Husband promises to help overnight, but then stays up late and doesn’t wake up

He promised to take over last night to let me have just one break… I have done every single night feed and early morning for the past 2 months as he works during the week (although works from home Mondays and Fridays) all I ask from him is a bit of help over the weekend to let me get ONE decent nights sleep a week.

Lack of sleep is starting to get to me now and I’m starting to struggle, so he promised that he would do all of the overnight feeds and come downstairs with her when she wakes this morning to let me have a lie in for once... But when I went to bed, he decided to stay up a bit longer. I told him I was worried that if he was staying up late he wouldn’t wake up for the feeds or morning shift, but he promised he would…. Then when she woke for usual 2 nightfeeds and then again at 6am he didn’t even flinch… Laid there snoring. So after letting the baby cry for a few mins and nudging my husband desperately trying to wake him, I was already awake so I got up with the baby again and again.. like I always do. I knew it would happen. I knew the promise of sleep was too good to be true 😭 shouldn’t have got my hopes up

I’m just so tired today I feel like bursting into tears or ripping my eyes out. He’s up there snoring and having yet another lovely lie in and a full nights sleep while I’m down here on the edge of a breakdown. He’ll probably wake around 10am and then go to the gym because why not?? He’s got all this energy to go gym 4 days a week while I’m barely hanging on…. All I ask is for one day a week him to help me out with night feeds but even though he wants to help he just doesn’t wake up. I guess there’s not a lot I can do about it because me trying to wake him up while the baby is screaming next to me. Not sure what I’m after with this post I just feel like I need to rant before I have a breakdown 😭🥲

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I’d be going up there to wake him up now. Get a nap yourself and then if you fancy it go take yourself somewhere for a few hours so he can watch baby and you get some free time for yourself. Why does he get a lie in and time to go the gym when you’re absolutely exhausted?? Go get him up and have a lovely day for yourself!! X

that’s a great idea actually. I know he will feel guilty for not waking up again as he always does and he just says I need to keep nudging him and he will eventually wake up, but he doesn’t realise that process wakes me up even more and can’t I just ignore the baby crying. It’s such a tough situation 😭 he helps in other ways but overnight no chance

Sending love. I agree with the above - give baby to daddy today and go and have yourself some 'you' time - take a nap, have a coffee and do whatever makes you happy, whatever that looks like for you. For me sometimes I need to physically be away from the home as otherwise I end up doing chores. Hope you feel better x

yes omg same here, he will take her in the evening but there’s so much to do around the house still. He also says that I should nap during the day when she naps but that’s literally impossible 🤣 she only naps for 20 mins at a time and that’s when I’ll usually make a cup of tea and sit down. It’s so hard but they don’t seem to get it??

That isn't fair at all, you definitely need to make sure you get some time to yourself. My husband is more of a night owl than me and will happily stay up until 3am and sleep later so we have been doing shifts. He takes the baby from 10pm to 2-3am so I can get a few hours solid sleep without worrying about listening out for him (he just brings the baby in for me to breastfeed then takes him away to wind and settle him) then I take over to do the early morning feeds. Getting those few hours solid sleep makes a massive difference to me!

Not sure if something like that would work if he can just deliberately stay up later to cover at least 1 or 2 of the night feeds!

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