NSPCC call...

Just had a call from a safe guarding company who were informed by NSPCC that my 16 year old had emailed them about her home life and how she was struggling mentally with how her dad treats her and how dismissive I am of her feelings and needs. I have never been so embarrassed, upset, confused and felt like such a failure in all my life. She never talks to me, when I ask her about things she clams up and I feel like every decision I've ever made has been the wrong one. I wish I could change some of the things in the past, but everything I do is try and better the lives of my children, for their future. But this has completely knocked me sideways. I know we need to sit down and talk about this, and we will either tonight or tomorrow, but I feel like this will change the way I feel about her forever.

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Oh no, I’m so sorry!! When I get stuck in a negative pattern with my son I start writing down ANY positive thing about him. Can be super simple, like he brought a dish to the kitchen from his bedroom! 😜 It helps me looking for good things and to interact with him in more positive ways!! Sending you a hug! 🤗

It won’t change how you feel about her forever, you are just in shock, I had a call from my daughter’s school back in January, be glad she reached out; use this as a starting point. Tell her that you want to help her and support her, tell her how much you love her and you know you might make mistakes sometimes but you are trying and you want her to feel she can be honest with you. Ask her to explain what she wrote in her email. Stay calm even if she gets upset, angry whatever, don’t make it about how you feel, keep the focus on her.

Does her Dad live with you? Can you see an issue in their relationship? If not ask her what would she like to be different. Obviously you have to be a parent, there’s still going to be rules but there will probably be something you can work on to make her feel listened to.

I agree. I know its a shock she went behind your back but most teenagers dont talk to their parents. She reached out thats the most important thing. May I suggest family therapy maybe just you and her at first. I also have a teenage daughter thats going through a hard time, alot of us moms just forget to listen. May i suggest a venting session with no judgement. Where she can vent. I know this hurts mamas but you're doing great, you're still there and you're still showing up. Maybe have a talk with dad once you find out the issue there

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