Weaponized incompetence?

You’re the problem. Sorry. At least the gift is wrapped. These are small potatoes. If you wanted them all wrapped how you do it. You would have just done it. Give the guy a break. Many people are shitty gift wrappers.

I would be annoyed too ( I like everything pretty) but remember kids will break the paper and won’t even remember how and who did all the wrapping….at least I don’t remember. The only thing in my memories are the awesome gifts that my parents got me. 💕

Me being a shitty wrapper I make sure the front looks good I don’t care about the back lmao 😂

So rather than show him how to wrap properly you get mad at him? Am I reading this correctly? Because if it's that big of a deal to you for them to look a certain way then you also need to have the time and patience to show him. Hell I've been wrapping presents my whole life and I still mess up all the time by measuring wrong or folding the sides too short.

Nope, I agree with you. The whole 'at least it's wrapped' thing is BS. Just because he's a man doesn't mean he can't wrap a gift and put some effort in. We all know you don't use packaging tape for gifts. Not everyone is a perfect gift wrapper, but come on. You can at least measure it to somewhat work. Just because we'd like it to look nice doesn't mean we should have to do everything. I want people in my house to have clean clothes and eat off of clean plates. Does that mean I have to do all of the laundry and dishes? I agree with the weaponized incompetence.

It’s never about the one thing… it’s the lack of consistency and effort in many things. Which in turn puts more on me that I need to complete, clean, or look over. This just happened to be the thing that irked me at the moment since he did not want to wrap his gifts he did a crappie job and expected me to complete it. Also I have showed him how wrap before and he can’t be bothered to make the gift look presentable. So both sides look equally bad. Lastly, have you tried opening gifts that have been completely wrapped in thick packaging tape? You can’t… you need scissors.

I'm amazed he shopped for gifts to wrap! I have to do all the planning, shopping AND wrapping for everyone.... and I guarantee there won't be a single thing under that tree for me. I'd love it if my husband has his own gifts to wrap, even if he wrapped them crappy

I wouldn't care, it's not about the "at least is wrapped", I do not agree with that. But to be honest is just wrapping gift, your children will remember the awful wrapped gift from dad and will have a laugh. He's doing his part, you are doing yours. If you want it in a particular way then show him or do it yourself. I would understand if it was house chores then they need to be in a "standard" but it's just wrapping paper that will go in the bin in 2 mins and the kids will not even notice. Relax, it's Christmas, enjoy it. From a loving wrapper married with an awful wrapper as well 🤣

If you want them to look a certain way you need to just do them. Not everyone is good at wrapping. If he refused to wrap or something then yes I'd say that's annoying but at the end of the day it's a gift that will be opened anyways.

I don't think it matters massively but I do think he's being a bit if an asshole. I get the feeling he's hoping you'll buckle and do it for him. My father in law does this, he is the world's worst human being, but his presents are literally sticky with tape and it does my head in. Fine, he's wrapped them but it's not that hard.

You are not the problem. Asking him to put in actual effort isn’t ridiculous. My husband did this with one gift this year. I asked him to put actual effort in the future. Making family Christmas gifts look good shouldn’t all be one me (or you). I feel the same way about partners who act like only one partner is good enough at cleaning, laundry, etc. Sometimes people have different priorities and standards, yes, but there should be a discussion. For example, I’d prefer to have the house throughly cleaned weekly. My husband prefers every two weeks or so. The compromise, we clean every two weeks like he prefers, but it’s throughly done and not half assed.
I didn’t marry someone to basically raise them.

I mean, it's doesn't look great but I think you're making a lot of out it... I also think posting the pic on social to embarras him is a bit unneeded.

If I was called out by the person I love most for being terrible at something and then shamed on social media for it, I wouldn't want to put effort into becoming better at it.

To be fair if my partner moaned at me about the way I wrap presents I wouldn’t was to do it either. Either way he loses. It’s either he gets moaned at for not doing it or moaned at for not doing it your way

Just tell him the baby elves wrapped those ones. Lol

I never said I was going to post the pic. He thought I would. As I already stated it’s already been shared in social media years before.

