Do you feel like your husband/ partner puts the same level of care into parenting, cooking, cleaning etc when it’s his “turn” in comparison to you?

I’m having such a hard time lately because it’s become so embarrassingly obvious that my husband just doesn’t care as much as I do. I feel like he compares himself to his own dad or other men in his life who walked out or do the absolute bare minimum so in his mind he’s excelling, and that watching his mom struggle as a single mom doing everything growing up has conditioned him to be almost blind to the labor of women like it’s just expected. I’ve talked to him about this multiple times and it will get better temporarily sometimes but not long at all

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I love my husband so much that it still really hurts everytime he shows me how much he’s willing to sit back and watch me work myself to the bone and not help unless I explicitly ask for it at my wits end. I just wanted to go out to eat with my sister the other night but without all the kids, I took with the baby anyways because I know my husband wouldn’t want to watch her, and I made the older kids dinner first, and had asked my husband to wash their hair because school the next morning and he said he would, when I got home I asked him if he washed their hair he said yes. The next morning as I was doing their hair I could tell it wasn’t washed, they have curly hair so it’s easy to tell, tangled & felt so dry like the product had all been stripped out but not cleaned or leave in conditioner put back in so I asked them if daddy washed their hair they said no, that he told them to rinse their own hair but he didn’t touch it, so I had to spend an extra 45 minutes that morning doing hair

Then this MF had the audacity to say today “we should do some spring cleaning soon” and I almost lost it on him because I clean ALL DAY EVERY DAY and he’ll just be on his PlayStation while I buzz around the house for hours cleaning and watching the kids. I was like be my guest but don’t ever suggest “we” need to be doing it because I’m fricken exhausted from just doing the daily routine that I feel like I’m treading water and you’re sitting there in the boat watching me

If he's yoyoing from improving to regressing then there is a pattern that you are most likely contributing to... Sorry to put it bluntly... Men will put in the extra effort in order to feel better about their contributions, but if they end up still feeling like their contributions aren't valued they dip back to old ways ... We can of course argue till the cows come home that that's his responsibility to own, but at the end of the day, we all have our weaknesses and if there's something that we can support them with to get what we need from them, we have to own our role in the dynamic.

You need practical repercussions. Stop doing his washing. That's his job now.

Yeah I agree with Ella. Tell him youre going to stop doing his stuff to show him how much you do. And stop. Or alternatively you can go away to see a friend for a few days and leave him with everything - he will have renewed appreciation after that. He needs to know its make or break or he will never bother, hes living a cushy life

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Bad Habit

Moms!!! How did yall prevent yalls kids from putting their hands in their mouth? My 5 month old son has a bad habit of shoving his hands down his throat every chance he gets and he’s getting sick off of it. We’ve tried gloves but he puts those in his mouth too

When did your child start feeding themselves?

Hi! I've never posted here... I hope this is how it goes 🤣 I have 9 month old twin boys who love to eat. They eat table food, but have NO INTEREST in feeding themselves, unless it's like a big wafer. SOMETIMES they'll manage a few puffs. Otherwise they want to be spoon fed and/or pull my hand to their face with finger foods. When did your little one want to bring food to their mouth?

Advice

I went to mess about on my partners phone on his ChatGPT and I seen two saved chats, one was him saying “I’m starting to hate coming home”, “a reason why I’m working so much is so I don’t have to go home”, it’s really hurt me that he feels he can’t come to me and share how he feels instead he has to tell an ai ‘yes man’ robot,
We have a 4 month old baby, I’ve basically been a single parent despite still being in a relationship, he says he has to pick up this much overtime to pay the bills but he works every single day, starts at 4am, some days he starts work at 4am and finishes around 8-9pm,
He also said that the dog at his parents house was going to be left alone overnight whilst his dad worked so he had to go stay there to watch the dog, I seen a message of his from his dad saying he wasn’t working so now im just starting to think he made it up as an excuse not to stay with us in the house.

I don’t know how to word this conversation with him, or if I should even bother attempt to have the conversation with him

Was your kindergartner this ready??

Could your child do half this list? Or the entire list or very few?

Husband Met A Prostitute

I found out my I guess ex husband went to see a prostitute and had drinks with her. He claimed he talked about me … I would be an idiot to believe that’s all they did.

I told him to leave the home for a day. I kicked him out before when he disrespected me. This time, he didn’t come back. And I think it’s good he didn’t but my chest still hurts from it all. I just had my twins August 16th.. im like 40 days post partum or something like that. He left his expensive e-bike charger here. Idk how he’s working if he can’t charge his bike. It’s been four days since he left. I feel like he’s probably with someone right now. I mean it didn’t take that long for him to have sex w me when we first met. He even told me before he’d have sex with a new person to get over me. “He knows this way works.” My chest hurt but I try not to think about it too long for the twins sake. They need my healthy mind. I let some tears fall but I know not to let my chest sink too much. I really wanted a family. I didn’t want to be a single mom — but meeting with a prostitute?? How could I ever forgive that. And then he said she was a friend. Why would you save your friends name as prostitute, block her, and then delete the messages between you two. It all hurts so much. Would anyone want to play iMessage games or talk about life plans or something as a distraction? Wtf am I supposed to do. I just keep going one hour at a time. There’s only so much TikTok to distract me from my heart being crushed.

First foods

My baby is now 6 months and I know I need to start giving him solids but I’m not sure what the first food should be. I’m a bit scared of getting it wrong.