Partner and mil vent 🥲

Long story short after going on 5 years of dealing with my Mil I finally stopped worrying about trying to be close with her (I was very much a people pleaser at this time and just wanted her to like me) . She finds so many reasons to be upset with me and will turn anything around for everyone in the family to think I’m always the problem. I’m leaving it into my partner to just have a relationship with her . He doesn’t talk to her much or really care to go around because I don’t wanna go anymore and he understands but since we have a baby and he want to keep hopes up that she’ll change . He keeps trying to ask her why she acts this way towards me and try to get her to include me in things .. even told her to text me after going 6 months of no contact just to prove that she’s trying .. all I told him was to leave me out of that and to do what he gotta do to navigate his relationships with her . It’s put too much on my mental health and I’m finally at peace with myself but he keep trying to convince me to give it another try for his sake .. how do I support him to have a relationship with her without me ? (After she texted me I blocked the number) it’s getting to the point where I’m so close to leaving him just so I won’t have to worry about this because this is so draining

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Side note : I stopped going around because of how uncomfortable she’d purposely would make me and when he would tell her to stop she never took it serious .. so when I stoped coming to her house and he didn’t wanna go she told everyone I was keeping him away from her and I’m trying to break their relationship………

Avatar

Don't give her the satisfaction of breaking you guys up. If its impacting your mental health set some firm boundaries with her and make this clear to your husband. You don't need to have a close relationship with her and could just be on civil hi/bye terms without having to deal with her nonsense. Understand that the things that she says are a reflection of her own bad character and try not to let it bring you down. Some people are just miserable hence try to make others feel the same way.

Avatar

thank you so much ❤️ I really needed to hear that !!

Avatar

I understand where you’re coming from. My mother-in-law is the same way with me and I have been married to my husband for eight years. Just recently I stop talking to her. Just like you I wanted her to like me from the beginning, but everything I did was still wrong and always found a reason to start problems with me. My husband definitely has my side and isn’t even talking to his mom either. I did tell him though if he wants to talk to her that to leave me out of it. Just talk to your husband and set boundaries and have your husband explain those boundaries with his mom. It also helps if your husband is on the same page as you and understands how it has affected you.

Avatar

Please set boundaries with her, and if you and your husband have to remove her from yalls life for a time being thalen do so. Because if you and her don't get along the child/kids will sense it and start asking questions. At the end of the day do whats best for the kids, because in the long run it will start having an effect.

Avatar

that’s the problem.. we’ve set boundaries and the only person who gets the backlash is me . I let him talk to her about them since I can never tell her how I feel without her turning it around on me making me the problem.

Avatar

he’s definitely not gonna stop talking to her so by just removing myself is the best thing in my case . It’s draining and I want no parts in it anymore

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

Avatar

32

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Avatar

11

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Avatar

1

3

Am I wrong ?

My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?

Avatar

1

7

Tv good or bad

My 4 month old loves TV shows especially dancing fruits and baby TV is this a good thing or a bad thing at this age?

Avatar

3

11

Hi mummas! I need help with potty training?

My daughter is 4 years old, she will be turning 5 this November. I’ve tried everything I can think of, to help her and encourage her. I’ve tried bribing, I’ve tried sticker charts, I’ve tried buying her underwear of her choice— nothing. She’s suspected autistic. She will not try. She will sit on the potty at nursery for a few minutes and that’s it! At home, nothing. Any help would be greatly appreciated 🎀✨

Avatar

1

6

Read more on Peanut