NO!

How are you teaching your little ones the word no. I think she understands it a little as when she has had enough food she says no and when she drops something she says oh no. But recently she has started pulling hair, glasses off etc and when we say no she thinks it's the funniest thing in the world! How do you get your children to understand what they are doing is not allowed?

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We started with ah ah noises, its difficult because i think you have to get the balance between assertive tone but not shouting.

If i ever say it too harshly (it does happen) i give him plenty of cuddles!

If hes doing something to a person we have started asking for 'sorry', cuddles and for him to somehow make it better (stroking where he has just hit, using a reassuring awwwww). It hasnt stuck yet but we are hoping it will soon.

I try to not say the word no.
I try to say words like danger, stop, or say the action i want ie if you are finished your food can you please pass it to mummy or we leave glasses on x face so they can see.

Just keep being consistent. I try and distract after "no" and always follow with things like "I know you want to touch the TV but itll break" or "I know you want mummy's mug but it's hot and you'll hurt yourself". He won't understand yet but he will get there. I personally don't see anything wrong with "no" as its a word they are going to encounter a lot in life and want them to be able to use themselves

there is nothing 'wrong' with telling a child no, it is just that saying something like 'no, dont eat the stones' is not effective communication for a toddler because what they hear is 'eat the stones'.

Whereas what you follow the 'no' up with is good

I agree that giving a positive instruction is more effective. So I stead of "no pulling hair" you can say "let go mummy's hair"

Mine reacts better this way

My LO is also biting/hitting at the moment and we simply say 'no thank you', move him away and show him how to be kind (gentle rub, pat etc). I just copied what my childminder was doing 🤣 She's got more experience than me. My eldest never bit or hit so this is new territory for me x

I remember reading that the more you say 'no' the less meaning it has. If they hear it 50 times a day, the less they listen to it. So with my first born I tried to say other stuff like 'let's not do that it's dangerous' etc and it really did work well. But this time round I'm so busy and my LO is feral that all that I learnt has gone out the window and I'm constantly going 'ahhh No get out of the toilet', 'ahh NO stop eating that' 🤣

I feel like me saying ‘excuse me’ is more effective than no. No gets a tantrum response lol. Excuse me gets a ‘uh oh’ response 😂 I try to follow the statement with ‘gentle hands please’ or ‘that hurts Mummy’ or ‘be careful’ etc

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