Boy parenting

I don’t have boys but I have two step girls one 5 and the other 8 that have server adhd and the eldest suspected autism .. so there is alot of behaviour issues .. and there father and I now have them 5 days and there mother 2 .. this is along story however since the children have been told there not handling the change so well as yu can expect with adhd / oldest with suspected autism .. so plenty of lashing out and violence towards each other and I am 16 weeks with a boy that is cause a lot of second trimester pain ..

The only advice I can offer from my end which is hard and the father working aswell is strong boundaries.. stick to them .. I don’t believe in smacking others children so and if mine only when then truely deserve one but even then I find it hard .. definitely not against other parents doing it just me as a person :)

I try the USA nanny approach and time out seems to work which is for the oldest as she is near 10 she will get 10 mins and the youngest being 6 it’s 5

If they don’t go yu stop what yu are doing take them to there room and very clearly say time out, how long for and I will be back for a talk about your behaviour.. if they come out you take them back and start time again and repeat until they get it .. 9 out of 10 .. but don’t stand around walk away .. this shows your boundary as a parent and yu reinforce that ..

Hope this helps

Time outs, start taking away privileges/toys. If they keep acting out no TV, no book at bedtime, etc. I wanted to cry the other day my kid wasn’t listening all day long. It’s a lot of patience mama and your not alone 💓

I only have one 3 y/o boy and struggled w this for a little, I would say boundaries are crucial but also sticking to them, our kids are smarter than we think they know when and who they can test the waters with. When implementing any rule there has to be a follow through every single time they break it. Also don’t ask more than once, I ask my son to do something once nicely, the second time I say it more sternly with direct eye contact and I’m not asking a third. I don’t spank my kid so I’ll send him to sit in his bed for 3 minutes. Also I 100% feel like getting on their height level and having that direct eye contact is a great way to start if they aren’t listening to just the sound of your voice. My son now knows with the tone I say something or the look I give him that I’m being serious and while he may have an attitude while doing it he’s doing it 😭

I have 4 boys 11, 7, 2, and 1. I would just try going off ages on how to discipline the older one maybe take electronic privileges away.
As for the anger my 7 year old went through a time where he was anger took it out on me wouldn't listen to me at all this was when my husband worked out of town we came to realize he was so sad my husband had to leave for work that he would take it out on me. Maybe your son is feeling some type of way and he's not sure how to express it other then in anger. Maybe find a craft or something you two can do alone together and see if having one on one time helps. I only say that cause with 4 boys if I don't try to do one on one times I notice that's when they start acting out more. And in the winter cause it's to cold to go outside for long.

Thanks so much for all taking the time to comment. It’s nice to hear that so many others take the same approach as us and have seen it pay off. I know most of parenting is perseverance and also being aware when something isn’t working and questioning your methods. I know it’s not a one size fits all situation. Our boys have very different personalities and our eldest is much more emotional and that’s where I know the anger is just what bubbles on the surface and he needs that one-on-one discussion time to get to the root of the issue and get some guidance in learning to emotionally regulate better. It’s really hard to stop reacting to it all the time as I’ve come to realise that that’s what he is doing too. I agree with implementing time outs but I realised I was using it as a punishment rather than a thinking and diffuse time to reflect and then have a conversation about it and implement punishment after.
Such a struggle sometimes, but nice to be reminded you’re not alone. Thanks ☺️