In laws!

I had our third baby 7 weeks ago right at the start of the summer holidays...I know talk about timing lol!

In laws live 5 minutes away in the village and have only ever bothered to come over to see her TWICE. When I say in laws, it is my hubby's Dad and his girlfriend who is the same age as hubby and I (30) so she is much younger than him. Has not had children herself and since I have had our daughter she has been very distant and never once asked if I am ok or if I need anything, any help with the other 2, not even an acknowledgement of our daughter. I have tried to talk with hubby on it and let him know how frustrating it is but he just isn't quite getting it. Am I wrong to feel a bit deflated? How else would you approach it? I don't want to be one of those that has an issue for the sake of it but I'm seriously considering saying something at this point..although I don't want to cause hubby any fall outs!! Our eldest have picked up on them nor seeing them for a while now too and it's hard for me to try and make excuses all the time!!!

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My husbands dad is similar to that minus the 30 year old girlfriend. The expectation is that we pack up our newborn and drive to them 10 min away so his dad can see the grand baby, etc. It bothers me to no end but it’s my husband’s dad so it is solely up to my husband to set the boundaries and expectations with his parent. As for the girlfriend checking in on you, I wouldn’t expect that from a woman who hasn’t had kids before. She doesn’t know what you’re experiencing or how to help in a way that’ll actually be beneficial for you.
I know it sucks because you would hope that “family” would step up and be the help and support you need but at the end of the day, it’s HIS family and he has to manage expectations for his side.

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In all fairness if you haven’t had a baby before then you do t always think that way. I know o didn’t before I had a baby.

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Sorry ladies, either I've missed the point or I've communicated it across wrongly. Even before I had my first baby I'd always even ask the "how are you doing" or how is baby doing, at least, question..I'm saying that I haven't even got that. It also doesn't end there, my other children are being ignored even through text messages - they previously had a good relationship with my children 🙂

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Hmmn… weird that they used to have a good relationship with your kids and now that you have a baby they are keeping their distance.
There could be more to it. Maybe she’s struggling to get pregnant and can’t be around babies right now?

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I get your frustration on grandad not visiting as much but as for his girlfriend she's not obligated to visit or help with your children, grandad should be visiting and you visiting them also but no one has to help with children I'm afraid

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FIL has had the snip, he can't have more children - she knew this when they got together almost 6 years ago and has made clear she doesn't want children etc.. we get on as friends almost, I just find it so bizarre. She also treated my children as her "own" right until about a month before I gave birth and begun distancing herself/themselves. I don't understand 😞

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I really appreciate and understand what you're saying but we were/are friends to a degree, only last year her best friend had a baby and both grandad and her always have the boy around all the time while the friend works so she knows how difficult it can be..argh 😫

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The only thing/s I can think of is 1. Deep down she really does want a baby but she's so far in a relationship with someone that can't that she doesn't know how to get herself out..
2. She doesn't want to have an "added grandchild" at her age, despite her being great with the other 2. She also doesn't want her boyfriend to have someone else to pay attention to (eg grandkids).. ? Nothing else makes logical sense.

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Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

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My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?

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