Could really use prayer and potentially a friend. I'm so far from where I need to be in my walk with Christ.. I haven't been praying or reading or anything, even tho I'm in a dire situation. I don't feel close to Him,.

I know it's oppression, I know it's Satan, I know it's demons etc. And I know I have authority over them thru the name of Jesus, but I can barely keep myself afloat. My mom and I were talking about gifts, hers is healing. I don't know what mine is, but she says it's whatever you've always been drawn to, and I've always been drawn to spiritual warfare. My mom thinks I have a warriors spirit, but I'm so shy and timid, I just don't see how that's possible. I have only one coll story relating to warfare I can think of where I was bold and full of the holy spirit. She thinks the reason I'm oppressed is because Satan is trying to prevent me from discovering my gift, or God is using it to strengthen me and help me learn it. Idk what to think anymore. I feel worthless all of the time, especially lately. I don't see a purpose or meaning in my life, except for my daughter. How am I going to make sure she is right with God when I'm not even right with him myself? I feel like I'm going to fail her. I hate waking up. I'm not s**cidal, I just wish I could stay in bed all day. I would if I didn't have her. I want to be an example to her, but I'm not. I'm not cut out to be a Christian.. I'm spiritually dead