Boyfriend didn’t use condom when asked

I couldn’t read and not say anything!! He’s totally out of order for that! I would feel gross to if my partner came all over me. You should definitely tell him how this made you feel and explain he’s really disrespecting you for not wearing a condom when he knows you need to for your own mental health, sending you a big virtual hug xx

This isn't okay at all. You made yourself very clear and he ignored your wishes.

I completely understand how sometimes we're so surprised by something that we freeze and cannot react on time. We prefer to pretend for a while that something did not happen and just don't want to spoil the mood. As you sit and reflect later on you more and more realise what happen was wrong and that you and him both violated your boundaries. What you need to do is talk to him and acknowledge that fact you didn't stop him, explain why you think it happened and proceed to ask that this doesn't ever repeat again. Be very calm and collected when you say all that, you're completely in the right - it's just that men mostly because men mostly understand when we are rational, calm and explain things clearly. He was wrong to do what he did for sure but I can't help but understand his confusion too as men are used to us saying no at first and then giving in - sometimes just for show and play, sometimes because indeed during foreplay we change our mind because gradually we start to get aroused and sometimes we are

People pleasers and want to avoid conflict and don't want to reject them. All this is too complicated for their simple mind so they just think we simply changed our mind and concent was given. The truth is it is our responsibility to learn to be more clear with them but in order for this to happen we need to be clear with ourselves.

So next time you would be a bit more familiar with where you stand, you would have had this conversion prior and if he ignores your wish you can then proceed and conclude he's an asshole. But chances are he's not, he was just very aroused at the time and relieved you 'changed your mind' somehow.

This is sexual assault. He should of respected you and used something and if he didn’t want to then he shouldn’t of had sex.
You not stopping it is not your fault, like you said, you were taken back by it.

If you’re not wanting to get pregnant then I would definitely reach out for some emergency contraception.

I’m so sorry that you’ve been put in this position.

I'm sorry lovely but he is a mullion percent in the wrong. It's your body. You said to use condoms. I would sit him down amd have a conversation with him about it. It's very easy to get caught up in the moment because you don't know what to say😍

you ALWAYS have the right to be upset about your bodily autonomy being disregarded & your boundaries being disrespected. what he did is literally considered sexual assault & i’m sorry that you had to go through that with someone you’re meant to trust. don’t be afraid to reach out for support if you think you need it! stay safe 🫶🏾

Legally, this is actually assault

Agreed, I'm so sorry but this is definitely assault.

And it's one of the most vulnerable situations you can be in with another person, so if he could cross this boundary, to be honest I would be questioning the relationship, because this disregard for your needs is unacceptable.

You deserve someone who will listen to you, who you can trust completely, who would never push past your very clear boundaries.🫶🏻

You absolutely have the right to be upset. This is a huge violation of trust and your boundaries and as others have said it’s a type of sexual assault. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I would really be questioning the relationship and getting some emergency contraception arranged just in case. His wants don’t override your very clearly stated boundaries and it’s disgusting that he would think this is acceptable behaviour.

You were raped / sexually assaulted. You have every right to feel however you feel.
I'm so sorry this happened

Assuming you're in the UK, you can speak with rape crisis if you'd like some support x

Everyone saying her partner raped her, you guys don't know the full story and are fueling this further as if this can't ever happen to you and your partner who obviously prefers not to wear a condom (surprise surprise) and says that and it's her responsibility to counter and ask him to stop. How is he supposed to know that she just didn't decide it's okay to skip the condom and go with it. This happens to so many people, doesn't mean it's rape. Yes, she felt bad but unless she expresses it how is he supposed to know how she feels inside. We might be ruining a good relationship and a FAMILY with such extreme conclusions. More information is needed. He could be a bad horrible person but could be a normal guy too. Labeling someone as a rapist is serious!

no you’re right, it’s not rape… but it is sexual assault. I pray to god you’re never in a position you don’t feel able to or comfortable enough to stop what is happening when you’ve already made your decision clear at the beginning. I also pray you never have a daughter that is in this situation either.

I've been in her situation, I've been also in a much worse situation and can clearly make the difference and know when I'm a victim and when I failed to express my will properly. I learned from this and took responsibility to be vocal and not repeat it, it's empowering.
Also creating rifts between men and women without all details is wrong and leads to the collapse of society. More information is needed to judge.

not everyone can be vocal. She clearly stated that she wanted him to use a condom. He said no and continued to have sex with her. She was taken back by it, froze, and didn’t know what to do so went with it.
This is not okay and she has been assaulted. We could argue this until the cows came home but at the end of the day, based off of the information provided, he is in the wrong!!!

People learn best through crisis, so learning to be vocal would be the only positive thing from this experience. He is definitely in the wrong, no doubt but we don't know whether he would have proceeded had he known how she felt 'afterwards'. Which is also impossible unless he reads both minds and can tell the future. So 'assault' is an exaggeration. She just told him where the condoms are, he said he doesn't want condoms. She said nothing which could be interpreted as consent. His fault is that he acted in a selfish manner and is emotionally unintelligent as he should know to protect her from unwanted pregnancy based on their traumatic experience. Perhaps they could work this out by communicating and he could be a good man and father to her child which is now highly unlikely if she's persuaded by the internet that her partner is a monster without knowing them at all.
May our daughters and sons never go through such situations. 🙏