I started hating my dog after having a baby

I know this is controversial but I just need to vent because it’s affecting my relationship with my partner.

I have a 4 month old boy and an 8 year old dog that we’ve had for 5 years. Before my baby was born, I loved my dog very much. Whenever people talked about their kids, I would talk about her like she was my child.

But I started feeling differently about her once I became pregnant and those feelings became more negative shortly after giving birth. She was always an anxious dog so she would bark and lunge at other dogs during walks, and she’s very strong so walking her is not pleasant at all. Despite all that, I still loved her. Now that I have a baby, having her around has been annoying. Granted, my partner does everything for her - the walking and feeding. But her barking has been frustrating, especially when I have such a difficult time getting my baby to sleep with hours of holding him in the dark, only to be undone by her barking. And we recently purchased a $200 rug that my partner insisted we get for the kitchen. Not long after putting it down, the dog (who is supposed to be house-trained) started peeing all over it. It’s one of those stain resistant rugs so you can’t see the pee without a UV light. My partner couldn’t smell anything but I could. Because he couldn’t smell it, he kept saying he didn’t believe me, which offended me.

With all the barking and treating our house like it’s her bathroom, I just want to get rid of her. But my partner is appalled by how I’m feeling. I just keep picturing my baby learning to walk and crawl with dog pee everywhere and it frustrates me. I wonder if this feeling of resentment for my dog is just a postpartum thing that’s temporary or if it’s permanent. But this has become a point of contention, where I feel like having this dog prevents me from making a perfect, safe home for my baby. It also doesn’t help that my partner keeps calling my baby a mistake and resents him for being demanding.

So I don’t know- now I’m wondering where our relationship is going, especially since he proposed to me last summer but we don’t have a wedding date set, which is why it feels weird to call him my fiancé. It also feels weird that he’s siding with the dog and calls our baby a mistake. But I digress- I just want the dog to stop barking while the baby is sleeping and stop peeing inside the house 😭

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I totally understand! At the end of my pregnancy I was just really annoyed with my dogs all the time. Since having my baby I just am annoyed with every little thing with them, I find dog hair on my daughter and her toys all the time and it makes me so mad. We are in an apartment and they wrestle in the living room while my baby is laying down and jump around. When she’s sleeping they are making loud playing noises and knocking into things making a mess and waking her up. I am so over it and keep telling my boyfriend I want to get rid of them.

So hard dealing with a dog while having a baby - our girl is such a barker, and it always seems like just when I put the baby to bed she’ll start barking over something. We taught her the command “no barking”, where when she starts to bark we would crate train for fifteen minutes, until she got the hint and it’s helped immensely. What I would say is that this is a huge transition for your dog as well, and you’re the only mommy he knows. This craziness will pass, and your baby is going to have so much fun growing up with his fur baby. Patience mama, look up techniques for training a dog to not bark, and give it a go. Know that this will pass - you’re just exhausted. We’re all trying our best, and it’s okay to feel your feelings.

Girl it’s been rough and I also have felt the same way you do. For months I didn’t care about my dog but my mom and husband s convinced me that one day I will wake up and regret it and it will past. Plus we are getting her trained. Things should get better soon , so hang in there!

I can't read all of that at the moment but I wanted to comment on here that way I don't lose your post and will be reading it soon. I did however kind of scroll through and I seen something about your dog peeing I have a similar situation with my cat who I know hate since having My baby. I've gone through my whole life not knowing that female cats sprayed until now we even got her fixed and she still keeps peeing on everything. I feel bad to get rid of her but the first time she pees on anything that belongs to my baby she's a goner.

I am totally in the same boat as you 100%. I can't stand my dog and she is a wiener dog but her bark is so high pitched and she barks soon as I put my son to sleep and she doesn't listen to me showing me listens to my husband. So I know exactly how you feel...

Your baby is your priority. It makes sense to feel frustrated by your dog who is impacting your quality of life and possibly your baby’s. If I were you, I would rehome the animal.

Pretty sad animals always get pushed to the side. I would never do that regardless of the issues that my dog is having. That means me as its owner needs to do more training because obviously I lacked somewhere and now the dog is paying for it.

