After the birth

Can someone in Belfast who gave birth at the Royal tell me what the after birth part is like..I have only given birth in oregon in the states and they have beds for dad's to sleep on and bring your meals to you. I just got done reading that some moms have to go to the dining hall to eat and leave their babies with the midwives and yes I know dad's have to go home at ten but I a usually coping way worse after birth then during labir(four babies before this one). Do they give you pain relief after wards? Never had pain meds during birth but the after contractions are worse for me and I can't stand it usually. Freaking out I will be left on my own without my partner all night the first night! I am all alone here except for him and his family so the separation is making me have tons of anxiety! Thank you

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Sorry spell check- labor I spelled wrong 🤣

im not in belfast but still uk, dads have to go home, never known of mums going to the dining hall for food, and yes theyll give you pain relief after whatever you want pretty much i think to help, after birth contractions are a bastard! but also you dont always stay overnight, if its your 5th baby aswell theyll more than likely turf you out quickly, especially if you dont have any pain relief during birth, my 3rd baby i got sent home within 3 hours of her being born x

Thank you! Its all so foreign to me but am having major anxiety about staying overnight without my partner.

Hi Sommer! I’m in Belfast but giving birth in the Ulster I’m not 100% sure but I think they send you to a ward afterwards with other women and your baby, you will be brought food and be able to call a nurse/midwife at anytime during the night if you need anything! Have you tried posting this in any of the Belfast/Northern Ireland groups? Ppl will definitely be able to answer there! The ulster has videos on their website showing you around, the Royal may have the same! If you are concerned/anxious about this make sure you ask your midwife these questions too! I also think it’s really important that you trust your gut and if you have any worries or concerns when you are there that you can speak up! Xxx

if everything is okay with you and baby and you havent had stitches etc just say you wanna go home, they normally let you xx

Thank you for the responses!!!

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Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Am I wrong ?

My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?

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