Leaving baby for a non-baby life
I’m going to write this out as a short post.
I am 5month pp, and living with family. Since having baby, I haven’t ever felt the same nor felt like me.
Once having baby, they mostly say you feel that connection after. For me, I didn’t abd still don’t.
As I have my mother around, most of the time, my baby spends most of the time with her as in, my mother would bath her, feed her, take her out walks/shopping, sleeps with her at night etc. The time I’m spend with her is only like 5/10mins.
She’s now more aware of my mother and acknowledges her more then me.
I have social anxiety and learning difficulties and with it, I can’t (for safety reasons) not allow to take baby out on my own nor be left alone with baby.
There’s been occasions where I have tried but, my mum would bring up about the social services ect.
I’m at this stage where I am thinking of, just giving up my baby and giving to my mother fully and just having my normal life without the stress/drama and headache with it. I need to have a clear head and need a start of life but I can’t live with my mother with a baby in the house.
Just earlier on, I had an issue with her and she told me to leave the house go/get out.
I’m so close to leaving at this point, just don’t know what to do at this point….
Any advice/tips would be appreciated.
Thank you!
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Hunny, contact your gp they will prioritise you for therapy where you can talk all of this through xx
not sure if it will do any good. Talking will only be good in the time being but after, back to the same feeling again. 😒 x
Me and mum don’t have a good relationship and never have really. It’s just the way things are at this point and, I have to have extra help because of my learning difficulties and the way I move. I wasn’t exactly make up to being a mother as I’m not able to do things I’m suppose to be doing. I’m being track on with it all if anything does happens (which it won’t) anything I try just wouldn’t work. 😞
Sounds to me like your mum is fully taking advantage and controlling the situation?! As much as I’m sure you appreciate her help, why is she not helping to support you in this journey rather than just taking over?! She’s not going about things the right way and sounds like she wants u to go so she has baby to herself. Don’t let her make u feel this way, that is YOUR child! Don’t let this go too far, given the opportunity and right support you can bond with your baby. It’s never too late!! I’d look for somewhere else to live asap WITH BABY! Let her threaten social services all she wants aslong as they see you are trying and not a danger she can respectfully go fuck herself! X
As much As I have wanted to move out and what not, it’s hard enough & my partner can’t even have her to his (he lives an hour away). He doesn’t feel like a father as much as I don’t feel like a mother. Everyone asks about her and I never know what to say.
She says she’s helping but, that isn’t helping what she’s doing. It’s getting where it’s effecting my mental health badly & i am at lose end.. x
I get what u are saying but your mum is definitely not helping you at all. She should be assisting you to bond with baby, encourage you to do feeding and changing. She’s taken over and taken advantage of you not being able to do it.
For your own sake and babies sake you need to seek help elsewhere and try your best to move asap. My MH was awful when I lived at home and even now I can’t be around my mum too often or I dip. Moving away from her and bringing my baby up my own way has helped me grow as a mum and have more confidence x
I’m trying sometimes. But if I was to move, she would want me to be close (very close to her) I have started to get help (with my perinatal ot) and they have mentioned if I would go away with baby for 6weeks and having extra help there. I’m thinking of doing it. x
my friend did this! She came out stronger than ever and bonded with baby!! Do it🥰x
Ima look in to this and see. Thank you! 😊 xo
Good luck! You got this 🫶x
You can bond with your baby.. your mother should assist you when you need help.. whatever you can you should try and do it for the baby.. that will build your bond with the baby.. even a simple happy change would make that.. try what you can do for the baby yourself and take assistance of your mum.. it’s your baby and the baby needs you, you are the mum!
Yh I would take my baby and bounce tf
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