FTM feeling overwhelmed!

Wait 15 min instead of 5. You don't want him *only* sleeping on you

My baby did this for the first 6 weeks. I got a sleepyhead and starting putting her in it for naps in the day to get her used to it. Now she sleeps in it at night atmeast for the first6 hours

Our LO slept on me or my partner at night for probably the first 3-4 weeks. We just took it in turns having her on us so the other one could sleep. It was really tough, but we kept persevering with her in the crib and eventually she started sleeping longer stretches in there. One thing I found that really helped (and I’m still using now) was popping an electric heated pad in the crib for a wee while before putting her in so it was nice and cosy when I put her down (obviously I remove it before putting her in.)

They’re just so dependent on you the first few weeks and want to be close to you to feel secure. We just decided to go with it cos it was obviously what she needed at the time and was only temporary (altho she still only sleeps if she’s on me during the day and is almost 5 months!)

Have you tried swaddling? X

My baby did this, me and my partner did shifts for the first 8 weeks and only around 8 weeks did we get her into a routine of bath bottle and bed.
My partner did the first shift 7-1 and he’d let her sleep on him and then I did from 1. Gave her a bottle around 1, swaddle her and then attempt to lay her down. At first she would just cry and then we managed 30 mins and then eventually she would sleep on my shift until she was due her next bottle. This is when we started to do more of a routine.
I’d recommend shifts if you can and if not just nap as much as you can.
I didn’t want to leave her to cry, I read so many different articles about letting them cry and for them not to get used to sleeping on you but the best thing is to ensure they feel safe and happy. Just keep trying to lay them down ☺️
If you are co sleeping I recommend following happy co sleeper on Instagram, I never intended to co sleep but did have one or two nights where we had to and her advice made me feel a lot safer xx

My LG did the same when she was a few weeks. I found putting a hot water bottle in the cot for a bit to warm up the sheet and then I used to drape the top I had been wearing that day over the side of the cot (tucked it in for safety) so she could still smell me and she would sleep really well for a few hours

I know that we all make informed choices for our own families but these aren't safe for unsupervised sleep so it's best not to recommend them to other sleep deprived mamas without acknowledging that.

Honestly, ride it out. It will get better, I promise! Hard to hear but the truth ❤️ this phase doesn't last long

Congratulations on your little boy!
You’re not doing anything wrong at all - look up the 4th trimester.
Your baby has been with you for the last 9 months, it is completely normal for them to want to be with you. You’re their normal, and you make them feel safe and secure. 3 weeks is such a short space of time, it can take a long time for them to adjust.
My little girl was good at sleeping in her bed from a few weeks old, but this time around my little boy has only wanted to sleep on me.
You just have to do what you gotta do to get through these early days, I know you’ll be feeling exhausted but it won’t be forever ❤️

I think she might mean to wait 15 mins before putting them down, once they’ve fallen asleep, instead of 5 x

@Eve I didn't recommend it just said what works for me 👌
But to add the midwives told my friend she could roll a towel up and create the same sort of shape to make baby feel secure.
People still have to make informed choices

Both my babies preferred contact sleep initially. The eldest allowed a swaddle and the youngest has always been a contact tummy sleeper, so even going into the cot wouldn’t sleep unless on his tummy. Obviously that’s not recommended due to the higher risk of SIDS so that was our own decision and I’m not saying it should be yours, but he still rolls over now to tummy now at 10months despite seeing an osteopath and having some sessions with her. But as others have said, your baby is still very young and wants the safety and comfort of your heartbeat, your breathing and body heat. Everything you’re doing sounds great as it newborns this early part of the 4th trimester is you learning about them and them adjusted to life outside the uterus. Plus they have a growth spurt around 4weeks too. You’re definitely not doing anything wrong. In fact my 10month old normally sleeps well in his cotbed but last night spent most of it back in my arms. You’ll get there, take it one day/night at a time x

Honestly I think it’s normal :/ I mean with my son I had the same issue… I tried baths, swaddles, white noise, all types of different noises, rocking, dark room, clean everything ect. He only wanted to sleep when I was carrying him, on my chest, or on my boobs.
He eventually grew out of it, but I did co sleep several hours with him in the mornings after his 4 month sleep regressions. If he did not see me right next to him, he would wake up more often. It was hard… like very hard. He is now a great sleeper. It gets better I promise!

I’m sorry you’re going through this! I did too and it’s so hard and sometimes frustrating. Can you try waiting a bit longer to put babe down? Try 15/20 mins. You want them to be in a deeper sleep when you put them down so they don’t startle. Also, you’re putting them down from your warm body to a cold crib. Try putting a heating pad on the mattress before the transfer (obviously remove it before you put them down). You can also try putting their pjs down your shirt for a few hours so they have your smell close to them at night. It’s normal! Nothing you are doing wrong 😊

Babies just want their mommas warmth and love, it’s normal! Our solution is co sleeping and it has works great for us, I know you said it is not your first option though so I am sure some other mamas have better advice!