I never shamed him on social media

@Amber Exactly 💯. Why is we need to be happy for men 'helping' us do something when it's something they should be doing in the first place? Women have such low expectations in their relationships. Your husband's and boyfriend's are not helping you, ladies, they're doing their part. You shouldn't have to be so grateful for him stepping up to do something half-assed.
Oh, and side thought, she shouldn't be posting pics on social media to shame him, but maybe she's taking pics to post of the gifts wrapped and ready under the tree and if he's so ashamed of his wrapping, maybe he should actually put some effort in.

From my perspective it seems that you should have told him that you didn't like the wrapping job the first Christmas so it wouldn't have gotten this far. Also if nobody ever taught him how to properly wrap a gift like his parents or his grandparents how would he know how? That could be what he means by "you know how I wrap", meaning you know how his skills are.

I think his attitude is the problem not the wrapping job. My partners family sings happy birthday in the worst awful out of key way and they all put their hearts and souls into it. When he heard my perfectly pitched and harmony family singing happy birthday he looked embarrassed as his first off key notes came out of his mouth. You could change your expectations and response too and praise him for the effort of wrapping and maybe that would help his attitude.

What I noticed in your story is “his paper” “my paper”, “his presents” “my presents”. Lots of division and borderline competitiveness. I would ask myself is it really the wrapping a problem here or the problem is something else and possibly much deeper.

I mean… it seems like there might be more going on if you feel like it might be intentional but from what I read it sounds like he at least tries? They may not look great but at least he’s helping? Not everyone can wrap well. If he wasn’t doing anything at all then it would be different. But shaming him for what he has done to help wrap isn’t cool. The more shaming he gets for what he has done will just make him not want to do anything at all. But the way he speaks to you isn’t ok either. Seems like maybe there’s fault on both parts just based on what I’ve read. As mothers I know it feels like we do everything and we shouldn’t have to. I’m grateful for any help my husband gives me and I’ve learned to just accept that he does things differently. And really, it’s more or less the same result.

he was made aware of my feelings towards his wrapping when it initially happened. He has been shown how to wrap and had all the supplies available to complete that task. He intentionally found the packaging tape and wrapped the gift multiple times. Also have we not grown up with google/ YouTube? Ignorance or not growing up a certain way isn’t an excuse for doing something different especially if that conversation has been had and he’s aware of the expectations.

Honestly, he put effort and showed he cares, which sadly there are so many parents that don't care. It's only wrapping paper! And come Christmas morning when he's down and unwrapping presents with you and your kids, it's that memory you and your kids will remember and treasure, not what the gift look liked.

You’re not the problem, imo.
For me this wouldn’t bother me but if it did, I know my husband would put more of an effort it.
As my therapist always says, “it’s not about the what, it’s about the why.” In this case it feels like the fight’s not really about the wrapping (even though that’s annoying on its own too), it’s about the lack of care of your feelings and effort. Thats valid.

Ya need to communicate it with him in a way will register to him.

I guess I just wouldn’t get mad lol. He helped. Im not saying the mother should do everything. I’m simply saying he helped and who cares if it’s not great. The paper will be ripped 😅

Maybe doing it together would be more fun. Grab some snacks, chuck some music on, and you each do your own. Chat about xmas, the gifts you chose, who is hard to buy for etc. It's nice and you get to gently teach him how to actually wrap presents. He seems to be in that horrible position of knowing he should know how but no one showed him, ands hes too prpud to take the time to learn from a youtube video.

He could just be genuinely bad at wrapping/avoids doing it as he knows it will disappoint you. My husband puts in a lot of effort to wrap presents but they always look like a dogs breakfast (worse than the picture provided) 🥴 I don't mind as he seems to get so excited wrapping the presents he's picked out. I just hide them under all the nicely wrapped ones under the tree 😂😂😂