Thinking of kicking my partner out

I don’t know if I’m being extreme here or not but, I feel like I need him gone at least until he realises that he can’t behave the way he is right now. He sleeps most of the day (he does care for the baby when I’m asleep but he could bring her to bed earlier if he wants too just chooses not too) he has not bothered going to work in ages (self employed) and when he is at home he just drinks granted he never gets drunk and doesn’t drink much at all. He doesn’t talk to me ever when I try talking to him about how he’s making me feel he just ignored me because he doesn’t wanna fight but, that just makes me more annoyed that he stays silent. I pay all the bills most of the time and todays rent day and I have the money to pay it as I always do but, he said he would pay it so I haven’t and out of principle I don’t even want to pay it. He’s made no effort to get the money at all either. I live off stat maternity pay and disability so I feel like I can afford everything and I always have money left over so I’m making savings now (he has no idea about the amount of money I’ve saved despite paying everything and I won’t tell him either.) but, speaking to his mum a few weeks ago I said he tries his best and she said no he doesn’t you should kick him out. I was kind of shocked but, he was okay for a little while and he’s gone back to serious depression. He says he doesn’t even like being around me and he wants to leave but, when I mention it he says I’m punishing him and I get all his stuff and he has to live in a box room at his parents house so I’m like 😒 so I feel bad. But, I don’t want to be left with the responsibility of his animals that he’s brought recently since we have a cat, tortoise and 3 rats as well as a 2 month old baby. It would only be for a few weeks and then I’d wanna talk to him afterwards to see where we’re at. But, I just feel like shit when he’s around cause he’s so negative and when he’s not here I feel like I am motivated to do stuff. He says it’s not on him to make me happy and he’s right but, when you’re constantly around negative people it does impact you regardless of how well you’ve got a hold of your emotions. In my case not well because I have BPD and I struggle a lot. We have a psychologist that comes to our house once a week and she’s offered to help him too and sort couples therapy or family therapy and he just won’t do it. We literally had 2 good days after she came last week he was motivated to sort stuff out and then one small problem with his car and he’s back to this again and I just can’t cope. I don’t know what to do I feel like shit so much. I don’t even want to live sometimes and I don’t want to be like this cause it’s hard to be present for my daughter when I’m so depressed. Thanks anyone who read this far too ☺️

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Ummmm 🤔🤔🤔🤨 that's all I can say atm

That shit making me feel depressed right now 🫣 I would say run

I’m sorry about you’re situation. You deserve a good support system. If he’s unwilling to even talk to you about the problem then you should listen to his mom and kick him out. You know he has a place to stay with her. Have her take the animals in as well or rehome them if it’s too much (discuss that with him don’t do that without informing on the animal front)

You are not punishing him you’re protecting your peace. 1. Adults pay for things if they are unwilling to pay then they lose their things like their lights being shut off for not paying a bill. It’s paying for a service. If you are paying for everything on your own and he’s not contributing in anyway it’s the same concept he loses the right to be there.

Also I personally would not let him move back in until he has taken steps and developed patterns to be a functional adult. Like working consistently, offering and paying for certain bills on time, and going to multiple therapy sessions with you to work out the problems.

I know he once paid me back for buying food at spoons and I was actually shocked because I didn’t ask for it and he never thanks me or offers to pay anymore. So I was quite surprised but, yeah I mean he said he would cover the rent and pay for the electric. But he didn’t go to work and it’s rent day and I feel stupid. I did piss him off to the point he left though and he’s been gone almost 2 hours so one can only assume that’s what he’s doing. He has no friends at all so he wouldn’t be doing anything else. His mum will be bringing the baby back soon and I am thinking of talking to her cause it does make me want to unalive too often. The negative energy is awful.

I completely get it. I'm in the same spot as you. Self employed bf. I pay everthing. He's just plain miserable. Sucks. The only one I've ever loved and I feel like he's a narrasistic. My family or anyone does not want us together. Breaks my heart tho. But I can see why. He sucks the life out-of me. Friend me if you like. Stay strong. ❤️

Please do talk to his mom your mental health is important and if it’s to that point where it is affecting you that much there needs to be a change

Also you’re welcomed to message me if you need someone to talk to. I can listen pretty well.

Similar, I have bpd too, he just left us, my baby is 3 weeks. It's so depressing, guess we gotta take care of ourselves ;-/

to be fair he does help with the baby he has her so I can sleep and then I have her so he can sleep. He does love her and I can see that but, it’s just everything else. I do worry how I will cope with doing everything and not getting any sleep though :(

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Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

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