I have a question. Please be honest

So tell me honestly how many of you have a lovely clean and tidy house, I mean really? I have 3 children (17,14,2)and 4 dogs and I get very overwhelmed with it all tbh, I'm exhausted

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lol. My place was already not clean nor tidy BEFORE having children.

Housework was a struggle before kids I have 2 under 2 now there's no way haha

Not with a 3 year old

Nope. Very few people actually have a show home all the time.

I have OCD so I’m constantly picking up as we go through our day. My house is definitely not as clean and tidy as it used to be before my son but it’s clean enough that my OCD doesn’t spike my anxiety too high

Do your older kids help you?

I'm trying to get to the very nice clean tidy house.. I'm a SAHM with a 4yr special needs kid that is all over the place, a 5yr in school, and 2 cats. We moved in April. Still putting things where they need to go. I'm also 21weeks prego.

I probably haven’t mopped in two months! I keep the kitchen and bathroom clean and hoover and do the laundry daily. We have twins and a Labrador and there is no way I can do much more than that. The house is tidy, I would love a cleaner but we can’t afford it right now. I pay for my windows to be cleaned every couple of months and my oven to be cleaned 2-3 times a year and that’s the best I can do for now. One thing that helps is not having too many toys out, rotating them and getting rid of things you don’t use. Can you get the older kids involved with chores? X

Mines always a mess. 2yo and 5mo and 2 house rabbits. I try but I'm rarely on top of it all x

Mine is definitely not tidy and not clean by some peoples standards, but clean enough for mine. To be honest I used to live with my Dad who is a hoarder and literally never cleans, so I don’t think I feel the same need to clean that others do.

I have OCD and have always been tidy. I’ve been a mom for 8.5 years so I definitely have experience and have no animals as I wouldn’t be able to stand the smell or mess they create. I do some chores daily (cleaning surfaces and floors ) and other chores get spread out throughout the week so it doesn’t pile up. I cannot have my home messy or dirty because it’ll affect me mentally big time

For reference I have an 8 year old, 13 month old and am currently 39 weeks pregnant with #3 and a SAHM

Nope, not with a 14 year old and 3 year old

Ok so this is why I asked the question&please No judgement I already feel judged enough today as it is. So as I said I have 3 children,the 17 year old lad does sfa&i am constantly getting on to him to help out&do this that&the other but it just falls on deaf ears,my 14 Yr old girl is absolutely amazing she does does so much to help me out with 1 thing&another,then there's the 2 Yr old who is absolutely full time! My husband is fantastic does wot he can when he can&works his arse off running his own business. We have 3 labs,1 is nearly 2 who was a present for my hubby a year after loosing his other one&the other 2 are 1 Yr labs who came to us unexpectedly but have become part of our family,then we have a 5 Yr old teacup yorkie, their lively,into everything,and shed hair.
I have over the last couple of months been approached by my LGs nursery to say that they've noticed a few odd things, (will continue in next box...)

The 1st thing was her top had some mould on that day,my fault,I'd put it in wash basket left it a bit then put it in the wash,I just hasn't noticed it,obviously I threw it out checked the rest of her clothes&they were fine. Then a while later they said they'd noticed an odd dog hair on her bottle so had put it in dishwasher,dog hairs get everywhere, then today they ring me up as a courtesy call &check everything is OK as the tupperware pot I'd put her grapes in wasn't totally clean, no I dragged myself out of bed this morning after having a stomach bug all sat night and all day yesterday to make my LG her lunch, the dishes hadn't been done(thanks family)& I literally chucked something together to get babe to nursery so as I could crawl back to bed again. I just feel like wtaf, I know I could be cleaner&tidier but my life is totally full on! I'm sure their not all clean&pristine in their homes!

Silence is golden!

Maybe just go in and have a chat with them if anything else is raised. Perhaps they are just trying to be supportive and not realising they are coming across critical x

in our community

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?

Heartbreak

After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.

Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?

I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.

She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.

He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.

Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.

Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.

"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"

I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.

"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".

Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.

Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.

Are these not breaks?

He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.

If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?

Help!!!

Am I wrong if I secide to stop doing baths etc for my little ones. We have a 3 and 1 year old. I do all the baths wake up in ams cooking etc. I dont want them to be dirty but it's like I need a break and Im tired of doing it all by myself. He will come up and help after they are out the tub every now and then and that pisses me off. Im taking care of 2 littles one by myself makes no sense. I asked him to give them baths tonight he said I worked all day what did you do...ive had the children all day. We went to church he didn't go. We all know how little ones are.. but what should I do bcus it feels like I'm going crazy