This is exactly why so many animals end up in shelters. I’ll be that unpopular opinion. I’m not gonna sugarcoat

The resentment is common and hopefully temporary. These classes and blogs with training pointers helped me get more comfortable with having my dog around the baby. https://www.dogmeetsbaby.expert/links
I was so protective and worried about germs before this.
Also, babies are naturally demanding. I would have an open and honest conversation with partner to ensure you and baby have the support you need during the fourth trimester and beyond.
If you feel emotionally abused or are physically abused at any time, I urge you to contact the national domestic violence helpline at 800-799-7233.
Good luck with navigating your new family during this brand new chapter of life mama. You got this!

in our community

Do you ever think some of your mom friends are ungrateful

I have a friend who has both sets of grandparents nearby and they watch their kids full-time for free while she and her husband works. Since her kids were born. One set of grandparents said they need a break and want to go on a month long cruise and they’re actually mad at the grandparents for “leaving them hanging”. Like excuse me? You have had kids for 4 years you need a back up plan and show gratitude for 4 years of free babysitting.
Some of us out her with zero help and they have the audacity.

Do you feel like your husband/ partner puts the same level of care into parenting, cooking, cleaning etc when it’s his “turn” in comparison to you?

I’m having such a hard time lately because it’s become so embarrassingly obvious that my husband just doesn’t care as much as I do. I feel like he compares himself to his own dad or other men in his life who walked out or do the absolute bare minimum so in his mind he’s excelling, and that watching his mom struggle as a single mom doing everything growing up has conditioned him to be almost blind to the labor of women like it’s just expected. I’ve talked to him about this multiple times and it will get better temporarily sometimes but not long at all

Am I tripping 🤔

My friend wants me to watch her daughter 3 days a week 430 to 630 I told her I need $20 every time I watch her because I have 5 kids I have health problems am I wrong ? She saying she don't got it so I feel like I shouldn't do it then is that bad?

Is my child delayed ?

Recently had parent evening for my child (4 in June) and the teacher said she is not where she should be she does not know her shapes, letters or numbers.

My child is able to show me where shapes are on a poster for example if I said find the rhombus she would find it however if I i said name it she couldn’t,

On a number line if I said “find number 4 she would find it” but she is not able to count to 4 correctly but she could show on her hands 80% of the time.

She can recognise letters around 15 correctly but will not say the alphabet.

The teacher also mentioned she doesn’t hold a pen correctly but I have seen her hold a pen with pincer grip and use them in both hands correctly.

I’ll post an image of what educational based supplies we have in the Comments please tell me if we can add anything 🙂

Visitors

How is everyone navigating visitors once baby has arrived? I’m due to be having a c-section so I really want a quiet recovery at home. I’ve had major abdominal surgery before, and the last thing I wanted were visitors! I’d like to say no visitors for at least a week (2 would be nice), but equally I don’t want to upset anyone. I know my family will understand, it’s my partners I’m more concerned about.

My in-laws live an hour away, so I can’t imagine they’ll be happy to pop in for a quick visit, and both my partners sisters are 3 hours away, so I’m sure they won’t want to drive all that way just to visit for an hour max. I also don’t want to be bombarded by guests all at once, but how can we prioritise one sister over another. They both have multiple kids, so it’ll be a lot all in one go!

I get very anxious and overwhelmed by social situations, and I imagine I’ll find it difficult with the hormone shifts after birth.

Advice?

I don’t feel like a good mom. I’m a mom but I don’t feel as present as I need to be. I have an addiction to my phone ever since my son passed. Growing up it’s how I distracted myself and it’s just gotten worse. I use to be on my phone every now and then before but now it’s constant almost. I still play with my toddler but I get bored easily and I don’t look forward to doing stuff. I’m a couch potato who scrolls. I hate it. I recognize it and I hate it. I don’t go out anymore unless needed besides outback. I don’t bake desserts anymore. I feel lazy. Yes I have a therapist but I never say what I need to when I’m there and I have to bring my toddler so it just doesn’t work out how I imagine.

I’m trying to be the best mom I can be but I struggle. I struggle so hard and at this point I am disappointed in myself because I imagined so much for our life and I can’t even be the mom I need to be. Even my mom who lived in the living room and didn’t play with us at least was a present mom. I checked out. I hate it.