Lost for words
Sorry it’s long 😞So fed up, we have a 2 year old and 20 weeks pregnant with our second. My partner is usually amazing, we’re like best friends, he’s an amazing dad, works hard and spends a lot of time with us through the week. Until he gets paid at the end of the month, and it gets to Friday and he wants to bin us off last minute and go get smashed until 5am. He completely changes after a couple of drinks, just feels cold and distant, like there’s only one aim once he tastes the alcohol! It’s absolutely draining, and I’m really starting to feel like doing things alone as I cant take it when he drinks and his personality changes😣
Is this what you expect for a man with a family and pregnant partner? I feel like I have settled down as a parent, and will go out when it’s preplanned and arranged way in advance, but he thinks he can tell me when we’re out for a meal, ‘oh by the way I’m off out after here’, like it’s nothing and I should accept that? And I would never dream of doing that as a mother. Just feel like our priorities are completely different and not sure it’s what I want anymore. He thinks he should be able to go out whenever he wants just because he’s always home through the week?? - where as I’d rather have family days and trips on weekends (I go out occasionally but don’t feel the need often)
Am I being unreasonable? How often do your partners go out and get stupidly drunk until stupid hours?
He makes me feel like I’m being unfair, and Id like to know if other people agree or not
Tonight we went out for tea which we had planned all week and was both looking forward to, and after a few drinks there, he was texting this friend the whole time while eating and was really blunt and grumpy, like he just didn’t want to be there. Barely said 2 words. Then got his friend to ring him on loud speaker in the car on the way home, and say ‘oh mate you have to come out for a drink with us please come on’ etc - I can read him like a book and I knew straight away that he had asked his friend to do that and it was preplanned. I think that was so disrespectful and embarrassing, to make up a little fake scenario phone call with his friend, it’s showing his friend also the little respect he must have for me? And I’m supposed to be spending the rest of my life with this person who makes me look an idiot to his friends? I feel disgusted and like I don’t even want to be around him.
Any advice/opinions welcome, I’m just so drained😓
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COMMUNICATION!
you need to vent all this out at him. Every weekend is just stupid. You were at dinner he wanted to go out then he should be a big boy and say so.
No I don't think he needs to ask permission to go out but speaking to u about it is necessary.
You have children now he's got responsibilities. Time to step up
I completely agree, communication is so important and it just feels like we’re miles apart 😥thank you x
That doesn't sound good to me. My partner goes out once every 2 to 3 weeks I would say. It is usually last minute and he normally gets in about 1:30am. As it is not often I never mind him going and don't feel begrudged
I haven't been out on a night out drinking for about 19 months now and don't miss it at all. I think mum's do stay in at home a bit more than dad's because it is naturally how we react when kids are born. Xx
This is absolutely not okay. My partner works full time and on call a lot of the times so he’s out a lot during the week. On the weekends he is here with us. Neither of us would go out for drinks, not right now. We have a toddler who is growing up fast. We will have plenty of time to drink and play later in life. I don’t think it’s appropriate to go out when you have a family. Priorities should change for sure. You need to start putting your foot down.
😟🥺 it’s definitely a red flag for later down the line.
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