Low mood and identity crisis

I'm 12 weeks PP with my second and I'm starting to struggle a bit emotionally.
I have a great husband who is incredibly supportive, but we've been bickering a lot recently amongst managing 2 under 2, and I don't feel very close with him right now. I have no friends, and i rarely see my family due to distance and them working full time, and even when they do visit it's just a polite catch up, I don't really feel close with them anymore. I see other people I know out doing things, going for drinks or going on days out or trips away or spending time with people, and I don't do any of that, literally, nothing. I've tried mum and baby groups but everyone already seems to be friends and I find it uncomfortable inserting myself into preexisting friendships.
I feel completely disconnected from the rest of the world, and very lonely.
I love my children so much and I love being their mother, and I'm functioning day to day just fine. I keep myself presentable, I get outside to exercise, I eat well, I care for my children and maintain the house. But that's all I am. I just seem to exist for this at the moment and nothing else. I feel completely paused or in limbo, idk. Im exhausted so I'm often stressed and overstimulated and frustrated, and I do sometimes question if I'm a good wife or mother, or even a good person if I can't seem to make any friends.
Does anyone else feel this way? I don't think it's depression, it feels very situational, but it's just a struggle right now. I feel quite down and lost about it. While I'm incredibly grateful for my life and my beautiful children and husband, right now, apart from when I see my children happy and smiling, I wouldn't say I'm really enjoying life, I'm just getting through it. At the same time, it doesn't seem serious enough to actually share with anyone else, it would feel too dramatic, certainly not anyone professional. I don't feel close enough to anyone to talk to about this, really. I guess this might help, just sharing some experiences here.

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Are we the same person??? This is exactly how I feel right now, same situation and everything. 🥺 I got my HV to refer me to the perinatal team and I have a video call with them soon

Feel free to message me lovely and we can go through this together 🤍 x

This is exactly how I felt after I had my first for a long time. It wasn’t until I was out the other side I recognised I had ppd/ppa. I did exactly what you’re doing by minimising how I felt and assuring myself it wasn’t bad enough etc and it was only when I felt normal again that I could see it in hindsight. Please talk to your gp about low mood. You are an amazing wife and amazing mother, you wouldn’t care if you weren’t. I hope you feel better soon.

8 weeks PP with my second and feel exactly the same. My 8 week old cries all day and we can’t see to bond (doesn’t help she wasn’t planned in the first place) I feel I’m failing my 3 year old and husband and have felt rage like I have never felt before.

I know many may not agree but my doctor has put me on antidepressants which help numb things until things get easier. Might be worth a try? I have also been referred to a mental health team.
I wouldn’t say you are being dramatic, you are just going through a tough time…motherhood does that to the strongest of people.

I would love to help with the friend side of things but I’m exactly the same! Keep myself to myself at groups and my pre baby friends are working.

Now the weather is getting better going out and getting fresh air and sun should help make you feel a bit fresher for a short period of time. I know it does for me.

Feel free to message me if you want to x

Thank you girls, it's been really reassuring to know that others have felt the same way. I'm hoping it's just a season that will pass as the kids start to get a bit older and the days get warmer and brighter.
I had a good, therapeutic meltdown to my husband last night about it all and I do feel a bit better today (albeit a bit silly and overdramatic but Ive learned that I need to stop minimising how I'm feeling) xx

Also really struggling with identity as someone who loves having clean hair and feeling put together, I feel like Shrek atm🤣🤣 I’m trying to do little things like dyeing my brows and wearing a nice outfit (even if it’s just a matching jogger set lol) and same with partner it’s really hard but this is all temporary is what I’m telling myself and it’ll get easier xx

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