Why does it seem like everyone on here hates thier MIL?

Yeah me either I don't get it I think they are extra asf with the responses and unappreciative tbh

My MIL wouldn't even know my son's DOB or drive the 30 mins to our house to bring a belated bday present that was chosen without any consideration of who my son actually is. I dont think I even know what a family support structure looks like, but I'm guessing a lot like what the post describes

@Debs oh I'm so sorry! Its GREAT having in laws who care and love your child. But there are mommas out there that act so unappreciative like the one I described above! They seriously have me wanting to just cuss them out cause whyyy? Talking about boundaries and thats thier baby like ok it is your baby but poor woman just wants to be involved thats her grandkid she's going to love that baby just like she loved her own child! There's an arabic saying that goes like this "There is nothing more precious than a child than the child of the child" and its freaking true!!! I feel sorry for every MIL out there who trys hard to be in her grandkids life and has to face a daughter in law that's a piece of shit.

I’ve never understood this either

my mil is a bit like this, buying things to keep at her hoise like clothes and walkers etc which at first did bother me because it was almost like she was expecting to have baby all the time, it almost came across as over bearing to me. in all honestly j think it was my raging hormones that made me feel that way because now im not fussed, shes only had him at her house once and isnt pushy or expectant like i presumed she was being. shes just prepared and loves her grandson more than i can imagine which i absolutely love!

I think it has less to do with the stuff and more of the concept of things being forced on them, and later used as a weapon. Some parents also have preferences/know what baby does well with that some in-laws (or maternal grandparents) just don’t listen to!

I have 2 MIL’s—my husband’s bio mom and his stepmom. I love his stepmom (she’s who raised him since he was 4yo). I don’t hate his bio mom by any means, I just don’t get along with her. She has good intentions, I think, but she goes about it in the wrong way. For example, going out on her own and buying my daughter all her 1st outfits—Easter dress, Christmas dress, Christmas pjs, etc, as if I didn’t want to do that myself. Then when I did, I was expected to put my daughter in the outfits she bought. I could honestly go on and on about the things she’s done that I didn’t like or don’t approve of. I don’t keep my daughter from her, but I will be around when she is. Ffs, she works every day in the same town I live in and can’t stop in to see her granddaughter? But just misses her oh so much, so we should drive an hour out of our way, so they can visit?😂 Nah

In the case you’re describing I doubt she was upset about her MIL buying thing but more about the overstepping of buying large objects without asking & assumptions that she would get overnight with the baby. From what I’ve seen on this app & with my personal experience ALOT OF MIL’s do not respect the boundaries of their DIL/ baby’s mother.

I wish I had a good mil she hasn’t even asked about my son once he’s 11 weeks

I love love love my MIL but she still gets on my nerves sometimes lol I know she will with the baby bc for the first time we don’t really see eye to eye. She doesn’t think women need to have mat leave, bc she was never able to take that opportunity. She went back to work 2 weeks after each of her kids. She was very go with the flow and I am not lol. So it’s going to be a struggle. She’s all boy mom & I think that’s why she is the way she is. She makes comments about anything we don’t want from showers can be for grandmas house (hers) and it annoys me bc what about my own mom? I’m sure she doesn’t mean anything by it but it does trigger me.

I agree sometimes they get carried away!

I agree some people are really sensitive and ungrateful about their mil. But I did have an overly involved, controlling mil with with my ex so can imagine how bad it can get. I think a lot more bfs/hubbies need to step up and deal with things!!

Everyone???? I love mine. She lives a whole continent away 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Personally it’s because my MIL is consistently rude to me and treats me like sh*t. A month before my husband & I got married, she sat us down and told us how she doesn’t like me, has never liked me, and how I’m ruining husband’s life because I’m taking him away from his family and making decisions for him that he’s not ready to make. She’s also changed the language of a conversation multiple times if I dare to try to join in. But then she tells everyone that will listen that I’m the problem because I don’t reach out to her or try to form a relationship with her.

I would be really grateful in the situation you're describing as well, but I don't judge women who don't like their MIL. I don't even know mine

I adore my mother in law ❤️ I feel sad that people don’t have that connection with their partners family.

I’ve never complained about mine she’s a gem 💎

Most issues with MILs run deeper than just 1 situation.

