How can I nicely tell my in-laws to F-off?

My husband’s entire family is emotionally draining on him and it makes me concerned for the arrival of our baby. He is the oldest of three boys and by far the only functional, independent person in his family, and they have all taken that as an invitation to make their problems his problems. His youngest brother is a drug addict which has forced my husband and I to go no contact with him a few months ago. His middle brother is sweet but is extremely socially awkward which starts to tire my husband out after a while. His dad moved across the country and is remarried to a woman younger than me in another country halfway across the world and will be missing the baby’s arrival. And his mother is well meaning, but is way too dependent on my husband and calls him daily to dump all of her issues on him even though he has told her that he doesn’t have the capacity for anyone else’s problems right now. Despite the fact that he consistently harasses her, she also refuses to go no contact with his youngest brother, which is an issue because now we don’t feel comfortable with the baby ever being at her house because we do not want him anywhere that the brother might show up.

I used to have a great relationship with his family, but as this pregnancy progresses so does my resentment towards them for ruining this extremely exciting time for my husband with their constant BS. Is there a polite way to tell them that his wife and baby are his priority now and that once the baby is here he will not (and shouldn’t have to) deal with all of their issues?

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I don’t think it’s your place to say that. Also it’s really horrible for you both to expect her to cut her son off. Having an addiction doesn’t mean it’s not still a person she loves. Her son needs love and support not pushed further into his despair. Your husband can limit communication with his mum if he wishes to do so and she is not listening to boundaries or kindly switch the subject of she starts to project onto him

Sadly from first hand experience with an in law, I have seen how others can enable long term addiction and the users abusive criminal behaviour and expect you to have zero boundaries towards it when you’re only trying to keep your baby and family safe and away from dangerous behaviour and substances.

In this situation, your husband needs to tell his family that you and your child are his priority and set clear boundaries with them that make you feel supported.

I could’ve literally wrote this myself about my mil and her being overly dependent on her son. I get where your coming from with the brother and you guys going no contact with him but to try and make her go no contact with him isn’t fair. He needs support. The only option I can suggest is you speaking with mil and explaining that once baby is here you don’t want the younger brother around because an of his addiction and how you don’t know how he’s going to react and that until she agrees with that then she won’t be left alone with baby and if she wants to see baby she’ll have to come over to yours

I just wouldn’t be getting involved with any of that. It’s not really your business, in the politest possible way. It’s for him to tell them.

how is having 3 children a lot and how is anything on this post a third world country problem. (The term is developing nation but again no idea the point you're trying to make here). I dont know how you got the point about American individualism and where the OP and her partner grew up.
Why would you be surprised she wants to tell her in laws off, their behaviour is totally inappropriate. The OP is simply saying her husbands family are too dependent on him and he is missing out on important stuff with their growing family and they are stressing him out.

I have a nut case sister and everytime my mum starts talking about her I shut that convo down and remind her that I have no interest- if she wants to continue the relationship then it's on her but I have drawn my line and I wont be drawn into it. Your husband needs to do that too.

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?