Started my healing journey

Hello!
I recently had a tragedy, i had a missed miscarriage. Essentially my baby died but i was still pregnant and needed medication to complete the miscarriage.
It was hard but i had support. This experience made me realize that i desperately need to take better care of myself.
Intentionally or not, i was raised to put everyone else's needs above my own. I have classic oldest daughter syndrome. I was just as much a parent to my siblings as i was a sister.
Been trying to get into my divine feminine energy because I've been in survival mode for most of my life. Part of me really needs to live a softer life and learn to be taken care of a bit. Part of achieving that goal means getting in touch with my emotions, which as mentioned earlier, i have a habit of either hiding or suppressing.
I've been doing inner child work, journaling, talking to a therapist etc. Would be cool to make some friends who maybe i can talk to who get it. My poor husband can only handle so much of my childhood trauma at a time. 😁
He's doing a good job tho and stepping up a bit more so i can rest and have time for selfcare.
Attached are some of the books I'm working through.

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Hey I never knew that was a thing, " Classic oldest daughter syndrome as I'm the eldest child of 11.....

These look like some amazing books thanks for sharing 💗 Happy New Year's

Yup. Being the oldest daughter often comes with being parentified. Essentially forced into a parenting role for your siblings. Even more so if the family is dysfunctional or both parents are working all the time. If parents are conscious about it and careful not to put too much responsibility on their oldest then it can be avoided, but its very common. Since parentified big sisters are so functional on paper, they don't deal with the trauma until later in life cuz they are so good at running on empty.

If its really bad, they can be forced into a parentified role for their parent too.

https://youtu.be/iK15ZXz3q9o

you spoke right to me gee, if you don't mind having me as a friend and continue to share your journey with healing... As again like I said I'm the eldest daughter of 11

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