Ladies how much do you expect out of your partner when they work full time? My partner works 12 hour shifts. He still gets 2-3 days off depending on his schedule.

I’m a WFHM but always did nighttime feeds and the majority of parent responsibilities because he works 12 hours/day but 5 days/week. When he’s home though he plays with them so I can finish dinner and always does the end-of-day clean up. I still don’t get time to myself except when they all go to bed because there’s too much other stuff to do when he is taking care of the LOs but once you get into your own routine it’s not as difficult ❤️ Plus Baby will start sleeping through the night in no time which will help a lot!

I feel the same. My partner works 12 hour shifts and works mostly days, however he does not even help with the house work. it's starting to get to me as when he's off he's tired and feels he's entitled and views maternity leave as a "holiday".

I do the cleaning as well and I’ll make dinner here and there, but if I don’t make dinner he’ll want to spend money on take out which we can’t afford. I’m sorry you have to go through that! It’s funny cause they’ll watch the babies for a few hours and then complain about how much work it is but still don’t understand that we do this 24/7 and we don’t get a break. I asked my partner to watch our babygirl when I washed her bottles and he was so quick to give her back to me after practically just waiting to pass her over. So me “washing bottles” was my break lool. Same goes for showering.. or even pumping that’s considered rest time for me. I see he’s trying but I don’t think he understands the mental load.

maternity leave is no where close to a vacation not only are you not getting sleep but you are going through many ups and downs and adjusting to being a completely different person with a new life and new responsibilities. Like going out to get coffee or shopping is a luxury now lol.

I no, and I keep telling him that but he has a very old school mentality pre birth he helped more, now he feels he goes to work everyday I have all the time in the world. Its really impacting my emotions and the relationship

I expect 50/50 on household chores, but do the night shifts mon-fri :)

I do nights always and will be doing them until further notice my baby is EBF and would not take any bottles. But he does all housechores from cooking to grocery shopping to cleaning even dishes. I think it's fair

Because you're a mother, that's how it is

On mat leave rn. During work hours childcare/housework is my job while he’s at his. Out of work hours it’s 50/50. We do things like one person cooks our dinner while the other does bath and bed, clean the kitchen together while we catch up about the day etc. I do more in the nights though when I had sleepless nights he often took the baby for a couple hours before work so that I had some sleep to be able to function. On the weekends when he’s not working he helps out with nights more.

This is so hard as I can see both sides.
My husband works 12hr shifts too on a 4/5 shift rotation of days and nights with 4.30am starts on days and 6.30am home on nights.
We don't have our baby yet, but as it is now pre baby he is very helpful on day shifts and his first night shift, but struggles with sleep on his last few night shifts and typically only gets 4-6hrs.

I would expect on those days to give him a break and more help on the other days to make sure he is safe at work too.

I also think it depends on how demanding your baby is and how you are coping.

Another thing to note is as much as we want help with the baby, the baby may only want mum.
During the first 3 months especially, dad's role is to support mum whilst baby and you build your symbiotic relationship.
So it might be better to get help with managing the house/cooking.

Some people deal better with hard facts in front of them.
So perhaps writing down everything you do each day so he can see what you do and what he thinks he could do.

Raising a baby is a 24 hour shifts you are also working!!!!

It sucks having to spoon feed them and I know it feels unfair, but right now it might not be the time for a battle and just finding a way to get the help you need.

50/50 when he’s home.
His second job starts when he walks through the door.

I work 12 hour shifts. When I get home I’m pretty exhausted, but my husband and I split things pretty evenly (unless one of us is sick or something, then the other will do more). Your husband doesn’t get to relax all night when he gets home, he needs to be a dad and give you time to rest.

@Jessica my partner does the same. His response is your a woman you can handle it or its your job. I don't think men understand because they go to work and come home they don't see what we actually do. Have yoy tried talking to ur other half? Atm mine is more hands on as he's on leave but he will watch my son feed him but doesn't do anything else