Just a rant 😞

If he wants to be a part of your daughter’s life then you need to allow him to regardless if he can afford it or not. At least he’s trying? Yes it’s awful how he treated you but that shouldn’t stop him seeing his child your family is just protecting you which makes sense but if a Father wants to be part of a child’s life then I would allow it to happen it goes back to the “if they wanted to they would” so if that’s him then open your mind to it, your relationship is over doesn’t mean his daughters relationship has to be. I’m sorry you went through such a hard time in your pregnancy and I hope if you ever do have another child you’ll have a better and healthy pregnancy.

I’ve never stopped him from being a part of her life. He always said he’d get an air bnb so he can see her, he’d get a hotel so he can see her, and something always happens and he suddenly can’t come. He can’t afford to buy a pack of diapers for her but can afford to buy a bag of weed. He tries to be involved when he feels like it, then he’ll take a break for a few weeks or a month until he asks me how she’s doing again. And I can’t just have him popping in and out whenever he pleases, you know? But I do try, whenever he says he wants to come see her, I never get inbetween. I make sure he knows that he’s more than welcome. He’s just a sometime-ish person. And my daughter deserves stability. Someone that checks in daily not weekly/monthly.

I agree with you, if he makes the effort and carries out an actual plan to see her (like an airbnb, or park date or visit etc) then sure. But putting it on you with these excuses is not acceptable. If he wanted to, he would! Bypass an eight of weed to save some cash to take her to the park and buy lunch for you guys. It’s not difficult, it sounds like you’re willing to let him be a part in the most bare minimum way and he still isn’t showing up. Your daughter will realize what kind of person he is once she’s older, let her witness it and don’t close the door entirely on him seeing her but I wouldn’t go out of your way to talk to your sister or family, especially if they’ve been there for you in his absence, until he proves himself to you and to your baby.

smh his excuse is “I need to smoke or else my day goes bad” .. and I’m like “no problem dude” lol, I let him do as he pleases, but I refuse to let him walk in and out of my daughter’s life. She’s a baby and doesn’t need that confusion you know? and you’re right, when she gets older she’ll see for herself. I appreciate you 🫶🏼

true, my family’s the only people that supported me. He’s rarely ever supported me and the thing that bothers me the most is that he’s literally non existent in her life, doesn’t do shit for her, doesnt buy shit for her but DEMANDS to see her. DEMANDS pictures of her.. and I send them cause I’m not gonna withhold pictures but still it bothers me.

I’m 💯 with your family on this, he sounds like an utter waste of space.

I wouldn't talk to your sister. Tell him HE is the reason he can't be in her life. It was his behavior that drove you away and resulted in your family stepping in to help and protect you. He puts weed ahead of his daughter (and previously you). Your baby needs stability, not someone who is going to come and go as the mood strikes. I wouldn't do a damn thing for him.