Runnin’ on coffee, Netflix, and the F Bomb

Mini rant about my annoyance with my otherwise amazing husband today. 🤣😣🤦🏼‍♀️

Had 5 thing son my to do list for today.

Woke up at 4 am to nurse and pump. Told my husband the night before we needed to leave the house by 9am ...10am at the absolute latest so we could get everything done today as we can't leave the house the next 2 weekends (stupid pest control and plumbing work)

Husband didn't wake up till 10 am...

I had baby and myself ready in an hour...(both dressed, makeup done, diaper bag ready, diaper changes and baby nursed, even had a coffee) Ready to go at 9am

Husband took 2 hours to get ready between using the bathroom,showering, shaving, and sitting on reddit 🤦🏼‍♀️ was "ready" at 12pm

By the time we were all ready the baby was hungry again. Nursed her, changed her diaper. Tell husband to load her into the car...all of a sudden he isn't ready to leave?! He suddenly found returns and shipments he HAD to do today.

Didn't leave the house till 3 pm! I got 1 of the 5 things on my to do list done...And it was the one thing that wasn't important to get done😠 funny part is that because he delayed us so much the ups was closed and he couldn't do his oh so important returns

Overall my husband is amazing...but let there be a schedule for the day and it's like he becomes the world's slowest man!

He literally made me late to my own Induction with my daughter!! (That day we were up at 5am and didn't have to be to the hospital till8:30am...we arrived at 9:30am😣

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circumcision

are we circumcising our boys? or leaving that to dad?

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Do men really enjoy fellatio?

Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

Mini rant about my annoyance with my otherwise amazing husband today. 🤣😣🤦🏼‍♀️

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I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

Do men really enjoy fellatio?

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