Entitled parents who think they deserve help

People automatically think their parents or siblings are supposed to help them with their children when they decide to have them. And then get mad that they don’t have help. People have their own lives that don’t revolve around you and your child(ren) To me it’s selfish and entitled to think that you automatically should receive help from your family members just because you had a baby. You had sex and created that baby. Yes it’s nice if they help out but not mandatory. Most of our parents didn’t have help with us. Your husband, partner, or boyfriend should be helping you. It’s your responsibility as a parent to care for your child and if you need extra help, hire a nanny. Kids are not all rainbows and sunshine. And if you didn’t think this through before you had kids then you probably shouldn’t be having them IMO.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Why be so judgemental? Different family dynamics work in different ways. I also think that more older generations did have more help from Grandparents as the women tended not to work.

Avatar

Because it’s my opinion and I wasn’t being judgmental. I see so many post about people’s family not helping and it’s irritating that people are so entitled to get mad at their families for not helping. Those are your kids. If you wanted more free time then don’t have kids or hire someone to help you. Your family is not obligated to help you with your kids. If you don’t like or agree with my post then keep scrolling and don’t comment. If the shoe fits…

Avatar

As much as i agree that the help isn't mandatory there are different family dynamics out there. Hire a nanny? Not everyone can afford that or wants that, partner/husband/boyfriend? Not everyone has that either dont be so judgemental of other people's situation, you have no idea about other people's lives also there is nothing wrong with asking for help people are only human.

Avatar

I disagree if you decide to be a parent that’s a lifelong commitment which means you should help your children with their own children when they need if you are able bodied enough to parents that don’t support their kids when they transition into parenting themselves are just shitty it’s not 18 years of obligation it’s a lifetime

Avatar

This depends. Once I was having breakfast with my husband and mil. I was swatting my sons hand, since he would gag and vomit from pushing it too far back, while eating. He threw up a little, so I was getting ready to change him in the restaurant restroom. But I kept trying to prevent him from vomiting more. My mil had finished with her breakfast and was just staring as I did that and got what I needed from my diaper bag. As I got the changing pad, he got his hand back in his mouth and threw up a lot. I was fuming. She didn’t offer to help at all and I just took baby with me and did it all myself. I am always one to help someone when I see that they are struggling, so it’s infuriating when people don’t help me back on the few times I need it. Because of it, I don’t let my mil help me at all in taking care of my son. I expect help, but if I don’t see the other people try, I give up ever asking them.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Avatar

6

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Avatar

4

8

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Avatar

6

He has no respect for anything to do with me.

Husband and I decided to separate 3 days ago. I've been sleeping on the floor in the kids room, and we both have to stay in the same apartment for a while. He wont stop pushing little things and I am reaching my limit. Photos in comments

Avatar

8

Toddlers

How often are your toddlers asking for food? My oldest who is 3 just finished a whole plate of food and not even 10 minutes later he’s requesting more food. I know he’s going through a growth spurt, but how do you respond to this.

Avatar

17

Just need a vent

My MIL currently lives with us; as well as my SIL, her husband, and her 2 severely autistic children. My boyfriend has been redoing a house for their family to move into while he has been on paternity leave. All that is left is the electric and plumbing brought up to code. Which he doesn’t know how to do but my MIL family does for a living. He goes back to work starting Monday. My MIL decided that instead of helping with the electric and calling her family to come out and start on it, that she was going to go visit her oldest son and family that live 2 hours away. Which would have been fine if they hadn’t just gotten over the flu. Literally the day she goes to visit, she messaged my SIL and says that 2 of the kids are sick again. So she ends up staying up there for a week until the kids “get over it”. She’s been back since Tuesday and started saying yesterday that she doesn’t feel good. After trying multiple times to hold my 2 month old daughter, standing over me while I’m trying to take care of my daughter when crying, and coughing near my daughter. At 4am this morning when I woke up for a night feed, I felt like crap. My stomach has been hurting so bad that it made me feel nauseous. And I’ve (tmi) diarrhea all day so far. If she did bring something in, I now have to try and not give it to my newborn and take care of her sick at the same time. I’m just beyond pissed that she didn’t think of the baby before going there and coming back after being around sick kids. She also didn’t even try to quarantine herself from us and the baby.

Avatar

3

4

Read more on Peanut