Low mood and identity crisis

I'm 12 weeks PP with my second and I'm starting to struggle a bit emotionally.
I have a great husband who is incredibly supportive, but we've been bickering a lot recently amongst managing 2 under 2, and I don't feel very close with him right now. I have no friends, and i rarely see my family due to distance and them working full time, and even when they do visit it's just a polite catch up, I don't really feel close with them anymore. I see other people I know out doing things, going for drinks or going on days out or trips away or spending time with people, and I don't do any of that, literally, nothing. I've tried mum and baby groups but everyone already seems to be friends and I find it uncomfortable inserting myself into preexisting friendships.
I feel completely disconnected from the rest of the world, and very lonely.
I love my children so much and I love being their mother, and I'm functioning day to day just fine. I keep myself presentable, I get outside to exercise, I eat well, I care for my children and maintain the house. But that's all I am. I just seem to exist for this at the moment and nothing else. I feel completely paused or in limbo, idk. Im exhausted so I'm often stressed and overstimulated and frustrated, and I do sometimes question if I'm a good wife or mother, or even a good person if I can't seem to make any friends.
Does anyone else feel this way? I don't think it's depression, it feels very situational, but it's just a struggle right now. I feel quite down and lost about it. While I'm incredibly grateful for my life and my beautiful children and husband, right now, apart from when I see my children happy and smiling, I wouldn't say I'm really enjoying life, I'm just getting through it. At the same time, it doesn't seem serious enough to actually share with anyone else, it would feel too dramatic, certainly not anyone professional. I don't feel close enough to anyone to talk to about this, really. I guess this might help, just sharing some experiences here.

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Hey! I’m also 12 weeks PP and had a little cry to my husband last night because, my exact words were, I feel like I’m having an identity crisis! Much of what you have said resonates with me. I think alot of it is down to loneliness and although I’m so busy all day every day with two little ones, I almost have too much time to think/doubt/question myself because there’s nobody else to talk to. Feel free to message me if you want to chat 🩷

Are we the same person??? This is exactly how I feel right now, same situation and everything. 🥺 I got my HV to refer me to the perinatal team and I have a video call with them soon

Feel free to message me lovely and we can go through this together 🤍 x

This is exactly how I felt after I had my first for a long time. It wasn’t until I was out the other side I recognised I had ppd/ppa. I did exactly what you’re doing by minimising how I felt and assuring myself it wasn’t bad enough etc and it was only when I felt normal again that I could see it in hindsight. Please talk to your gp about low mood. You are an amazing wife and amazing mother, you wouldn’t care if you weren’t. I hope you feel better soon.

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