Sex and Relationships with Railey Molinario

Hubby likes consensual non consent

. Please do not read this if it will trigger you about this topic/kink. Im aiming this post for women familiar with KINKs. My partner is really into consensual non consent in the bedroom. At first I was freaked out. But he’s literally an amazing man he would never hurt me (or anyone) he’s caring and kind etc. but yeah, he like me telling him to “stop” and “no” but after almost 5 years they her I feel okay with it now. It’s not every time, just once ina while. But I just never know what to say. Just those two words but I feel it gets boring for him? Anyone know how I’m supposed to get into it with him and role play abit? It’s just awkward and out the norm for me. But it proper turns him on. Which makes me feel weird at times but I read up about it once and I can say it’s a kink and I don’t fear him in any way and if I actually said NO like he will get off me (like if he’s hurting me or something) but he just likes that kind of act. I guess at times I could enjoy it but I’m not sure where I stand with it and I just want more ideas of how I can comfortably explore this kink? And yes I’m aware I don’t have to do it if I don’t want to girls, but I do cause it turns him on and I know it’s just “pretend” . You know?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I think it’s very normal. I kind of have this kink, and a lot of my friends as well. Does he like bondage? Or do you? Sometimes that gives of the same feeling

I’ve never tried I don’t even really know where to begin. He has held my arms together to stop me from moving so he does like that

https://spotify.link/1Askfor2KDb I recommend this podcast, "Both Sides of The Bed" they have great episodes on kink and one episodes gives suggestions on phrases and words you can explore saying to keep it spicy.

Definitely have a safe word

listening now, thank you

I think he knows when I’m being serious

my partner and i both have a CNC kink. i have some advice!

- you must be comfortable with it as well. if you aren’t, tell him straight. it still needs to be consensual on your part.

-have a safe word. always. (something other than no or stop).

-have a conversation about boundaries and what you are comfortable with/not comfortable with

-you both need to be aware of why people have these kinks. it is essentially a r*pe kink, and is damaging if it isn’t controlled properly.

I would say have a safe word, so that he knows when you really do want him to stop.

Even if he knows when your serious it's important to have an unrelated word which he knows means stop just in case he gets over into it.

My OH is into choking and other things. it took me a long time to feel comfortable and trust him enough.

If you want to explore it, be open with him about your limits. Communication is the key!!!

Thank you . I’ll make a safe word.

what am I supposed to say though. How do you explore this side of you don’t mind me asking

mines not really choking but more like as someone else said “r*pé kink”

that’s why I’m so confused. I could probably handle choking and etc but this is NO and STOP like … I dno how to do that

We have a CNC kink too! It can be a lot of fun under the right conditions.
A safe word is a must!
Before and after, let him know what you want /don’t want
Make sure he knows you’re into it

If you are both looking to develop the role play a little deeper, ask how he feels about “fighting you” a little bit? Pulling you back to him by your clothes or keeping your hands bound in your shirt.

If one or both of you aren’t sure about that, try letting him know he’s the one in control.

I don’t want to over share but I can tell you some of the things that I have said to my partner to deepen the role play… my partner likes when I beg “please it’s too much” or even “why are you doing this?” It gives them a chance to build a bigger fantasy and as long as you have a safe word you know they will stop when you want them too.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IMO
Is you both have to be present with each other AFTER. Cuddle naked and talk about what you liked, what he liked, what should/shouldn’t happen

I’ve been into this kink for a while and a safe word helps keep the role play intact no means yes type of things and red means no type of thing.

If you’re looking for more phrases to use in this you can explore with these that can be fun such as “please don’t”, “don’t hurt me”, “let me go”, etc…

Scenarios are also helpful like if you’re “cleaning” somewhere in the home even if it is your bedroom and an “intruder” comes in or if you’re both driving home together and decide that’s how you wanna play then he abducted you from the car and you have to do as he says type of thing… or pretend you’re sleeping and someone comes in. Or start texting early in the day as different people he’s “anonymously” blackmailing you and you have to do as he says there’s lots of things to do and try

Sorry for the rant, dm me if you want to discuss this a little further 🤷‍♀️ I love having these conversations with people who are new to such a big kink 😂

My bf and I just have these straps that’s go under the bed and have your arms and legs restrained. And sometimes we use blind folds. It gets pretty exciting😂

thank you so much I’ll be DM you!

I love those! 🤣🤣

thank you!!!!

feel free to DM me!

I have a fetish for a firm grip around the throat. It really turns me on. With a previous partner i used to tease him and say no but it was obvious i didnt mean it and he would carry on and it really turned me on but i never explored it more and we didnt talk about it. My current partner wasnt sure about the choking but he knows it turns me on but forgets to do it alot but i think it would freak him out if i wanted to explore this kink further 😕 xx

This is a HUGE kink in my marriage. Took some warming up to, but now I Love it!! Message me if you wanna talk privately!

Feel free to message me any time I have no issues answering your questions

My bf and I do this sometimes, not as much anymore. We are both into him choking me and slapping me across the face oh and the ass. I love it. I was always the same with the no and stop lol. I do beg him to stop cause he likes it, but it's normally me begging him to cum after he has Meade me cum and squirt like 5 or more times lol. Good luck on finding more phrases.

in our community

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Am I wrong ?

My daughter’s 1st birthday was Thursday and nobody wished her a happy birthday from her dads family but his mom watched his story. Should I put my foot down and set boundaries for them to accept accountability or should I just let them stay on that side for as long as they want and not worry about it?