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Being Well Community

I’ve been hiding something from everyone…

Shared from my personal Instagram (@darcelbeing)

🌻 I’ve decided to come out of the closet today..There’s something I’ve been hiding.

I’ve been keeping it close to my chest because I wasn’t ready to share and honestly, I was afraid of being judged and shamed.

I’ve chosen today as the day I stand in my truth and continue facing that fear head on.

As many of you know I have been on a deep journey of transformation and growth over the last five years…So much has changed in my inner world and outer reality, in the most beautiful and painful ways.

I’ve learned so much about myself, my past, my traumas, and my future.
I’ve learned so much about the ways I’ve been playing small, hiding, and rejecting myself, my gifts, and my truth.

I came here to live a big, bold, beautiful life….And with this realization and expansion, I’ve gotten more and more clear on the things in my life that are not in alignment with my deepest truth and honoring of myself and the core values I hold.

I have experienced 14 years of marriage with McQuaine and I am so blessed for the journey we have shared together….I am also in full ownership and honoring of my life journey and the truth that my journey involves the completion of our 14 years together… as a couple.

I want to publicly honor McQuaine for the marriage we experienced together and the lessons we have shared. And most importantly, for the three gorgeous children we created.

I honor myself for choosing me, when choosing everyone else would have been easier.

I honor myself for choosing growth, when settling for “good enough” would have been safer.

I honor myself for choosing authenticity, when staying to “keep up appearances” would have looked better.

I honor myself for choosing expansion and opening, when contracting and closing would have been so much smoother.

I honor myself for choosing faith and the unknown, when living in the familiar known would have been simpler.

I can truthfully say that Mac and I are in a better space as friends, coparents, and family…than we have been…in years.

I can confidently say we made it to the other side of a divorce that was peaceful (with only a couple of rough spots) and centered in the same love and kindness we shared for 14 years.

Yes, I have cried every single day.
Yes, I have screamed and shouted at the top of my lungs.
Yes, I have sat under the moonlit sky and wept because change has always felt so scary for me.
Yes, I have prayed and pleaded for a sign that continuing the marriage would be the best decision.

And still…The answer never changed or waivered, although I have a million times over.

I feared hurting Mac and the kids.
I feared what people would say.
I feared what clients would say.

…..And then I faced my true fear….

I feared getting to the end of my life, knowing I did not honor my truth.
I feared looking back one year from today, realizing I settled for playing small out of fear.
I feared staying in a marriage that was safe, but was no longer in alignment with my life journey.

I choose to step off the boat and walk on water in faith, rather than continue sailing to safe shores out of fear.

The kids are happy, healthy, and being centered in it all….They are the priority and focus of everything and uncoupling with love has saved them lifetimes of trauma, drama, and despair.

I remind myself, McQuaine, and the children daily that WE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMILY…

We are still a family, Mac and I are just not a couple any longer.

I decided to make this post today for any woman or man who is moving through an uncoupling/divorce and feels like there’s no end or peace in sight….There is.

For any couple that’s hit a rough spot and feels unsure of what’s next…You can decide to go all in and revive your marriage…Strip it all down and build from the ground up, if that feels true for you both.

I want to encourage you that as long as love is centered, there is always hope.

And In some cases, that hope points to a future where you are still in a relationship, but not a romantic one….

Mac and I have talked so deeply about our past, present, and future…We will always be the biggest supporters of the other….Family first.

We mutually agreed that we have learned so much wisdom from 14 years of marriage together and from our successful uncoupling (“divorce”) process.

He has even agreed to do some PODS with me and share the beautiful relationship lessons he’s learned and I will be sharing what I’ve learned from 14 years of doing life with a good man.

*And to the folks who attacked my character and celebrated when Mac vulnerably shared this news…Thank you for showing us how much love you lack in your own life. You were never for us from the jump and we never needed you to be…we made it work together and are continuing to make it work, in a different format….still focused on love.

We did not fail.

We succeeded in completing 14 years of marriage and we are stronger than before & will only continue growing stronger.

We believe that this is just the beginning of our next chapters and we are in full trust and surrender to LOVE.

God is LOVE….And Love never ends.

Be Well, Gorgeous Souls…See you soon.

🌻DB