I can't handle this anymore!!!

I'm not sure where to start so I'll just start with, I don't think I love my boyfriend anymore. He's immature, selfish and annoying.
-He can't communicate with me about important things. Example: his car broke down, the 3rd one in a year and each time he doesn't talk to me about the one he decides to buy.
-He does the bare minimum taking care of our child or house work, then expects to be treated like a king.
-He won't have sex with me but spends all night moaning and humping the bed.
-He get 8-11 hours of sleep (where I get 3-6) and then refuses to get up to take care of our son claiming, "I'm too tired, or I hurt too much." Even when I had just had a C-section and was home all alone with almost no sleep doing everything, he was more important apparently.
-on the subject of sleep. We are staying with his family and don't have room for our son to have his own bed so we co sleep. Boyfriend moves A LOT in his sleep and frequently kicks and hits the baby in his sleep but never gets up to settle him back down and gets mad when I ask him to help.
-When I ask for help on his days off he complains that he needs time to himself because he works so much but doesn't consider the fact that I care for our son and babysit 2 of our nieces (who's grandma is supposed to be watching but she almost never does) and I don't get more than a few seconds to myself a day. (Little man comes with me EVERYWHERE. I do 99% of all of his care)

There are other things that I know are happening that I just can't think of right this minute. I'm just so close to taking my son and leaving. I recently got a job and may soon be able to actually leave and not be completely screwed. (Even with my job everything at home will still be my responsibility if I stay)

What makes this so much harder is I've known him a little over 9 years and he's always been a little difficult but was always sweet and seemed like he REALLY loved me. Now he seems angry and inconvenienced all the time. He threw formula all over the floor one time because I touched his face and asked him to look at me while I talked so I knew he heard what I said (because he responds with "yeah" and "okay" but doesn't actually hear me or maybe he doesn't care. Idk) btw I buy the formula and it takes half of my money every month.

I'm not perfect and I over react sometimes but in my defense I spent 20 something years of my life being abused violently and emotionally abused. He's not the worst person to be in my life but he SWORE to be there for me and now seems like he doesn't care. I've spent so much time in this relationship begging for help, love and attention. At first I thought I was being unfair but his parents have seen a lot of this and agree with me on almost everything.

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I would absolutely leave that situation. No questions. The one thing that is a straight no no is the fact that your child gets hit etc in his sleep, I’d have left the second time that happened. Once is bad enough.

A relationship is a partnership and that’s not what’s happening by the sounds of things.

Never settle because he’s not emotionally or physically abusing you, he’s still not treating you right regardless. You don’t need to put up with that. You and your son deserve better x

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Chileeeeee 😩 im even getting frustrated and angry reading this. Sis move on you can do way much better. I know the market it tight right know but there's better out there. Heal yourself take care of your lil one and go get your 💰 regardless 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

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leave him asap girl x

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He sounds like a child and more trouble than he’s worth.

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Yeah I would leave. Your better off alone instead of that Find a real man or just enjoy being a single mom

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Put it this way, if you’re doing it yourself anyway and having added pressure of looking after the nieces anyway you can certainly do it yourself it will be hard work but it’s manageable it’s just an adjustment period until you get into the swing of things. But do you really need to put up with looking after a grown adult who’s only adding to your list of things that need doing? Adding to the already exhausting task of having little one sleeping to then have little to no help following him waking them up? I put it off for months after my wee one was born and when she was 10m I’d finally hit the end of my rope and moved on. Best decision I made for both me and the wee one

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wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

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8

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

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17

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

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12

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

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3

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

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10

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy

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