Boyfriends friends
Hi all,
I think I’m coming on here and writing this post because I want to see others points of views on this.
So me and my partner have been together 5 years in December and we’re engaged and have a LG who is 15 months. Now I have always got on with my partners friends he has quite a large friendship group with a mix of guys and girls. I was quite close to one of the girlfriends of one of my boyfs friends and I invited her to the baby shower. Now since my LG has been born only 2 of his friends have seen our LG twice in her whole life. The girl I was close to has met her once and makes zero effort and the rest of his friends don’t make any effort. I understand “lads friends” aren’t like how mine would be but I feel really upset and annoyed about their lack of effort and I feel for my partner but he’s really not bothered. We’ve had quite a few arguments about this and I feel like I now feel really awkward around them and just don’t really want to be around them. But then I fear about creating a rift which I don’t want to do and just don’t really know what to do really. Like they invited us to a gathering a few months ago and I went and felt awkward as hell and ending up leaving really early bc I just felt really isolated. Now we’ve been invited to a party at the end of next month and I just feel full of dread whenever I have to do anything with them. Like I want to be their for my partner and like I say I’ve got on with them all before and we’ve had a few good times together but now I just feel like I don’t know what to talk to them about and there is this anger towards them.
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My boyfriends friends have only met our son twice and they don’t really make effort because they’re lads who would rather be going out drinking at weekend or seeing their family or working etc.
I’m not bothered. They do ask how he’s doing my partner says.
When your the first in the group to have a child they don’t understand how hard it is To have social life and to try and relate to them when you have so much more responsibility than them. I’ve found I’ve struggled to find things to talk about with my friends that don’t have children😅😂
I wouldn’t be too bothered but that’s me. Your feelings are valid xx
Hmm, how old are the friends? Have they got children of their own? Not everyone necessarily wants to hang out around kids, especially when they don't have their own yet. Personally, I wouldn't get upset about it.
The awkwardness you feel might simply be that you're at a different stage of your life to them x
I think if your partner isn't bothered about it, I wouldn't waste the emotion and mental energy on it to be honest. They ask about your child and catch up with your husband, I'd say that's fairly normal levels of effort to be honest. Either they don't have kids and it wouldn't occur to them or they do have kids and they're in the thick of it themselves.
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