Anyone else worry there husband regrets having a child?

My husband seems to be struggling at the moment with our LO, he gets frustrated when she’s hysterically crying and whatever he does won’t soothe her but when I have her she is then okay and calms down. At first he was saying “maybe she doesn’t like me” or “maybe I’m a rubbish dad” and I felt awful hearing him saying that.
Lately whilst my LO has been going through a very fussy phase he seems to really struggle with her when she is crying. We’ve all been there I’m sure, where nothing works and they seem to have worked themselves up so much that they just can’t stop themselves crying, and when she is like that I can see him “losing it” (please note he doesn’t shout at her or do anything to hurt her, but I can just see he’s so fed up).
He’s said many times he doesn’t think he could do this again, when he knows I’d like more children. Do you think his bond will improve? People have told me that some men are better as babies get older and start to communicate.
I love my husband very much and have no fear he would hurt our little one but I can see how much the crying gets to him and wonder if he dreads coming home 😔

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thank you for your comment! I love my husband and I know he loves our daughter and he is such a good man! But it breaks my heart at moment that he struggles at the minute, just wanted to know other men are like it or they’ll be a turning point 🤞🏻 x

Babies are often better with moms as we were their home for 9months, so our touch and smell soothes them. It will get better as baby grows. Sending love

Same story here my partner didn't plan on having kids before but here we are with our 2 months son and its exactly the same when hes crying 😢 i breastfeed and added formula aswell so my partner can help with feeding but sometimes he wont even take a bottle but is straight away on boobie x

My partner was like this, sometimes he’d say he regretted it when my little boy wouldn’t stop crying as a newborn and that he’d never want another one.
Fast forward to maybe 5 months and has changed his mind and can’t imagine life without him. It Got much easier once he could smile and laugh as it helped him bond more.

It's funny because I was this way instead of my husband. With all the crying and fussiness at the newborn stage, I was thinking wtf did I just get myself into and I was starting to regret having a baby and I would get so frustrated because he would calm with my husband but not with me. My son is now 8m on the 27th and he prefers me over my husband most times and is my little bestie 💕💕 It's tough being a FTP because both us and our babies don't know what we're doing and we all learn together! It will get easier!!

thank you everyone who’s taken the time to comment! I feel so much better to hear we’re not alone as a family in this phase. I spent my whole pregnancy with my husband being so caring towards me and knowing he would make a great dad so it’s nice to know it’ll get better with time ❤️

Mothers are more maternal and with you leading the way,your husband can learn and learn to manage better.My husband is extremely attached to our 8 month old although found it difficult at 4-6 months (regression lasted a long time).I’ve always been calm during the fussy phases (regressions,teething,colds etc) and him seeing this helps him learn how to manage our baby better.It gets easier and please remember that crying is very normal for our babies.Hang in there and lean on each other during the lows while you celebrate the highs☺️

Ive also got told that babies pick up the vibes if that makes sense if hes stressing baby will too

thank you for the advice! My husband has definitely been struggling more during this fussy phase - she’s fourth months and definitely crying more and more unsettled but she’s learning so much so I understand and get to see all her progress! Thank you for giving me your families perspective x

I literally could have written this myself. I have felt so alone these past few months raising our little boy, my partner seems to only want to hold him in small snippets and only if he’s not crying. Baby won’t settle with him at all and will sometimes go red from crying so I have to take him back and he’s calm in seconds, my partners says that the baby hates him which isn’t the case but he hardly spends any time with him. He can so frustrated when the baby cry’s even though I remind him that the baby has no other way of communicating with us, I do feel as if I’m raising him alone rn. Hoping it’s just a phase and we can move past it but it’s becoming quite draining tbh

I feel the same way. My husband only wants to be around our almost 7 month old daughter when she is a perfect angel/smiling at him.

Otherwise, she's my responsibility. He says that he doesn't think that he could go through this a second time, but I'm the one who puts her to bed, gets up to soothe her to sleep at night, and calms her during the day.

He wants the "good parts" where she is happy, but the "bad parts" when she's upset, he can't calm her and gives her to me.

He doesn't have the patience, and though he's not been mad at her, it's more like, if I go take a shower and she has a meltdown, she'll still be crying with him or sometimes, if he loses all patience, put in her crib until I am able to calm her again.

No tips I've given have helped, or maybe he's beyond listening to me for applying them. It's hard to watch because he can be so great with her when she's calm. He changes her, feeds her, helps her work on developmental stuff like tummy time, etc. I wish that I could help him with this hurdle.

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If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Should I respect his wishes??

I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years now and my husband does a great job providing for our family and we never need for anything. With that i still had to sacrifice some wants like shopping when I want getting my hair and nails done regularly so when I can I try to supplement for my wants and savings by selling my craft items at vendor markets and recently I’ve started donating plasma. Which has been consistent income for me. $125 twice a week. Well my husband has expressed that he doesn’t like me donating plasma. He feels like it’s not worth it to put my body through those conditions for $125. He even went out to sell one of his guns today and gave me all the money and told me “I shouldn’t have to donate plasma no more”. That was so sweet but I disagree. I planned on continuing to donate plasma to save for my kids birthdays thats coming up, a trip we have planned and our anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I finally found something that pays something consistently and my husband is against it. What should I do?

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?