Visitors

How is everyone navigating visitors once baby has arrived? I’m due to be having a c-section so I really want a quiet recovery at home. I’ve had major abdominal surgery before, and the last thing I wanted were visitors! I’d like to say no visitors for at least a week (2 would be nice), but equally I don’t want to upset anyone. I know my family will understand, it’s my partners I’m more concerned about.

My in-laws live an hour away, so I can’t imagine they’ll be happy to pop in for a quick visit, and both my partners sisters are 3 hours away, so I’m sure they won’t want to drive all that way just to visit for an hour max. I also don’t want to be bombarded by guests all at once, but how can we prioritise one sister over another. They both have multiple kids, so it’ll be a lot all in one go!

I get very anxious and overwhelmed by social situations, and I imagine I’ll find it difficult with the hormone shifts after birth.

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I would just try to manage expectations where you can! Tell them an hour max 2 because of recovery, if they aren’t happy thats on them not you! X

My family live an hour and will be coming over quite regularly I imagine from birth to help out. Then roughly a week later (7th April) my in-laws are driving 4 hours with my stepdaughter and they will stay in a hotel and my stepdaughter will be staying with us. Then at the end of April we are driving up to see everyone from my husbands side of the family. I love having everyone round and will be accepting alot more help than we did the first time. We still don't have a date for C section yet and I'm 38 weeks so they could be driving down a day after my due date (6th April) x

I've already told all our family that we will not be having visitors for at least a week if not two after baby is born, and basically they can like it or lump it.

With my first I told everyone that we wouldn’t be having visitors until we felt up to it - I didn’t specify a timeframe. Thankfully everyone respected that. We still FaceTimed family regularly and shared updates/pictures via WhatsApp. I ended up surprising myself and feeling more up to socialising than I expected so we did actually end up having visitors and going out to see people straight away.

This time round is very different, the people that have been part of our lives and shown up for us/been our village since our little boy has been born are the only ones that will be visiting the new baby.

With my first my parents did come
To the hospital as my mum was already in with me during labour. Me and my husband did decide not to Tell his family till the day after baby was born as his mum thinks she was intitled to be at the hospital so I told
The nurses at no point she can come in. (She doesn’t accept boundaries) she’s the last person I wanted, my husband stupidly told her we was about to go home
And who was there at the door waiting for us to arrive… his mum dad both set of nans and auntie and uncle… after we expressed we needed time to get used to being a family of 3, they all over stayed their welcome and his mum demanded photos of the three of us.. those photos now haunt me on how tired I looked I just wanted to go to bed and rest but no I had to entertain his whole family. My 2 day old baby was passed around pillar to post and I got told I was being too clingy. :(

This time around me and my husband have now decided we arnt telling his side baby is here for a week.

Id say have a chat with your husband and talk about recovery time so he can communicate that with his family.
Having a c section, you will need time to recover and less movements the better.
As this is my first baby, I don’t know how my body will react to recovering after and have made it clear with my husband the first month we will not have any visitors other than our immediate family as my mum and sisters will be helping me so it’s only fair his parents and brother can visit too. However I have made my expectations clear as to them helping themselves to whatever in the house as we will not be hosting as much as I am recovering my husband is also learning to be a first time father so our focus is our child and only our child.

in our community

Break time.

Being told I don’t need a break because he provides for me. All I asked is for some help. Something as simple as getting a two hour break. Not everyday but on days I’m really tired.

Outside of motherhood I’m a human and I find it insane that him taking breaks by going out and doing whatever he pleases it’s not a problem, me asking to get a few hours to myself is and that he is not obligated to take care of our child if he doesn’t feel like it.

I’ll let that sit here.

Is my boyfriend too traditional or selfish?

He says he gives 8 hours of his life to his job M-F and he’s tired of coming home to do things he doesn’t want to/be inconvenienced. He’s talking about watching our son while I go to the food pantry. I can’t take our son because it’s a lot for me as I’m 8 months pregnant. My son is 10 months pregnant.

He was raised in a traditional home where his mom would do everything for him and his dad would work. He never did the dishes, cooked, or did his own laundry. I know he expects the same from me. I am trying my best to give him that since I’m a SAHM but i’m not used to doing that. In my eyes we should be 50/50 or he could help out a little more.

We also have two pets that he barely takes care of. I’m stuck cleaning our cat’s litter box (even though i shouldn’t while pregnant) or else it won’t get done.

Struggling

All I see online or from friends is that they can’t put their babies down as they are clingers and constantly want their mums,
My baby is 8 weeks and when I try and comfort him he fusses until I put him down making me feel like I’m not his safe place or he even likes me and it’s making me feel like a useless mess

Being alone w/ baby

My son just turned 4 weeks today. I’ve been lucky enough to have my husband home for the first two weeks to help out. Once he went back to work, my mom took two weeks off to stay with me. She goes back to work tomorrow and I’ve been so nervous to have to spend the entire day with my newborn alone. He’s a good baby and I know what I’m doing for the most part but he cries alot and doesn’t like to be put down at all - especially for naps. It’s been nice to have another set of hands around to help out. Any advice or words of encouragement?

I want everyone’s opinion on what my husband said today

He wants me to up for disability so I have money that’s “mine and that I can use on stuff for me” I’m 28, I was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I’m a stay at home mom of 2 boys under 2, I take care of my step kids every other weekend ( kids
He had before we got together 9 and 12 years old) I cook every meal, do all the laundry, cleaning and pet care ( dog, 2 cats and a bearded dragon) I literally am the only reason he got through nursing school and graduated in May as an RN…..like should I be upset or
Sad that he thinks I should be on disability and it’s not “his money because he works” and “you need to have money that is yours for you”

7 month old meal ideas?

I have a 7 month old baby boy and I don’t want to keep giving him the jars of food whats everyone giving there babies just so I have some ideas because I’m completely cluless?