I just wish people stop asking me if I am working

Like when I met other mums at my child’s (17 month old) nursery and one of the first questions they asked me were ‘Are you working? FT or PT? Are you living in flats or house?

I don’t have family nearby to help with childcare. Am I not allowed to use a nursery because I don’t have a job? I actually desperately want to go back to full time work and hate being SAHM. I have been using this time to work and submit job applications but no luck yet. We’re not eligible for UC btw, child’s dad work long stressful hours, the nursery fees were paid directly out from his salary and we are still dealing with lots of nursery illnesses.

17 month old is a difficult age to handle with all the tantrums, screaming and poor sleep. Sending him to nursery is the only thing that helped me and better for his development. I just wish other mums could stop asking this question about my career or living condition. It’s like doing background checks on me and made me feel guilty for using nursery. I feel like I need to lie so my child is worthy enough to use a nursery for early education and socialisation.

There was one time I saw a post somewhere saying ‘If you send your child to a nursery and not working, you are not sahm, you are a stay at home NOTHING’. I have to post this anonymously.

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I think they're just questions people ask to get to know someone.

And posts like that mean nothing I wouldn't listen to them. My partner is a stay at home dad and our 3 year old has been going to nursery for nearly 2 years because he enjoys it and needs the education they can give. ❤️

Don't let these comments get to you! Sometimes I have the feeling nobody judges you that hard like other moms...and that a special type of moms need this judgement and stupid comments to make them feel better, because apparently THEY can handle everything perfectly.
As you said, nursury benefits your child, you're trying to get a job. You're doing great. Screw them!

Like you said you are sending your baby to nursery for their development, that's a positive thing. And you are still a stay at home mum regardless because you still are preparing things at home while baby at nursery

What’s the difference in a sahm mom whose baby is in daycare vs public school during the day?

Your child is somewhere safe being educated and it works for you all. That’s what matters. You wouldn’t believe how many moms complain about juggling work and their kid’s school when their kid has early pick ups, field trips, acts out, needs homework help…

It may be how they get to know you for real, but it always comes off judgy. Especially the looks when you say you aren’t working yet, regardless of looking. Sometimes I’d ask, “why do you know who’s hiring?” Bc they ask, you answer, then they stare at you with no other comments. Like you started this conversation lol

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Solids ☹️

I know I shouldn't be, but I am so so nervous to start full on solid foods for my 7 month old, we've been doing purees and mashed foods with texture, but doing baby lead weening and letting him just go at it makes me so nervous, I know his body is built to avoid choking and I know the difference between choking and gagging but I still can't push it down. I've talked to his pediatrician and they say to just follow his lead so I have been, but if anyone has any advice on what they started with as more full solid (obviously soft/easily mashed) foods, I'd love to hear it. Please no judgement or passive aggressive comments. I'm beating myself up enough, just genuine supportive advice please 🥺🙏🏾 thank you

How many times a day are you feeding your little one solids/purees?

Social media has me thinking it should be 3 meals a day, I’ve even seen clips of babies eating steak and all sorts. I don’t know where I’d find the time! Also, I’m giving my baby mash but the finger foods still make me nervous!

Need to vent. Omg.

Omg. My sons father left back to his ex wife two weeks after my son got out the NICU. I was shattered. Obviously, picked myself up and got a job to take care of my shiii… I met a person who I did NOT want to be with. Primarily because of his status in society or however my parents made it seem. This person can be somebody you don’t want to have bad blood with as well. And I met them at a low point too.. And then.. I don’t know guys. I’m living with this person providing them with assistance to get their life back & they’re helping me pay bills & be a SAHM. Which is .. cool right? But as I read everybody’s .. posts here .. I feel I might experience primarily negative feedback.. I think I’m in way over my head. But it was worse when it was my son & I only. I had constant anxiety, always forgetting to eat, barely knowing what sleep was, a shower? Forget about it! Not to mention, it’s not like … I’m completely over my sons father (which this person & I have talked about before) but I can confidently say I never want to be with somebody who basically left me for dead. But I don’t want to be with anybody .. but then I can’t be home and raising my kid unless I have somebody bringing in the bacon… so like … THEN when I was working and had some family help, they overstepped and talked down on me a LOT. My kid was NOT respecting me as an authority figure. He’s beginning to. My relationship with my son also began to decline around this time. This person being in my life makes things smoother & easier in every sense of the word but yet, I still feel like I did the wrong thing. I get side eyed. I get told I moved on too quick & everything is too quick & I fully fuc**** agree … but my sons father left me for dead .. why do I feel so weird about allowing another person to help me put it back together? And is it even me? Or am I letting other people cloud my judgement? After my sons father did what he did, I’m scared that .. my judgement is so bad .. that I’m missing something here. I can even tell if I’m putting up with too much because there’s been a bit of drama but again my day to day is so much easier now .. I have no idea what I’m doing & I just wish I had literally any human being to talk to that won’t judge me and would actually give me sound advice that makes sense!!

Wwyd?

I have drafted up a message to send to his uncle because this isnt the first and it isnt the last time for sure I know it will happen,
Basically he just comes by WITHOUT any notice, no text, no call and asks where my partner is even if we are having a family day out or just relaxing as i have started to work full time again.
Basically he came round today,I thought oh its a parcel as its almost my sons bday, no its was his uncle,I got no text,no call
As soon as i answered the door he asks ' oh is roma in?' No hello to me just that I said hes resting from a night shift could you come by later? He said it'll only be five minutes its been longer than that
My partner has never said cant not today he gets me to say he cant when its his uncle im just annoyed as it just keeps happening.
What do I do?