Relationship
Mamas, one of the fights I had with my husband, he told me he never will let me leave e with my baby because he said I donāt responsibility. Iām from another country and heās American. We are okay now, but his phrase itās in my head, because if anything happen, he can take my baby away !! Thatās isnāt fucked up ? Should I just forgive and see what will happen ?
Low mood and identity crisis
I'm 12 weeks PP with my second and I'm starting to struggle a bit emotionally.
I have a great husband who is incredibly supportive, but we've been bickering a lot recently amongst managing 2 under 2, and I don't feel very close with him right now. I have no friends, and i rarely see my family due to distance and them working full time, and even when they do visit it's just a polite catch up, I don't really feel close with them anymore. I see other people I know out doing things, going for drinks or going on days out or trips away or spending time with people, and I don't do any of that, literally, nothing. I've tried mum and baby groups but everyone already seems to be friends and I find it uncomfortable inserting myself into preexisting friendships.
I feel completely disconnected from the rest of the world, and very lonely.
I love my children so much and I love being their mother, and I'm functioning day to day just fine. I keep myself presentable, I get outside to exercise, I eat well, I care for my children and maintain the house. But that's all I am. I just seem to exist for this at the moment and nothing else. I feel completely paused or in limbo, idk. Im exhausted so I'm often stressed and overstimulated and frustrated, and I do sometimes question if I'm a good wife or mother, or even a good person if I can't seem to make any friends.
Does anyone else feel this way? I don't think it's depression, it feels very situational, but it's just a struggle right now. I feel quite down and lost about it. While I'm incredibly grateful for my life and my beautiful children and husband, right now, apart from when I see my children happy and smiling, I wouldn't say I'm really enjoying life, I'm just getting through it. At the same time, it doesn't seem serious enough to actually share with anyone else, it would feel too dramatic, certainly not anyone professional. I don't feel close enough to anyone to talk to about this, really. I guess this might help, just sharing some experiences here.
Husband is my only friend
Hi, this may be slightly long because Iām known to waffle so apologies in advance!!
Does anyone else feel like their husband/spouse is their only friend?
Before meeting my husband I had so many friends, busy doing fun things with the gals etc. I fully know when you get into a new relationship you tend to spend less time with your friends, but you find the balance. Everything was great, he saw his friends and I saw mine.
Slowly, as the relationship progressed, my friends seemed to disappear. Iād make the effort to keep in touch/plan meets ups (all while having two children and a full on job). I recognised when I started to become distant and would reach back out, and try to rekindle friendships. Iām very much a āweāre all adults with lives, I donāt need to talk to you every day to know weāre still friendsā.
Since getting married, Iāve gone from a handful of friends to none. It feels like unless I reach out first, I will never hear from them again. Some friends are also in marriages, but others live a different life to me eg no children, single etc and on my part I have no issue with that and understand weāre in different chapters but thatās okay.
Itās my birthday tomorrow and no one has asked if Iād like to do anything. My husband planned childcare and planned to take me out. But now heās unwell, so have cancelled. Itās just hit me that I literally have no one other than my husband. Iām the type of friend that goes all out, I plan friends birthdays, baby showers, celebrate their wins. Maybe Iām doing too much and my expectations are too high because I know thatās what Iād do for someone else. So when no one does it for me, Iām left disappointed and thatās a me issue, not a them issue.
I love my husband with all my heart, but Iām starting to envy him. He has a life, he still sees his friends while Iām either at work or looking after the children. And itās not because he wouldnāt āletā me or anything like that. Heās constantly encouraging me to go out whilst he stays home with the children. It simply is that unless I go and do something alone, I just donāt have anyone to do anything with.
Iām not sure what the point of this post is, other than another birthday is here and Iām sat just crying about the fact that I canāt wait until itās over.
I love being a mum, and I love being a wifeā¦ but I wish there was a version of me that wasnāt just that.
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