Help and honest advice needed

I mean I see both sides. But if you want it and he doesn’t get another bed lol neither of you can force the other to do it you have to come to an agreement amongst yourselves

100% agree with you!! I did it once or twice with my 1 year old 14 years ago and never done it again. She turned out to be an amazing sleeper.

I never knew what it done to the brain chemistry. I don’t understand how anyone can allow a baby to get in such a state out of choice and leave it. When they’re a toddler or couple of years older there maybe different grounds for doing so but not a baby. No way. That baby needs comfort and soothing. It has no idea what’s happening all it understands is it is abandoned and it’s scary. They only fall asleep then after pure exhaustion not because it’s “learnt”. In no other situation would anyone leave a baby to “cry it out”. You will reap the rewards of a calm bedtime when they’re a toddler if they understand it’s not a bad thing.

Tell him to watch the podcast video - Diary of a CEO with Eric Komisar. Hope yous find resolve but I do think he needs reminding it’s really a short time frame you will blink and it’s gone 🩷

In my opinion, sleep training/ cry it out are just downright abusive. They alter the make up of the brain and I’m sure I read that it can actually make baby more prone to anxiety/ depression in teen/ adult years. Baby doesn’t learn to sleep through - they learn to not cry. If a baby is crying it’s because they need something!

And yes my 1 year old is a fantastic sleeper - she just occasionally needs help putting herself back to sleep.

Babies learning to self settle is a developmental milestone, some learn it a matter of weeks after birth yet with some it can take a few years and that’s okay.

Check out The Beyond Sleep Training Project on Facebook

So absolutely no judgment, I’m supportive of all moms and their choices for their children. We’re all doing our best!
Just some info about the cry it out method. (I studied child psychology btw)
1. A baby up until about two can’t make the conscious decision to cry or not it is a natural biological response to communicate to the mother that they are in need or in pain
2. Bc it’s not their decision. It has nothing to do with being spoiled or throwing a tantrum or anything like that.
3. and the reason that the child cries less after practicing this method for a while is because brain concludes it’s ineffective and stop sending the signal to cry. It’s not because they don’t need anything anymore. Their brain just stops sending the signal to cry when they need something.
I personally don’t agree with it because it goes against what’s natural. And because that’s the only way a baby can communicate if they stop crying then when they need something, there’s no way for them to let you know.

Cry it out is an archaic and abusive method introduced by two 'men' who also suggested not to kiss or cuddle our babies. This was institutionallized by US Dept of Labour (keyword being Labour) quite obviously to bring the female workforce back to work as babies rely less and less on mothers and on comfort from parents. You are absolutely right in thinking this is wrong, please stick to your decision and try to educate your husband on this too. There are several ways to make sleeping comfortable for parents whilst co-sleeping ( like adding crib as a next to me extension hack) and anyway time will fly. Our babies need us right now.