MIL hijacked my baby shower

My mother is hosting my baby shower at her house due to ours being too small. My partner and I made a private event on Facebook- this is the first event either of us have created on facebook. My partners family is big, so we knew this event would be around 70-80 people combined with my family and friends.

I have been going through the invite list and noticed names that were not on the agreed list we had - I asked my partner and he also did not know who they were. Clicking on the profile, they all were mutual friends with MIL- so I asked her about them. The response: “oh yes, you can add people to your event, so I did” to which I said “hang on, this isn’t exactly your event” and she explained that “actually it is because it’s my grand baby and I’m paying for half of the food cost as my gift to you” this was news to me- I did not want them there, I asked who these people actually were, some were family friends, some were second or third cousins and one- the neighbour of MIL’s aunty, who “needed to come because said aunty can’t drive to new places by herself” my solution to that was that she could go to in-laws place and they could all go to my parents house from there.

I told my mum and she cried. Im too angry to cry. My mum and I both agreed we cannot un-invite people who are already on the list as it would look bad on me. I don’t even know what to do. It’s in a week.
I want a baby shower, but not this one. Is that spoilt of me?
I can’t cancel it, my mum, my partner and I have spent hundreds organising it and everyone will have already bought presents. My partner also wants it to go ahead so I think I just have to suck it up. I honestly hate my MIL and really resent her for this- am I being cruel to hate her over it?

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Girl if they do not KNOW you, they are not coming!! It’s not normal to impose yourself on other peoples parties, ESPECIALLY baby showers. Please don’t sell yourself short to please incredibly disrespectful people. A GIFT doesn’t not come strings attached…

If you don’t uninvite them, she wins & will think she can just do what she likes. I would remove them from the event and make her explain that she invited people without asking and it’s her fault they now have to be uninvited

Definitely uninvited or make a new event post mil will think she can do this over and over. Like bday partys and special events for your kids like plays sports graduations. also i would be uninviting her as well for the food cost comment this party is for you no matter who is paying for anything plus didnt you say your mom and guy put hundreds in so how much is mother-in-law putting in I very much don't think it half the cost. Even if it was unless it a surprise party she doesn't just get to invite people

my mil RUIN my already bad baby shower (no one showed up lol) by in the middle of the shower she tells my mom the her son, my babys father, that he never wanted kids which cause so much stress felt like i was having a heart attack and i ended up having my LO 4 week early and they were in the nicu for a month

If YOU do not know them and they don’t know you. You can definitely uninvite them and if they have a problem with that and pitch a fit they’re childish. Tell you MIL you feel disrespected, and she didn’t even ask if it was okay with you which is also disrespectful! Baby showers are private and intimate…. If you don’t feel comfortable uninviting them you can always look at it as you’re getting more presents and gifts. And it already being a big party of people you might not even realize they’re there. But I definitely agree with everyone else! You have every right to uninvite them! And honestly so what if you “look bad” she looks bad and disgusting for disrespecting you!

absolutely agree with this. Ideally your MIL does it herself, otherwise just explain that MIL did it herself without talking to you so you're very sorry but unfortunately you cannot accommodate more people than you had originally planned

100000 percent!

in our community

If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Toddler snacks in the morning ?

Hey.

My 14m is clearly going through a growth spurt. He’s a fussy eater but recently started having two breakfasts with the childminder and that’s even after milk in the morning.

He wakes at 6am and we leave around 7:05am. Has 6oz when he wakes but then is seemly hungry looking for snacks before we leave. The only issue is, he’s a fussy eater and won’t sit and eat fruit etc so struggling to think what I can give him that’s suitable.

Any fussy eater suitable ideas of what I can make or get him to snack on whilst we finish getting ready to get out the door?