I had our third baby 7 weeks ago right at the start of the summer holidays...I know talk about timing lol!
In laws live 5 minutes away in the village and have only ever bothered to come over to see her TWICE. When I say in laws, it is my hubby's Dad and his girlfriend who is the same age as hubby and I (30) so she is much younger than him. Has not had children herself and since I have had our daughter she has been very distant and never once asked if I am ok or if I need anything, any help with the other 2, not even an acknowledgement of our daughter. I have tried to talk with hubby on it and let him know how frustrating it is but he just isn't quite getting it. Am I wrong to feel a bit deflated? How else would you approach it? I don't want to be one of those that has an issue for the sake of it but I'm seriously considering saying something at this point..although I don't want to cause hubby any fall outs!! Our eldest have picked up on them nor seeing them for a while now too and it's hard for me to try and make excuses all the time!!!
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My husbands dad is similar to that minus the 30 year old girlfriend. The expectation is that we pack up our newborn and drive to them 10 min away so his dad can see the grand baby, etc. It bothers me to no end but it’s my husband’s dad so it is solely up to my husband to set the boundaries and expectations with his parent. As for the girlfriend checking in on you, I wouldn’t expect that from a woman who hasn’t had kids before. She doesn’t know what you’re experiencing or how to help in a way that’ll actually be beneficial for you.
I know it sucks because you would hope that “family” would step up and be the help and support you need but at the end of the day, it’s HIS family and he has to manage expectations for his side.

In all fairness if you haven’t had a baby before then you do t always think that way. I know o didn’t before I had a baby.
Sorry ladies, either I've missed the point or I've communicated it across wrongly. Even before I had my first baby I'd always even ask the "how are you doing" or how is baby doing, at least, question..I'm saying that I haven't even got that. It also doesn't end there, my other children are being ignored even through text messages - they previously had a good relationship with my children 🙂

Hmmn… weird that they used to have a good relationship with your kids and now that you have a baby they are keeping their distance.
There could be more to it. Maybe she’s struggling to get pregnant and can’t be around babies right now?

I get your frustration on grandad not visiting as much but as for his girlfriend she's not obligated to visit or help with your children, grandad should be visiting and you visiting them also but no one has to help with children I'm afraid
FIL has had the snip, he can't have more children - she knew this when they got together almost 6 years ago and has made clear she doesn't want children etc.. we get on as friends almost, I just find it so bizarre. She also treated my children as her "own" right until about a month before I gave birth and begun distancing herself/themselves. I don't understand 😞
I really appreciate and understand what you're saying but we were/are friends to a degree, only last year her best friend had a baby and both grandad and her always have the boy around all the time while the friend works so she knows how difficult it can be..argh 😫
The only thing/s I can think of is 1. Deep down she really does want a baby but she's so far in a relationship with someone that can't that she doesn't know how to get herself out..
2. She doesn't want to have an "added grandchild" at her age, despite her being great with the other 2. She also doesn't want her boyfriend to have someone else to pay attention to (eg grandkids).. ? Nothing else makes logical sense.