WHAT DO I DO?!
hey everyone. Since having my baby girl 4 weeks ago I feel different towards my partner. He doesn’t really help me much with our daughter it’s always me doing stuff like feeding , changing and all the night feeds. He never used to go out much with his mates but he seems to be always going out now just normal things like cinema or the pub which I haven’t got a issue with but he never asks me first he just expects and then leaves me, he works in London for the week then doesn’t really bother with our daughter when he comes home as he’s tired then just goes out some weekends so feel like he never bothers. We have started to also have sex again after baby which he says it’s not the same down there like it used to be which has obviously hurt my feelings. I also don’t go out much with friends I will only go out in the day like shopping etc but when I want to arange a night out with friends it’s a problem with him or he has to get someone to help him with baby as he said he isn’t ready to be alone with her yet, what do I do girls? As I’m struggling here and need all the support I can as I feel like it’s all me doing everything! Which is making me look and feel different towards him, he supports me and my daughter brilliantly but apart from that he doesn’t do much.
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ofc you aren’t going to feel the same down there you are still healing! It takes longer than 4 weeks for things to go back to normal, I’m 6 months pp and my bf says it feels the same as when I got pregnant so eventually it’ll go back. But on the other stuff, how is he so tired if he goes out all the time?? Tell him stay home and help with the baby he helped make it so he can help take care of it. & I think it’s weird he started going out more after you had the baby, that seems odd to me since it’s not something he used to do much, I would ask him about it. Some men cheat after having a baby. I’m not saying it’s what he’s doing but id have a talk with him. But just sit him down and talk to him, newborns are hard enough to take care of without having any help!
You need to have a deep talk about this with him. This is a serious issue if he's not helping out with the baby. He should be staying home with you and learning. 💜
This is tough. My man was like this too and to an extent still is. I wish I had better advice but I say definitely talk to him but also take things slow. Grow as a mommy before anything. Even if you have to do it silently. Keep your head up and understand all of this is temporary. Healing is temporary. One day it will all make sense, even if it’s not what you envision it to be. You’re only 4 weeks pp give yourself and your body a break. Don’t let him ever talk down on you or bring out your insecurities because you just created life! If he needs help with the baby when alone, let him do whatever he needs to do. I promise one day it will all be better. Just be easy and take time. Him going out, might be his way of running from his problems, or trying to adjust to this new Normal. Even if you wanted to, you wouldn’t leave your baby. You guys have been attached for 10 months+. Sometimes it takes men a little longer to find that balance and connect. Men are slow
Not ready to be alone? Maybe in a gentle way point out that there wasn’t an option for you. You had to, because it’s YOUR daughter. He needs to step up. That you should be able to go out without the baby, like he does quite frequently without any consideration for you.
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