Bad friendships after baby
I’ve had a long distance friendship since 2008 (met at a university study abroad program) and we’ve visited each other at least once a year, traveled together, she met my entire family. We were close. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding 4 years ago. She was one of the first I told I was pregnant.
I invited her to my baby shower, which she couldn’t make, but she said she sent us a gift. I never received anything, which was fine (I honestly didn’t even realize it because life is chaotic a month before your due date).
When my son was born, we posted an announcement on Instagram which she commented “congrats guys!” And I never heard back from her.
I sent her a photo of us on Christmas to say merry Christmas. I texted her on her birthday months later, she text me on my birthday. But that’s it. She has never once asked how I’m adjusting to mom life or how my son is doing.
Am I being petty for refusing to reach out to her after all this? There’s been zero communication, even on social media. I don’t understand what changed besides me having a kid, or not thanking her for this gift she supposedly sent. I’ve just been super hurt that my entire world has changed with a baby, and my supposed best friend ghosted me.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
I had a best friend of 24 years. She came to my baby shower but only after I kept asking and asking if she was coming. When I had baby not alot of chatter and then babies christening I invited her she kept telling me she jad to check work. I stopped asking her but 3 days before tbe christening she called me and we was chatting away and I asked her what her plans were for the weekend. She told me that shes got it off and she's going out on tbe town. After the christening I messaged her and said thanks for coming. She instantly messages back that she picked up an extra shift. She ultimately chose not to come and. I was very close to making her a godmother.
Couple years passed and my mum passed and the night before she told me that. She hopes thst tomorrow ( my mums funeral) will take her mind off the fact that her and her ex have been split up a year. Weve had a few words bk n forth but since i had kids 4 years ago. I've seen her around 5 times. 0 times in the last 18 months
So sorry you were going through this.
I had a similar bit of not so nice behaviour from a very very long time friend, but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked her about it when she snubbed baby being born. It turned out her reasoning actually really wasn’t very nice, so we are no longer friends.
But I think maybe in this instance it’s worth giving her the benefit of the doubt and maybe reaching out and explaining you feel she’s been a little different, and asking if everything‘s okay with her. At least then you’ll know you’ve done everything you can. There might be something else going on potentially x
My guess is she’s struggling to get pregnant and it’s painful for her to be involved after you got pregnant. It’s not an excuse, but some people don’t handle this well.
Download the Peanut App
