Mother in law

No your not out of line I told my mum I didn’t want any visitors in hospital and she didn’t understand why what so ever. But I just told her that’s how it’s going to be even if she likes it or not.

You can do whatever you like, you’ve just birthed a human! I didn’t have my in laws over for 2 weeks. I had a traumatic birth and couldn’t think of anything worse than hosting people.

It is not odd to want some time to bond with your baby alone. No one else needs to bond with them apart from the parents.

At the end of the day, no matter who people are, they should respect your decisions.

it’s your baby, not hers! 🤍 3 days is nothing compared to me and my partner asking for at LEAST 2 weeks. those first few days are so important for bonding. you’ve grown that baby for 9 months, not many moms want to be playing pass the parcel the minutes they’ve given birth. you’re definitely not being out of line xx

Absolutely not! I have told people I will let you know when I’m ready to come visit! No one ever thinks about mum and what she needs! Baby will be well looked after by you and people need to respect that you have gone through something so big!

I say take as long as you need and it’s tough what your mother in law says because YOU had a baby, not her xx

Do not let anyone change your opinion! Without putting fear into you this is the season of RSV my daughter had it at a few weeks old and it was horrible when my twins came home from nicu after spending 5 weeks I made people wait a month due to me having another child and wanting to settle them all and adjust. You do you and whatever you feel is best xxx

My MIL lives the other end of the country and wanted to book to come up for my due date so she was here for us coming home etc but I had to say I needed a couple weeks to settle into having my little one home before I had a house guest. She's now coming end of month.
I think it's totally reasonable and your MIL needs to give her head a wobble 🤣👍

It is YOUR postpartum period, you do whatever you like or feel. You won’t get this time back.

Sorry if I’m coming off strong, I just feel strongly about people respecting parents wishes. A few days to delay a visit is nothing. No one should have an issue with it if they respect you.

I’ve been getting comments all day that she’s got to see all her other grandchildren straight away and that I’m the only one just feels she’s trying to make me feel bad this is my first child I don’t know what I’m doing or how I will be I’ve got 2 pets to think about that need to get used to a new born and me and my partner both need to bond my own family understands it’s just his side x

don’t let her bully you! You shouldn’t have this added stress and pressure. Tell her that I understand you’re excited but I am telling you I need time and you need to respect that!

My biggest regret is not taking time to ourselves when we had our first. My partner invited his mum round the day I got home from the hospital. I was fully exhausted and just did not want company. Waiting a few days for you to readjust is definitely worth it. Especially since I found learning breast feeding ect difficult, having company from day 1 of coming home just made it more stressful for me x

It’s your baby, your rules! You’re the one who needs the rest and space and should be allowed to say when you want visitors! I had visitors a month after baby was here. It was rsv season too so I was paranoid to have visitors and everyone respected it

That’s fine. Their parents can do what they want/need and so can you. She’s just being manipulative. My grandma does the same thing to my mom, and the more you give in, the more she’ll do it in the future.

Mother in laws should respect your decision whether it’s not something they would do. If it’s your first baby you may even think having people over immediately would be nice but it can be really overwhelming. I’d suggest nicely telling her that even though other people often have family or friends visit directly after you’re not comfortable doing so and would like some time to settle in at home before having visitors. It is NOT out of line and you’re the one in charge! At this point you will be recovering either vaginally or via c-section and that alone is a lot to be dealing with, toppled with having a baby and being expected to having visitors ontop of that. If you don’t want visitors right away, don’t have them. You’re the one who will have just given birth, not her. And no, it’s no offensive to the other people. You do what works for you.

Thank you all I’m just honestly shocked at it I know she’s excited it’s the first granddaughter but I’m also a new mum who’s wanting to breastfeed my partner completely agrees with me but I just feel that whole side of the family has it out for me and when I had mentioned about not kissing my wee girl that was another thing they had to comment on I’ve got enough going on I just need to hear it from other people that I wasn’t being unreasonable x

You are not responsible for someone else’s feelings but your own. How they react to that boundary is in no way your problem. If your more comfortable with your family that’s fine, it’s what makes you happy not her.
My mil hasn’t seen my son since he was two weeks old because she couldn’t wash her hands b4 touching him or respect my wishes. And her stay out household been wonderful without her in my sons life and her own sons.
I wish you the best 🩷

omg don’t even get me started on the kissing thing!!! I have said the same. No one is to kiss my baby apart from me and my partner!

God people need to respect this! Sorry for the rant but I really feel so passionately about everything you’ve said xx

And this is why nobody knows I'm pregnant aside from my siblings, mum (who's one of my birthing partners) and his family who live in the UAE. Baby will be coming as a surprise to everyone else (when we are ready)

Yeah she has a comment or an opinion on everything I do like I don’t want her kissing my baby or touching her without washing her hands she’s always getting sick she was sick last week and of course she didn’t like that I got well that’s my grandchild I’m just so done with it all me and my partner are just trying to enjoy the last of my pregnancy but instead I have her jumping down my throat xx

stick to your guns hunni! You are doing exactly what you need to do for your little family. She has had her time to be a parent, it is now your time ❤️

My aunt came to see my baby when he was 2 weeks, she told me to get a grip when I asked her to wash her hands, 2 days later baby was in a&e having IV antibiotics

Honestly, people just don't get it, and your baby won't remember these visits or care, we're home from the hospital and I've banned all visitors until baby has had his 8 week injections, even then we might wait a few more weeks. I've actually gone of a lot of people since giving birth, people can be selfish and you are your babies advocate xx

She’s just an opinionated person her own children have children and because she got to see them straight away I’m the unreasonably one it’s also his sister who has 2 children said we should take my wee girl to her when she’s born and I said absolutely not that won’t be happening I’ve now ended up just telling them to go away they don’t like it but I don’t care but thank you all I wanted to just make sure I wasn’t being unreasonable it’s my first child I don’t know what I’m doing x

Nope don’t need to feel bad what so ever it’s up to you. I actually think it’s selfish on her end actually for not respecting what you want and stressing you out while pregnant ! No stick to your guns you tell her when you’re ready ! x

We didn’t have anyone for two weeks but let parents visit the hospital the day after he was born

I think the first few days with baby are important for bonding so I don’t see anything wrong with your MIL waiting until you are ready. I wish that I did that with my son. This pregnancy I didn’t have much of a choice because I need my MIL to come and watch my toddler while I give birth so she will be here.

Sorry to hear you’re stressed with this. My partner and I decided we are not going to tell anyone when I’m in labour / giving birth likely - to avoid any visit request pressures or feeling obliged on our phones with updates. I want at least 4 days with bub just as a 3 when home, as the time is important for skin to skin and micro biome activity between us. Other people will interrupt that natural time together. After the 4 days we will let our families know that she’s here but see if we want people to come. My rules for this I have written up in advance in a whatsapp template so my expectations are clear for visits and conduct. I’m quite a direct person (warm but firm) if people don’t comply with our wishes, they know they will likely forego their chance to see babe or be near me again as I do cut off easily. Life is too short for people not to respect healthy and acceptable boundaries and the people that love us have always been stellar and will understand. You’re not unreasonable x

Thank you all I feel that the fact she has had children herself and her kids have had kids that she would respect my request but I was so wrong now she’s having a go at my partner and making him feel horrible but me and him are the same we are sticking to our guns I’ve also decided to not tell anyone when I’m in labour as I feel she would turn up at the hospital and not listen to us x

not in a horrible way towards your MIL, but who cares? All she’s thinking about here is herself and trying to bully you through peer pressure. Let your partner/husband handle her, you’re about to give birth it’s time he takes over!!