I can't stand my mil and don't know what to do

I can't stand my mil. She has good intentions but is so stubborn. She doesn't do anything "bad" but she just doesn't listen. She's overbearing and it's overwhelming. She likes to come over and clean our house for us. I know it sounds strange I'm against this, but I don't like the way she does things. She'll also reorganize buy stuff she thinks we need and put it out. She again does it out of love, but it is driving me crazy.
I talk with my husband constantly and we try to get through to her but it doesn't work. I don't know what to do. It seems like my options are to let her do what she wants or take away her time with baby.
I'm worn out and exhausted. She is invading my home and I hate it. I'm growing to resent her and don't know how to fix it.
Any advice to build a real relationship with her?

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I could also use this advice. I’m struggling on this BUT my partner isn’t on my side so I’m dealing with it alone. I need to find a way for him to understand so he can help me approach his mom respectfully. I am at my breaking point where is me just planning away to just leave them both. Feel like I’m dating him and his mom.

Omg been there girl! I've been married for five years and it took me a while to realize how she was intruding the whole time. I went to a counselor because when my son was just born, she was driving me nuts. She used to come clean my house. She did it one time. When I came back she have bought us a new vacuum and a TV stand. Nope, I mean I'm grateful but it's my house and I feel it's decorated by her. More than once she has returned things she bought against our wishes. Both therapists told me since it's my mother in law it's my husband who has to set the boundaries. Maybe you should talk with your husband and see how that goes. I know I'm kinda lucky because my husband agrees with me most of the time. But he is still having a hard time setting the limit too. Good luck momma!

wow my therapist keep saying the Samething to me but what do you do if he doesn’t see anything wrong with it?😭 he just think I’m giving him a hard way. But that’s what I’m telling him his mom is doing to me.

I honestly understand this my MIL is somewhat like this except for I’ve confronted her and I’ve told my husband I don’t like her doing that and she sort of stopped doing it

@Markira you should not take baby time form her, that is going to make it worst. Its like retaliation. Maybe start with small things. Like if you don't like her to clean your house, just say no, thank you to that. It's your home and you should feel comfortable. My mil offered many many times to come organize my house and I told her no, because I want to organize my own way. It's also hard because I know I give her a Inche and she then actually takes five feet....if you know what I mean. Maybe assign her something that you don't mind hiw she does. Or tell her you would like to clean and she can watch the baby. I know how you feel . I'm sorry

yea I let her do something and it turns into this big thing I get it. I also say that too. Nothing can just be simple with her. Which is why I don’t ask for help from her. This is so deep to me like I’m talking unwanted sex advice, parenting advice just advice on everything I do or say. It’s draining. Or her talking about her sex life or my kids to me. Like why 😭 can we just talk about something else for once I’m tired.

So I spoke to my therapist yesterday and her advice was that it’s nobody to blame but ourselves if we continue to allow the behavior to happen. We’ll continue to be unhappy if we don’t learn how to find our voice. We have to have the conversation with our partner on what will be said instead of expecting them to understand how we feel about someone who’ve raised them. They could be blind to the situation and never come around but we have to put our foot down and demand boundaries to be followed or take further actions.

So for anyone still following how do I politely say "I don't want your advice" right now I think I just need to sit her down and say "when you give unwanted opinions on what you think is best for our house it makes me feel judged and uncomfortable. I understand those are not your intentions but your comments can be hurtful. I understand there are certain ways you feel are better but we decorate and maintain our house in a way that works for us. When you say we should do something differently it makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. Again I know those are not your intentions but I want you to know your comments result in my feelings being hurt."

I'm not sure if it will work though. For context this is the conversation we had several times last week:
Her: I'm going to cut down that plant it'll cause issues to your foundation.
Me: don't worry about it we will take care of our landscaping.
Her: it's OK I'll just bring my tools it will be quick
Me: please do not cut it down
We had this conversation at least 5 times.
Yesterday
Her: I remembered to bring my tools to cut down that plant.
Me: please don't cut it down.
Her: you don't understand it's bad for the foundation
Me: I understand but we want to take care of it.

This is the hill I'm choosing to die on.

Omg I am so sorry! She is terrible. I mean you have to probable not have her over. Move far away might be the best solution hahaha kinda joking but now, since she doesn't respond to words

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Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

Parenting 24/7 is harder than going to work full time?

I’m having a debate with my partner as he’s done nothing to help since. Our 14 month old was born, I’ve done it all alone all day and all night. He gets a break when he comes in from work all night I never get a break
He try’s to tell me it’s harder going to work full time 5 days a week than parenting ALONE 24/7?
What do you think

What would u do? What should i do

So to try to explain this in the best way possible I have a very small apartment.
I opened my back door which leads directly to the laundry room of the building. Lately, I started bringing my son in the laundry room with me because he bangs on the door and tries to get out.

Today I opened the door to get my stuff out of the dryer. I saw I guess my neighbor putting stuff in the washer. It’s a very tight space so I closed the door and was planning on going back after he leave instead of crowding up the space with the baby. Plus I was in shorts and had no bra on, it was an older man.

I latched my door with the dead lock as I usually do so that I do not get locked out and I just left it that way without thinking about it.

I turned my back walk maybe about 5-7steps. My apartment is barely 15 steps front to back.
Turn around. Realize my baby is GONE he’s only 16 months!

I start yelling for him. I approach the door and I hear my son laughing…
The man had opened my door to lure my son in the laundry room with him without me knowing!!!!!!!

They were playing 🤯

He was there for no more then 20-30 seconds if that. It happened so fast, he doesn’t speak good English he’s polish
My door usually slams loud when closed, so this was done quietly…..

When I discovered that the man was with my son, I was trying to simply take my kid back in the house, but he continued on playing and I was yelling at my son that he shouldn’t be wondering without me.

No, first off I know for a fact, my son did not open the door number one. It’s very heavy and number two. He doesn’t know how to open doors yet.

And I asked the man straight out did my son open the door and he said no I did.

My son could get the door to open maybe an inch, I know that. So he must have done that and the man just decided to open it and bring my son with him.

I’m so outraged. Annoyed, uncomfortable. I live alone just me and my son.

What do I do?

I don’t know if he is maybe a visitor, I see his car sometimes but usually it’s another person who looks like him with a different car. Maybe my neighbors dad is my best bet.

Anyway. What should I do? Should I bring this to management. Should I approach my neighbor and figure out exactly who that was?

Thanks ladies wish me luck

I live in a small 2 bedroom flat. How do I keep my home smelling nice?

Especially bedroom considering dirty laundry lives in there too. I do laundry once a week because I don’t use enough to do more frequent.
But I just want my room smelling nice and cosy.

The more natural the method the better ladies 😣
I open windows everyday. I don’t get enough sunlight for plants 😭

Potty training ready?

Hello everyone I was wondering if my son may be potty training ready? My son is 17m almost 18m old. He is not afraid of the toilet and actually curious about it. He is always trying to rip off his diaper even when completely dry and once he gets it off he throws it around like 3 times before he walks away. However, I did hear one sign that makes kids potty ready is dry diapers at night. He still fills up those bad boys. So in all of your experiences do you think hes ready?