Sex and Relationships with Railey Molinario

Relationship advice

I have been with my partner for almost 10 years. It wasn’t love at first site and we both weren’t each others types to begin with. Anyway we got on so so well and ended up falling in love with eachother. We laugh all the time and have 2 little ones together. I adore my life with him however hard the bad days are the good days always make up for it.

However there has been a massive problem that has made me question a lot of things. I have a super high sex drive and think sex is so important in a strong relationship where as he doesn’t care for it in the slightest and could easily never have it again and just watch porn and sort himself out. How do we get past this? I have spoke with him many times and explained it’s important to me and he tries but once every few months just dosnt seem to cut it for me 😳 he shows me love in other ways like working so hard and holding my hand and cuddling me but just isn’t that into sex. Has anyone been through this and how have they got through it? I have only ever slept with him and no one else and I just feel so stuck on what to do. Ideally each week would be ideal but it just dosnt happen. I understand sex isn’t everything and I totally get that but it’s a big thing for me in a relationship and I’m not really getting it 😳 any advice would be very appreciated x

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Can I swap my man for yours 🤣. My husband is the opposite, wants sex a lot but rarely shows affection, but like you we laugh a lot and I love him a lot and he me so I’ve grown used to not having affection from him. I guess it depends on how strongly you feel about it. Do you want a more sexual partner enough to leave and find someone who is more suited to you in the bedroom? If not then I guess you’ll just need to be the initiator and get it when you can. Does anyone have everything they want in a partner?

You guys receive and give love differently in that aspect which is okay but if you’re craving him that bad then figure out what seduces him the most to get him in that mood often! Lol sometimes people’s minds are set different.

Do you “sort yourself out”? If he isn’t interested in PiV sex would you and he be interested in trying toys on you together? Maybe also ask what about masturbation feels different/ more comfortable than sex. Or request he lays off the porn for a few and see how his drive adjusts. Also approach can be part of it, how do you initiate and how does that translate/ feel to him? He may just be demi and you’ll have to meet your own needs and not force his consent. Out of left field a bit (because I’m polyamorous myself) would be discussing opening your relationship since he’s been your only sexual partner. If discuss and do research together and decide to try it, you can decide if you want to simply be non-monogamous or if you’d like another romantic partner with a more compatible sex drive. Of course part of that discussion is time and responsibility management esp with a shared household and children to care for. But sometimes you have to admit that time has come for life paths to diverge.

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Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

Advice

Hi everyone! I honestly have 0 social queues when it comes to talking to anyone in general. I definitely have a hard time talking to other women and making new friends. I can 100% relate. I just don’t like the idea of texting or meeting up but when I do I’m like “oh this isn’t bad.” Any advice? I also have a hard time getting comfortable and just feeling judged by other women😅 I’m also 19 so maybe making a change in this now will help in the future making mom friends/friends in general. Thanks in advance!

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