MY DAUGHTER IS A SPOILED BRAT

It’s not that deep. She’s 4. 4 year olds can all be brats.

She's 4. 4 year olds are not reasonable people.

It’s really not that serious, and she’s only spoiled for one reason….

I agree with the others that you are expecting too much from her at her age. You need to calmly talk to her about handling her emotions in a better way, etc.

Also, my guess is she ripped the black barbie’s head off because she was specifically mad at you.

Also, getting that stuff doesn’t mean that she is spoiled. You might want want to think on why that makes you feel like she is though.

I’m sorry but that is hilarious 😂😂 my son whose about to be 3, when he was first learning what anger was, he would be destructive, now he only does things like flip his food or throw a toy occasionally on purpose. I watched parenting videos on YouTube that helped bc I was losing my patience. She’s 4 though, she doesn’t really know what she’s doing in terms of how it’s making you feel. It’s also a toy, not a diamond, it’s meant to be tossed and you can always hot glue anything that breaks. Or just try to find the positive in things. Sometimes you just gotta laugh.

I can relate to the representation issue in dolls, however I sense this is a particularly touchy subject for you?

It doesn’t sound like your daughter is a spoiled brat, it sounds to me that maybe she was angry that YOU put the stickers/mirrors on HER new toy, was frustrated and angry and in the moment, couldn’t verbalise this so took it out on the toy instead. Remember they have no impulse control at this age so cut her some slack. I also have a 4yo daughter so completely understand.

Just because she received 4 Barbies doesn’t mean you have to give them all to her. You could either return some of them to the store for a gift card and buy her something else, or do toy rotation so she isn’t overwhelmed.

If you don’t want family/friends to buy them, be sure to tell them so. You don’t need to say why, just say she has loads of them already and to get something else for future.

Girl…she’s 4? And also you got her the black Barbie and she was upset with you so she ruined the one you got her because it makes sense to her not because she’s black, she’s expressing how she feels toward you in the moment. Shes 4 start now sitting down and teaching her patience and how to tell you how she feels instead of ruining her things when she’s upset. Shes not a brat she’s just not processing what’s right and wrong yet. Give her and yourself grace mama this is all about learning on both ends🫶🏼

she doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions yet that part of her brain isn’t developed yet

Thank you for the support everyone hearing an outside perspective helped to get me out of my feelings. I was definitely triggered which is easy during this time of year and from being stir crazy.

We talked about treating our toys with respect and put the Barbie’s in a box to play with another day and we are all going out to the library to get out of the house.

*grinch voice* almost lost my cool there

It’s not that. It’s probably just normal 4 year old behavior. My nephew is mixed and so is all of our family but he’s the only little who’s older now, he took until he was 5 almost 6 to understand he’s not just white and that his dad is “brown” we didn’t want to confused him too much. But it’s confusing for little minds. Take a moment and breathe, sometimes it’s hard being the momma. You’re doing amazing but you also need to remember her world is much more black and white than ours is when they’re so little. Some ways of thinking simply can’t be learned so young but we can give them the building blocks and lead by example. When you re approach her try to be calm and use simple language to ask what’s wrong and why what she did was wrong then just forgive her and love on her for a bit

know that putting the stickers on yourself usually causes a problem with kids that age. They like to have an input and freedom to do it themselves.

How is she expecting anything? She’s asking how to teach her daughter how to be more grateful for her things. That can be taught at age 4 and should be taught early or else it will get worse as kids get older. I would just talk to her about appreciating her things?? Tell her I know you’re upset but we won’t break our toys or else you won’t have any toys to play with. Then tell her what she can do when she gets upset (blow out the candles, squeeze a plush, etc.)
I honestly JUST started buying my daughters Barbie’s this year ages 7 &8), the accessories are pricey. Little tikes has a Barbie line that’s more suitable for 4 year olds, check it out!

she is expecting her child to act older and more mature than she is and to already behave in a way that she has not been taught and has animosity toward her child for acting like her age and handling emotions the way a 4 year old does when in that type of situation.

She is asking for help now but she already expected something of her child otherwise she wouldn’t be calling her a spoiled brat.

OP is learning how to parent and that is good it’s what we all have to do but saying she was expecting something of her daughter that wasn’t yet developmentally appropriate without being taught isn’t an insult.

It’s not uncommon for parents to not understand what is normal for a child’s age.

I know and understand that. It’s the way the responses are being thrown at her is what I’m referring to. She also asked how she can teach her her child? Which is what we should be focusing on if we’re here to help and not be judgmental, correct? She clearly stated that she is venting. We get judged enough. This is supposed to be a safe space. You can tell her it’s not developmentally appropriate w/o chastising and making fun.

You only have yourself to blame. Sounds like you need therapy and parenting classes.

PSA just because this is a mom app doesn’t give you the right to mom SHAME! It’s actually disgusting watching woman tear other woman down, we all have moments of frustration that is literally life!

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Yeah. This thread is gross. We all worry about if we are doing things right with our kids. Four year olds are very individualistic. Crazy to think that trying to check yourself with other moms could lead to so much bullying.

I would take away the Barbie’s. She can’t handle them. Maybe give them back In a few days? I wouldn’t reward behavior if she is breaking them. Although I don’t think it’s about race

I honestly think kids don't care about toys as much as adults do. My mom loveeeesssss buying shit for my kids Especially things that they aren't ready for and gets bothered when they either don't get how to play with it naturally with her very logical instructions or they literally don't want to play with it.

Toddlers are emotional, not logical like us. If u are concerned for her being bratty, maybe try to work with her more and let her lead.
It sounds like she legit got mad because you put stickers on her cars without asking her. We may think their reasons for getting mad are petty or stupid but to them they aren't.
We need to work on respecting and understanding our kids more and not labeling them as manipulative or bratty

That’s a really mean thing to say to someone. I was venting and very mad when I wrote my post I was being vulnerable and needed camaraderie not put downs. For your information I am in therapy and I read parenting books weekly but we all have our moments and no one is a perfect parent there is no such thing. I don’t really think my daughter is a brat, I know she’s only four, I basically went and posted anonymously into a void so I could feel better and that makes me a great parent because I didn’t say anything to my daughters face about her character so to her mommy got mad took a break and was ready to start again after a short talk about respecting our things and putting the Barbie’s away for another day we went to the library and had a great day. I’m now taking a nap to rest because today’s been a lot. Toddlers are tough but us moms are tougher. Have a great day. 😊

Great job redirecting and taking input!l as well as teaching/guiding your daughter.

You had a parenting win today ❤️