Do you feel like your husband/ partner puts the same level of care into parenting, cooking, cleaning etc when it’s his “turn” in comparison to you?

I’m having such a hard time lately because it’s become so embarrassingly obvious that my husband just doesn’t care as much as I do. I feel like he compares himself to his own dad or other men in his life who walked out or do the absolute bare minimum so in his mind he’s excelling, and that watching his mom struggle as a single mom doing everything growing up has conditioned him to be almost blind to the labor of women like it’s just expected. I’ve talked to him about this multiple times and it will get better temporarily sometimes but not long at all

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I love my husband so much that it still really hurts everytime he shows me how much he’s willing to sit back and watch me work myself to the bone and not help unless I explicitly ask for it at my wits end. I just wanted to go out to eat with my sister the other night but without all the kids, I took with the baby anyways because I know my husband wouldn’t want to watch her, and I made the older kids dinner first, and had asked my husband to wash their hair because school the next morning and he said he would, when I got home I asked him if he washed their hair he said yes. The next morning as I was doing their hair I could tell it wasn’t washed, they have curly hair so it’s easy to tell, tangled & felt so dry like the product had all been stripped out but not cleaned or leave in conditioner put back in so I asked them if daddy washed their hair they said no, that he told them to rinse their own hair but he didn’t touch it, so I had to spend an extra 45 minutes that morning doing hair

Then this MF had the audacity to say today “we should do some spring cleaning soon” and I almost lost it on him because I clean ALL DAY EVERY DAY and he’ll just be on his PlayStation while I buzz around the house for hours cleaning and watching the kids. I was like be my guest but don’t ever suggest “we” need to be doing it because I’m fricken exhausted from just doing the daily routine that I feel like I’m treading water and you’re sitting there in the boat watching me

If he's yoyoing from improving to regressing then there is a pattern that you are most likely contributing to... Sorry to put it bluntly... Men will put in the extra effort in order to feel better about their contributions, but if they end up still feeling like their contributions aren't valued they dip back to old ways ... We can of course argue till the cows come home that that's his responsibility to own, but at the end of the day, we all have our weaknesses and if there's something that we can support them with to get what we need from them, we have to own our role in the dynamic.

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Money in Marriage

Hi, has anyone got an advice? My husband and me are not best with money. Basically, all my husbands wage at the moment goes to bills, rent, his petrol and some loans we took out. He has some little leftover for groceries, subscriptions and stuff. All my wage is for the whole months groceries and any other spendings like new furniture, trips, clothes, etc.
I also started a new business so I get money from there (from clients) but it's not too predictable, for now it's going to groceries only.

Usually it goes that we live off my wage for half a month or a little more, I feel comfort and freedom and then my husband kind of reassures me that we can spend more because he will also have some money left and in the end I often find myself at the checkout with an empty bank account calling him to send me money or put money on the spending card and it's embarrassing and frustratibg. It happens because either A) he doesn't think about me needing money throughout the day even though the shopping is all on me. And B) sometimes things come up for example he didn't realise he didn't pay a subscription yet, or this past week his business sent invoices too late so he lacked cashflow in his business account and couldn't pay himself, so we are broke these days even though he has around £2000 profit right now that he is owed.

Sometimes I really want something and he pays for it and then later on I find out that because of that he didn't pay some bill and then when we actually need something and I thought has, he tells me about the outstanding bill.

We tried budgeting together many times and it's all so straightforward on paper but in day to day life it's confusing

Are we all living the same life?

Out of curiosity, have anyone ever left their partner for not helping around the house much ?My partner works overnights and I work the day shift. We have different days off. We have two kids together. Baby and toddler. On my days off I manage to get the house clean and clean the bathroom. It’s hard for me to clean the bedroom since he is sleeping there during the day on my days off. But he doesn’t clean the bedroom on his days off. He BARELY clean the house. And when I say clean I mean like wipe stuff down, tables, walls, kitchen cabinets, clean bathrooms. He version of cleaning is just sweep and mop and sometime washing dishes (which he never puts the dishes away). And sometime if he’s not too tired he would pick up the kids toys at night. He does wash clothes all the time but he HARLY FOLD THEM AND OUT THEM AWAY. So the clothes gets wrinkle and then I become pissed because now I have to get kids ready for school, pack their lunch, some time bathe them every morning and having to iron their clothes. He claims he too tired all the damn time. I don’t how long I can keep the relationship going. I don’t want to be intimate with him because I’m so tired. I do so much. And he does so little. I know working overnight is HARD! I did it myself with no kids. But I feel like I’m doing more….. his thing is he’s with the kids more because he has to pick them up from daycare at 6PM every day. But he puts them to bed at 7:30PM/8PM most days……anyways I’m becoming fed up and starting to resent my relationship…. I’ve tried talking to him but it turns into this fight ALL THE TIME. I’m not sure what I’m looking for out this post. I’m just venting and pretty annoyed this morning. Maybe my period is coming and everything is bothering me 😫

Are we teaching our daughters to hover in a public restroom?

I never sit on a public seat, I’ve always been taught to hover & if I accidentally splash on the seat, wipe up afterwards. I will be instilling this into my daughter but my stepdaughter who’s almost 10 always sits on a public seat and it gives me the ICK. When I ask if her mom never taught her she’s like no, which is not surprising as she never taught her how to properly wash up, shower & clean her hair. It’s so irritating.

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Nose picking and eating - 3.5 years old

My 3 year old is a terrible nose picker and she loves to eat it 🤮

I have no idea where she picked it up from as none of us do it. I really want to get her to stop it as it’s disgusting and people are starting to comment because she’s doing it ALL THE TIME!

Do any of you have nose pickers and eaters? What did you do about it?

Do you ever think some of your mom friends are ungrateful

I have a friend who has both sets of grandparents nearby and they watch their kids full-time for free while she and her husband works. Since her kids were born. One set of grandparents said they need a break and want to go on a month long cruise and they’re actually mad at the grandparents for “leaving them hanging”. Like excuse me? You have had kids for 4 years you need a back up plan and show gratitude for 4 years of free babysitting.
Some of us out her with zero help and they have the audacity.

8 month old not eating properly

Hi lovely people, I just wanted to ask if any of you had experienced your LO in and around 8 months of age just going off food, my LO is
Only taking cold foods - she hasn’t any teeth yet, but it feels as if she’s been teething for months… she has also reduced down her milk.