Hitting!!!

I am going crazy... my LO (17M) is hitting! She hits me, her big sister, dad, the dogs... It's not a behavior she has seen modeled anywhere (no daycare, sister doesn't hit, dad and I don't fight, no TV, etc).
It mainly happens in response to being told 'no' for something she's doing (that she shouldn't be). She will literally run across the room to hit the first thing with a heartbeat that she can reach! I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!
Her dad and I have been grabbing her 'hitting hand' and holding it while firmly telling her 'No hitting'... after which she generally throws herself on the floor in a tantrum.
I just don't know what to do, since what we are doing isn't working! She also seems very young to be exhibiting this behavior already (it's been happening for about 2 months).
Prime example: tonight during dinner, I told her 'No No, we don't throw food on the floor' and reached out for her to put it in my hand. She slapped my forearm HARD (which splattered said food all over). I gave her 'the look' instead of grabbing her hand, and then she immediately said "Pat Pat" and patted my arm where she just hit me. (Which I how I taught her to 'Pat the puppies nicely')
Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice, or other things to try?! I don't want this becoming more of a habit than it already is...

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

I'm here looking because my son is exhibiting the exact same! Today I got more stern about it because he's hitting everyone because he can't have something!

Avatar

Following for advice too. My son has been going on about a month of the exact same behavior. I try redirecting him but it doesn’t seem to help sometimes it makes it worse

Avatar

My son is doing the same. I keep calmly telling him not to hit and why, hoping it sticks. I know he’s still trying to comprehend things and doesn’t understand yet that expressing anger through hitting is not tolerable.

Avatar

You could try giving them something to hit when they are mad and need a healthy way to express those big feelings. Definitely don’t want to teach them that the feeling itself is bad or wrong because it’s not. The behavior they are using to express the anger however is not appropriate. That’s the best thing I have learned so far and it seems to help. This is typically around the age where it’s important to start teaching kids how to handle their big feelings and what feelings are. I would highly recommend looking into a calm down corner with information on feelings and how to express them appropriately. Hope this helps you guys! 💕

Avatar

https://www.actionforhealthykids.org/activity/calm-down-corner/

Avatar

Same my boy does and exactly 17m old. Sometimes he hit so hard I see starts especially with the remote control I tried to tell him it’s not nice to hit mama trying to explain to him but his dad just think it’s fun and he let him hit so it’s gonna be really hard to stop this habit🥺I just hope it’s temporary and will stop eventually otherwise it’s gonna be a big problem later on. Before he only hit me and his dad but few days ago he hit his grandma too he is getting braver

Avatar

I’ve found that my LG (16.5 months) hitting means she’s missing something most of the time attention/physical affection. I’ll turn her hits into high fives and once she’s in a better mood I make sure to give her lots of tickles and kisses/hugs. Normally works for us. It’s her little reminder to me I’m not prioritizing her in the way she needs.

Avatar

My daughter has started recently i usually just say “no ma’am that hurts mommy we don’t hit can you be gentle” she usually then rubs where she hit or gives a hug. We work on stomping and saying mad when she’s upset about things that way she’s showing she’s mad without hitting or bitting

Avatar

Thanks ladies!! I'm going to work my way through your suggestions, and hopefully, something clicks! 🙂

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Wdy think of this for a toddler to learn word construction?

I'm open to anything else to start teaching him to read and write. He's 3!

Avatar

2

12

Do men really enjoy fellatio?

Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

Avatar

6

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Avatar

3

7

Naps

How is everyone doing for naps?

Little one is 9 months old and will have 2 half hour naps and one solid 1 hour - 2 hour nap a day

Then settles for night around 9pm. Wakes for a feed around 3:30 then sleeps until 6-7

Avatar

3

Vaccination advice

I’m really looking for advice and opinions on vaccines for my baby. I’m not against getting them but also just don’t feel like I know enough about them to make a decision just yet as I’ve had people say to me they don’t agree with them and they can cause issues etc… so I just want as much info as possible. What are everyone’s thoughts and experiences of vaccinating your child? I’m just interested to see everybody’s views (no judgement as I just want to know I’m doing the right thing) thank you x

Avatar

12

Vanilla extract

Has anyone used alcohol free vanilla in their babies formal to help them drink?
I’m 100% sure my baby refuses her bottles as she doesn’t like the taste of it!

Just anxious to try it, don’t want her to get used to it and then refuse bottles again after two weeks of using (correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve read you use it for 2 weeks max)

TIA 🙂

Avatar

16

Read more on Peanut