maybe it’s true tho?!…. Everyone has always told me “oh! It will be sooo different tho once you’re, you know, a REAL mom. And you have YOUR OWN kid.”… and that would pmo so much bc I do everything and I AM a real mom and she IS my own kid. Not blood but we are so close it feels like sometimes I forget I didn’t carry and birth her myself! And sometimes she forgets too tbh lol. My point is, I would do anything for my baby girl now. And I don’t want anyone making her feel, me feel, or trying to convince us otherwise. Have any other women been thru something like this?! Any advice is helpful pls… I’m having a really hard time when I should be happy and excited to have another child.
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