"Did you know your mums not perfect' what kind of person says that to their baby

I'm so sick to death of this, he is 100% a narcissist and it's going overboard, I don't even know what will happen once our baby is older. She is just 11 months now but why first thing in the morning while feeding her milk stare at her and say "oh did you know your mums not perfect" and then stare up at me.. then when I say you can't fill our child with bad things about their mother, what is the point of what you're doing coz its not nice, he decides to say oh what's wrong with that whats wrong with telling her the truth.
He makes me sick of living and breathing, I wish I had the physical health and financial ability to leave.

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Please find a local woman’s shelter. It’s better than living in that situation. Do you have any friends or family around that can help you

Did something happen before that? It seems very out of the blue. I would be seeking some kind of legal help because if that continues your child will grow up with deep emotional and mental health problems

He sounds like an ass please take you baby and leave if you can.

I’m seeing more and more of this from the father/husband. Ask him what makes him so perfect? I know it’s easier said then done, but slowly get yourself out, so when the time comes you’ll be ready.

I don’t know OP or the person she’s speaking about and obviously wasn’t there but if they truly are a narcissist then I assure you, they don’t need a reason and it may just have been out of the blue. Narcs always want to be the number 1 person, even the number 1 parent and it’s convenient to start filling baby’s head with that nonsense as soon as possible.

OP, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Do you have any local services that may be able to assist or any family/friends who can provide you with a place to stay until you get everything sorted?

@Kat I know it's hard to believe when you haven't been with people who are narcissists to the core but I was laying on the bed half my body out of the bed stretched to the drawers to relieve my pain in my back and then he said that. Before that he was talking about going pools, imagine in school kids have bullies, do the kids they bullied do something to deserve it? It wouldn't be called be bullying and also wouldn't be called abuse if something happened. The whole conversation ended when he got up to go downstairs with the baby and said what's wrong with you, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, go have a coffee....
*it ends with something being wrong with me and as if I'm the negative one when he is saying negative things to our baby about me

Sorry I wasn't trying to say you deserved it at all! My questioning was off..I do apologize I was just trying to understand. No one should ever say that to a baby no matter what I was just trying to grasp on of he was being really nasty in a fight and trying to turn the child..which is so not okay. I do apologize if I came across as okaying his behaviour, that's not what I meant at all

@Lucy it's my unit but he moved in, my only issue is I'm not physically healthy enough to work, leave the house on my own (I have 2 flights of stairs I need to carry a pram, baby etc up and down on) and I don't have the finances to pay for most things right now as well as the debt I'm in after having a baby. I wasn't entitled to ppl and was causal, when my employers found out I was pregnant they didn't want me working and I couldn't get other jobs so basically after 5 months I went into debt and he covers most of it

If it’s your house kick him out! If you let the behaviour continue, which it will, it will get worse. If he won’t leave call the police to remove him. You can apply for family tax benefit and single parenting payment ( given that you aren’t together anymore if he leaves)

@Shelby I don't recommend that from a psychological pov because the narcissist views it as opportunity. Narcissists love retaliation because it fuels them to gaslight and bunker down in the victim's head. The best response for a narcissist is to pretend like you agree, even if you don't, because it essentially douses their ambition for evil when the outcome isn't what was desired.

Would you be eligible for Centrelink and some house help service. There are also DV groups depending on your situation you may be able to apply for the victim of DV compensation. Just look at what's available in your area/state.

Apply for housing, I’m sure you’ll be prioritised. You’ll be entitled to single parenting payment plus FTB A & B I believe. You can go to Centrelink and tell them you are experiencing DV. They can find ways to help you and get you connected to appropriate services. So sorry you are going through this. You and your child deserve better.

in our community

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

Divorced at 5 months PP

My husband just divorced me yesterday.

I'm 5 months post partum and I feel like complete shit. I literally can't stop crying and I don't feel like eating and this whole week my milk supply has gone down due to stress and not eating. What helps with milk supply?

The divorce- on Monday at 5am me and my husband had a small argument on text. It was regarding him not catering to my love language. I sent him a video on how women shouldn't have to ask and how laziness can kill a relationship. We've had many arguments regarding this prior about him not catering to my love language and he doesn't buy me flowers or doesn't think of me. Anyways this night, he text me saying he doesn't do Mother's Day and all that, he doesn't want to buy me flowers because my sisters buy me flowers and he can't be arsed with my moods. He said I've not been his peace and said he's done.
I replied "okay. All I want is for you to appreciate me and love me as your wife and mother of your child. I'm not pushing you away, I'm begging you to love me etc etc. I'm done too."

I come home from my errands that morning and he's upped and left. He took all of his belongings, clothes, drawer, tv- everything.

He didn't ring or text me or anything.

The property is in my name and as he left and didn't leave the key, I changed the locks the next day. I feel this is what pushed him over the edge.

He officially divorced me on Saturday.
I'm 5 months post partum and I have a 5 year old from my ex partner too.

I just want to talk about it with someone that's not biased. Was I asking for too much? I feel he just didn't want to be with me anymore and used this as an excuse? Or is that me overthinking....
Input would be nice xoxo

Partner is giving me the silent treatment

So I was struggling with my postpartum anxiety bad yesterday. My partner and I was out for drinks with family. He kept making jokes about treating me a bit shit.
Which no one thought was funny. I am usually quite patient about him using me as his jokes, but yesterday it hurt.

When we got home I told him it made me feel disrespected. Now he is giving me the cold fat shoulder?! What do I do ?

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

Forgiving a partner…

Long story short - found out 2 months ago my partner of almost 10 years has slept with two girls, one of which he’s been seeing for 8 months - during this time I was pregnant with our third child and gave birth. (She had an abortion)
I found out, he cut all ties (still works with her)
I want to try and move on from this, we have three children , and a home… I can’t face the idea of being without my children half the time. I want to try and make things work. But I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts / images of the two of them together…. Any advice if you’ve been in a similar situation?
Sick of feeling this rubbish, also 5 month pp so hormones/confidence is in pieces😣😣😣

Does anyone else hate their partner?

I’m now a little over 2 months postpartum and I’ve struggled with genuinely just not liking my partner anymore since we found out I was pregnant last year. I catch myself just staring at him with hatred because I’m so sick and tired of his bullshit. He is just now getting a job and has not had one since THANKSGIVING!!! Meanwhile I was working full time until I finally got too sick to be able to work. I genuinely want him out of my house but I depend on him as far as driving goes bc I don’t have a car. I also still love him deep down and don’t want to put him out on the street but he’s driving me genuinely insane. Any advice?