What should I do? MIL issues...

My MIL complains about not seeing her grandson enough. So we have been making effort to see them and I always hand my son to her for the entire visit so she can get as many cuddles in. But my issue is... she tries to get him to hit different milestones without asking us. He is only 9 weeks old and she is trying to get him to stand, pull himself up and not supporting his head enough. I have already said that the paediatrician said standing this young is bad for his hips but her response was "well I did it with all my children". I'm just worried because my husband struggles to say anything even though it annoys him too. She dosent listen either and continues to do it a few moments later. She has gotten 3 of her own kids to hit their milestones and now she is trying to get my child to aswell and far far too early. Seeing his head flop back and seeing him in pain when she forces him to put his weight on his feet really upsets me. She also picks him up from under the shoulders so his head isn't supported and we are told this is bad for babies spine but she just dosent listen. I'm at a loss of what to do

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I personally would be absolutely furious and remove him from her. He is YOUR son and she should care for him the way you do not what she thinks is best. I'm sorry I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. Your husband should also say something because that's also his son x

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If she can’t respect your wishes and look after your son properly then she doesn’t get to see or hold him, it should be that simple: why are you letting your son hurt just to keep this woman happy?

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I know it’s not always easy but you and your husband need to be firm with her, if possible it should come from your husband as it’s his mum. Tell her if she isn’t respecting your wishes then she can not hold him or see him etc. I also don’t think she should expect to hold him the entire visit, unless you want her to.

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You sound like an amazing DIL, you’re so good to make such an effort! I would hate that confrontation as well… 9 weeks is so little there’s no way he should be doing any of those things yet (as you know)! I think you might need to be firm in this instance, but I know it’s easier said than done

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9 weeks?! And she’s doing that. I would definitely take your LO from her. She’s not supporting his head can surely cause damage?

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Thanks everyone... you're all right. I just won't go over there or make the effort anymore. I can't say anything more because there is no point. She doesn't listen and thinks she knows best as she has had kids. Now I am worried he has brain damage... would I know if this is the case?

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Asoon as anythign like this happens take your son don’t just watch him xxx

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If someone did that to my baby they would never hold them again. You can see she is causing him pain so please don’t let her hold him again. Hold your boundaries. You are his advocate. Don’t let her do that to your poor baby.

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Tell your husband to tell your mil that THE DOCTOR said it's harmful. That takes it out of your hands and just go round there much, much less. Let her complain and keep your son safe.

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Thanks everyone. It's hard when I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. Now I know I have a right to be upset and I'm not overreacting. My MIL always calls me sensitive so I wasn't sure if I was being sensitive or not

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