Hi, my son is 1 year old. We have co-slept his whole life. He slept on me for the first couple weeks of his life. I set pillows up beside and behind me, tucked him in so he wouldn't go anywhere and so I wouldn't roll over. It worked great and we both got comfortable with him side laying, he'd fall asleep afger nursing and I'd move over to give him and myself space, or I slowly moved him into bedside bassinet. ANYWAYS, I want to encourage you....baby sleep ebbs and flows. I think when we are in a season and sleep is looking one way, we can be narrow sighted and think it's always going to look like that. But that's just not true. It changes. Baby grows, you grow in wisdom and intuition. Some things will get eaiser and then harder and then easier again. It's constantly changing, ebbing and flowing. You will get into a good rhythm. Sometime it will look like just getting through this season, and then the next season you may be thriving. All in all, you are doing great, and things always work out.

You’re not doing anything wrong, this is what most babies are like (the idea of cots etc. was built around the unicorn babies that ‘like their space’ and non-responsive parenting i.e., cry it out for the rest). He’s only known the inside of you and he doesn’t even realise he’s not physically part of you just yet. Safe bedsharing got me through! You’ve got this and it will pass!

Babies that little just are having such a huge adjustment, they need to be comforted as often as you can manage it. It worked well for me to sleep on my side always next to my infant and I was always able to do this safely. I kept baby in the middle of our bed and she slept really well there. We had plenty of bedrooms and a pack and play so we had options and tried to use the pack and play for naps but I always had to lie down with her. Now she’s 14 and I don’t get to spend any time with her and she just wants to hang with friends and stay in her phone. So it’s very hard but these binding times will come and go!

Hey Meg, I worried about the same with our wee boy and advice I’d been given or tried included:

Try keeping him up on you longer than 5-10 mins, try 15-20 first and if that’s not helping then try 20-30 mins - it helps with their wind and making them comfortable.

Fold your pillowcase or something that will smell like you under him or under his sheet.

Put him down in the crib at some stage during the day to sleep too - sometimes they might prefer smaller spaces like Moses baskets/prams as they’re closer spaces/more contained.

Nests of towels & sleepyheads are great but are honestly really only safe for sleeping if you’re watching/monitoring your baby - eg they’re used in neonatal wards but only until they come off their monitors.

When I pop him down I tend to keep one hand on him a couple of minutes longer so I’m gradually reducing my contact with him and I turn on pink noise on the snuzcloud

Hope you find things that help & before you know it this phase will have passed!

I also used a doc a tot (same as sleepyhead) for almost 4 months and it worked great for us.. around 50% of SIDS is typically from adults accidentally falling asleep with baby .. in my opinion sleeping with one of these is much safer than getting extremely sleep deprived from trying to exclusively use a bassinet/crib but to watch his own

adults sleeping with babies do not result in SIDS. This is asphyxiation. Cosleeping safely isn't harmful. In many cultures (Asia), babies cosleep with parents until they are a few years old. SIDS is when babies die even when you do everything to keep their sleep environment safe and the cause cannot be determined. This is a bad advise to scare new mums who are sleep deprived.

I may be a bad mom but I sleep with my baby next to me , I couldn’t get sleep when ever I put him in his bassinet.but when we slept close I slept through the night . My husband even learnt to sleep carefully

All newborns go through this phase unfortunately. What helped with mine was after feeding and burping, I held mine until she fell into a deep sleep (so 45-60 minutes) and then gently put her down in her next to me. Sometimes I did it too early and she woke up and had to try again. I read on my phone or read the Kindle during these times. We also swaddled, used a sound machine and red light to promote sleep hormones.

If all have been tried and baby still cry, don't be scared to give cosleeping a try. The lullaby trust website gives great info about how to do this safely. It will get better. Hang in there.

Going through the exact same thing 🙉

Your doing amazing!!! My 6 week old was exactly the same, slowly she’s starting to go down but I slept with her on me. Just keep trying to pop him down that’s what I did, and like o said slowly she’s transitioning. Last night slept in bed with me but on her own. As long as your doing everything possible to ensure it’s safe who cares what others think. This is my second, and the health visitor still tells me not to do it, but I looked at the lullaby trust, ensure it’s safe, and honestly if it works and we both sleep and are happy who cares what others think. Nap when you can when he is. But honestly mumma your doing amazing!!! Xxxxx

yep, 3 different types 😬

Thank you so much for all the advice ladies. Makes me feel so much better. There's a lot to try out here so will definitely put some into action!

As for the dockatot/sleepyhead debate, each to their own but I only use our sleepyhead during the day with it right next to me.

It's hard but it's normal. Let him fall asleep and when you're sure he's asleep move him to his own sleep space. It will feel like you're doing it every 5 minutes for a while but the time will increase and you'll get better sleep eventually