Friends
Hi, I’m new here.. I’m a mom of 5 I’m 30 , just looking for a friend or friends who want to text , talk, vent, send memes music recipes etc , with my kids and job it’s hard for me to have friends or have time to do anything with actual people but I’ve been home alone with my newborn for a month tomorrow and I’m just really alone 😓
Unsupportive Partner causing Me Depressed
Been with BD for 6 years and every time we talk about marriage & family, he said he wanted all but just need to find the right time and arrange the wedding. Last year Nov, found out I’m pregnant. The first reaction he had is not excited (F, 38yo; M,43yo), but being avoidant for three days. After I had nonstop fights, he finally said he can’t have the baby, we need to have a proper wedding because it’s against his religion to have child before marriage. So he tried to trick me to have abortion to trade for a wedding/ring. Yet he did not buy any ring or plan anything for the wedding. I fell in deep depression during my entire first trimester, he barely met me until a business trip in April, he saw my bump started showing.
We never lived together, even after 6 years. Started in second trimester, he gave me a credit card to buy minimal baby stuff. I’m well financed with my job, so only used his card for big baby gears. And he comes to see me once a week max.
He pretends he cares about me but never asked about baby stuff directly. He FaceTime me every day to talk about nonsense stuff about friends and family, pretending nothing is wrong between us. My pregnancy depression and rage is out of proof. As a behavioral physician, he does absolutely nothing to help me but leave me in a dark place, and mock me for being mentally weak. Every time I start conversations about baby’s education, my delivery plan, a new house, he brushes the topics off and never follows through with any research.
I told him about the babymoon plan traveling to Mexico. He kept dodging the date and never confirmed. I’m going there alone in 2 days.
I’m so disgusted with his, ‘one foot in, one foot out’ attitude, nothing is important other than his own freedom and independence. He’s not ready for family and being a father.
My therapist kept pressuring me about what I want, but as an eastern Asian, I think more of my child’s need than my own at this point. He does provide minimal financial support, and maybe he will give the baby some love. However I’m so disappointed in him and really have nothing left in this relationship.
Up till now, none of his family members know about the baby. I called his mother on my birthday and told her the truth. Other than that, none of his siblings knew about it and no one had reached out to me, even to say hi.
Im immigrant to this country and since dating him, lost touch with all my old party friends. Since pregnancy, I’m so depressed and sad, feel like the whole world is moving on except me. I don’t enjoy food, feel tired so easily, can’t exercise much due to fatigue, can’t fit in any cloths or shoes. No understands me.
Should I cut him off? I want a caring partner, looking at other girl moms enjoying pregnancy with family and husband, I feel like I’m a failure and super guilty for my daughter. I didn’t choose a good father and she will have tons of issues that not even her fault.
What should I do?
