boyfriends mum keeps walking off with my baby
for background info my boyfriends mum has been very overstepping since we first told her i was pregnant. has made some comments that made me very uncomfortable.
i had a traumatic birth and have mild ppa so get very anxious when my baby is away from me.
the first few visits i had to watch my baby be passed around like a toy her and my boyfriends sister bickering about who got to cuddle her. at 7 weeks pp we went away for the weekend and the moment we got to the place we were staying she walked off with my baby into her room when we had just said she needed a nappy change and a feed after a long journey where we took breaks but she hadn’t fed. this happened multiple times over the weekend.
we were out for a meal and she offered to stand up with her to settle her while i ate. instead without my permission she walked off to the other side of the restaurant. i was looking over obviously worried because my baby was unsettled and far away from me so was my partner. she come back and told us we didn’t need to keep looking over and i’m just like maam you walked off with my baby?
the time that really got on my nerves was the other day round their house she went off upstairs when i had a bottle ready for her (shes bf but were trying to introduce a bottle) after we had been in the car for an hour :/
how do i stop this? do i just cling onto my baby for dear life? does anyone have the same problem and how do they deal with it?
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The best I can say is speak up and set boundaries. That’s always the route to take especially when it’s comes to YOUR child. You can even speak with your bf on ways to better approach the situation. Come to some sort of agreement as a couple that way you can come to an agreement as a whole family.
Your boyfriend needs to have a sit down conversation with his family about the expected boundaries- I would literally put it in writing and give them a copy- and let them know that if boundaries are not respected then they will not have access to your children.
Im not confrontational and I had the same problem! You just have to learn to be loud, I pretend like I don’t notice if people are annoyed. If your baby needs a bottle or nappy I would go find your baby and very loudly asks for them back because they need XYZ. And just persist until your needs are met. If they’re being passed around and you want them back I would go up to that person and say ‘aww time for mummy to have a cuddle!’ Hold out your hands and take them back. If anyone complains just say ‘oh dear!’ and laugh while taking your baby back. Just because people have titles doesn’t mean they’re entitled
Set the boundaries! Your boyfriend needs to speak to her.
My MIL was exactly like this. Tell her and be firm if/when she does it again. It got soo bad with us that we massively reduced contact for a while as the message wasn’t going in. The stress made me so anxious and no one around me really understood it. It’s a natural instinct for you and your baby to be together, stay firm and if she doesn’t listen, say it again and reduce contact. She will get it then.
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