Question.

Does anyone else’s husband/fiancé/boyfriend believe once baby comes that their lives are basically going to be over. Like tied to the house, never be able to do anything they want or find fun again for the next 18 years??

I’m so sick of having this conversation every other day with my husband. I keep trying to tell him that that is not how it has to be. That we make the baby a part of our lives and still do the things we want to do.

Does anyone have any advice?

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I don't have advice per say more along the lines of words of encouragement. We really do bring our babies along for the ride. If I'm being honest for my husband and I the newborn stage (despite the sudden lack of sleep) is the easiest they nap pretty much anywhere and they require very little in the way of entertainment. We live in orlando and our son went with us to the theme parks and out to dinner you can still have drinks and hang out with friends it just may be a little laid back depending on what life was like before. Its easy while they are little. Our son is now 19 months and he's fun to be around so long as he gets his daily nap. You guys will find what works for you I promise. We are currently expecting our second and we are excited for the nap anywhere stage again lol these days I'm only nap locked to the house from 1 to 3pm and I can typically keep the little guy out of the house till 8:30pm but that's just the schedule that works for us at this age.

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The baby is with you on the ride of life

My husband talks about the new things we can do together ❤️

I'm sorry your husband hasn't realized how much the baby will change the way he is in a positive way but I think when he holds him he will change that perspective

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I’m actually the one dealing with negative thoughts… our pregnancy was unplanned and I enjoy things like riding motorcycles and going on international trips! It’s been hard for me to adjust to the concept of being a mother.. how will I ride my bike? When I do, will people think I’m irresponsible? What is it like to travel with a baby?

These are overwhelming thoughts.

I sympathize with him. The truth is, things are going to be different. What has helped me is seeing that positive changes are on the horizon as well💞 I keep telling myself to “lean into” the change. Embracing this new life direction is the only way to realize life isn’t going to be over.

Truthfully, I think it’s important to acknowledge that a big shift is coming. Don’t downplay his emotions. Being heard might allow him to mourn the childless version of himself in order to embrace the father he is becoming

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Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

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After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

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Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

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My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?

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