Losing a friendship, advice needed
Hey mamas, just wondering what you guys do with friends you’ve had for years but since having your baby obviously your life has changed, and those friendships are dying. I have a girlfriend that ever since I became pregnant our friendship has been strained. And now she won’t really answer my calls or texts, if she does she’ll respond via text and it’s short and polite. Baby’s 8 months, and she still hasn’t made any effort to meet the baby.
I was surprised initially when she never got anything for the baby when she was born. Even people I hadn’t talked to in years sent gifts. I didn’t get upset, but was surprised because generally for our birthdays and holidays we had always given gifts to one another. We still would talk on the phone from time to time, and catch up at least which I always appreciated.
I was also surprised when she took time off work to fly to Mexico to meet a stranger to hook up, and flies every other weekend to party, go to concerts, hang out with friends, and has extended period of time off between nursing contracts, and keeps saying she’s going to come to visit sometime, but nothing.
I feel like she became disappointed with me when I became pregnant and decided to keep the baby. And isn’t happy I’m a single mom. We used to have a lot of fun together, but maybe that’s all it was about.
In the past, if she calls and I wouldn’t answer immediately she would get upset. But sometimes I’m drained from watching the baby 24/7, and having so many recent court dates with my daughter’s father, it takes me a few days to call someone back. I would apologize and try and plan a catch-up time. But this time I’ve been asking her when she has time to catch up with no response.
What do you do about these friendships that were once strong, but since becoming a mom, are pretty nonexistent. Do I just come to terms that it’s over and stop trying to call or text, do I just give her time? My other friends don’t take things so personally, we talk every few months and they understand life is busy, and we appreciate the conversations we do have. We’ve been friends for years and our friendship isn’t strained by a missed call.
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Sadly that person has showed you who she is ....u have to believe her. I recognize the friends I have that love on me I give thst same love back....sometimes we xant keep asking why. We just have to move on and love on the ones who love on us
Sounds like it’s time to move on and focus your energy on finding a new friend who is on your level.
Be kind to yourself, and please understand she is also grieving your loss. When I became a mom this happened also and though it made me depressed, I learned quickly that I need to let go and allow my friends to enjoy their friendship with other childfree moms while I seek out mom friends.
I now hang with my mom friends while I send the occasional text messages to my childfree friends. I know it sucks but I also have come to terms that our lives are different. I also realized that people in today's world rarely take interest in helping friends raising their children. You have children, you are on your own.
When I got pregnant always every one of my friends minus 1 (I was surprised with this one) left or became uninterested but the main reason was jealousy which I was shocked to find out. My baby is my best friend now and other moms are slowly popping into my life...it's been nice. Just focus on yourself and your baby and the right people will enter your life:)
thank you, you’re right
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