If you don’t have a narcissistic MIL there’s no way you can relate to it. Every single gift and favour can and will be used against you as a weapon one day that’s why they do it.

I love my MIL, funnily enough I have no relationship with my own mother though. But my MIL is so sweet and supportive, she admits she had her kids so long ago that things would have changed so anything I want for my baby, any rules etc is what goes. Offers support etc but only if I want it, never pushes or thinks she knows best. Even said she would like to babysit but only if me and my partner want/approve. I know of many MILs that can be overbearing and pushy but it's definitely not all of them

@Lexi sounds like mine too! I’m lucky I’ve got her and my mum who are both amazing ❤️

Maybe she feels like the mil is feeling entitled to her child and she didn’t agree to all of that.

I think the buying of things has a lot to do with boundaries. As the child’s mother she wants to have a say. I’ve learned that sometimes people buying you things can mean that they think they can do what they want. I’m grateful for the things but buying them doesn’t mean you do what you want with myself or my child. I also think that sometimes people share stories on a surface level and there might be more bothering her about the relationship then she can articulate or figure out.

i could go on and on about why i can’t stand my in-laws. not everyone is as lucky as you or the next girl to have great in laws. there could be stipulations or ties when it comes to buying things for their grandkids and they expect something from you later on. it’s completely unfair and just unnecessary drama. everyone has their own situation idk why this is even a question. if you LOOOVE your mil good for you 👌🤩👏🙄 no need to judge other women for not being in the same boat as you girl. n you’re right. what goes around comes around. hope my MIL gets it back 10 fold.

I am very blessed as my MIL is a lovely respectful lady. She is incredibly excited about her first grandchild coming soon but she has never been overbearing or crossed any lines. She lives in London as well so I am excited she can be part of our child’s life.

My MIL is an absolute gem, I love her dearly. However, its my actual mum that is the problem🤣 she hasnt seen our baby girl since the day she was born. Not a picture or a video and it’s been over 3 months. Im slowly patterning her to treat me as a grown adult and not a child anymore and not be a selfish, narcissistic asshole.

I adore both my in laws. They’ve done so much for us and have treated me as their own daughter. I’m estranged and they’ve really filled that void for me. Before baby and during the pregnancy. I think I’ve been really fortunate, they never overstep their boundary, in fact if they do it’s normally my father in law who’s a bit pushy and if I tell him kindly he gets it and backs away. They’ve offered to buy cribs and such for us because we couldn’t afford to, they rented a flat for us as a surprise because we were struggling to find anywhere and we didn’t ask for help but they kinda could see we were struggling, when we were looking for a place they opened their home to us and gave us a room whilst respecting our privacy. They’re Asian in laws and I think it’s our culture to respect each other. They have nothing and come from nothing but will give an arm or a leg to us to stop seeing us struggle. I couldn’t have been luckier in this aspect but unfortunately my own family are not the same

If my MIL bought anything for my kids or made an effort to see them I wouldn’t be complaining, but she doesn’t even ask after them and last time she saw my kids, which was in May, was the first time she saw them since Christmas and only because we went to my BILs house and she happened to be there. Bearing in mind she hadn’t seen my kids for almost 6 months, she gave my son a toy helicopter and proudly announced that she picked it up for 50p from a car boot, and then had the audacity to suggest we took her on holiday for her birthday 🌝

I get on with mine I don’t really get on with my mother.

I don't hate my Mil, I just hate that she undermines me, does stuff to and with my child without asking first and disrespects me. Those are the actions she displays whenever I'm around

I see so many people on here that have issues with overbearing MIL’s and I’m so thankful mines wonderful! X

I absolutely love my mother in law! But my own mum... she's overbearing haha.

I understand both sides. My MIL is awesome & her and my daughter have the most fun together. I love and respect her & im forever grateful because her son is fucking amazing and she raised 2 herself. All that does not change the fact that she’s human and imperfect & makes very hurtful comments to us both, but with the best intention. Still hurts. This is an app that people come to because they likely don’t have anyone who gets it. We can find friends here but also we vent to ppl who understand/care/going through too/ or just get some encouragement. It’s rude sometimes but sometimes ppl just need to get it out instead of disrespecting an MIL to their face.